


Marauders Short Stories

by canismajor1970



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 41,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29424051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canismajor1970/pseuds/canismajor1970
Summary: Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attentions span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Wedding Crasher

**Author's Note:**

> Description: Sirius is getting married tomorrow...OR IS HE?!?  
> CW: Swearing and drinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Sirius is getting married tomorrow...or is he????  
> CW: Swearing and Drinking   
> Authors Note: Ok so i wrote this first story and i completely forgot about Peter’s existence for a hot minute so the bitch just isn’t in this one lol

This was not happening. He was not doing this. He should turn back.  _ “Go back to your hotel  _ _ room you moron!!!” _ , Sirius told himself, but his feet wouldn’t slow down. They just kept walking down the hallway down to his best man’s room. _ “Don’t do this.” _ , he continued to tell himself,  _ “You love Marlene. Your beautiful fiance Marlene. Stop walking. Go back to your room. Don’t do this to her.” _ . But this wasn’t about Marlene. It was about Sirius, and Remus. And so Sirius kept walking. Down this ridiculously long hallway. Why was this hallway so long?!?! But he made it to the end and suddenly he was standing outside the room. Hotel Room 661. Sirius raised his arm to knock on the door but his arm wouldn’t budge. He couldn’t bring himself to actually knock on the door. He started pacing. He always paced when he was nervous or anxious. He continued to mutter and pace while his head flooded with thought.  _ “What will this do to Marlene? It might destroy her. What will Remus say? What will I say? I can’t say anything. I shouldn’t say anything. I need to say something. I need to tell him. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What the fuck am I thinking? What the hell am I doing? I’m getting married tomorrow. I can’t do this. But I have to. But I can’t “. _ Sirius groaned, he didn’t know what to do. He was just about to go back to his room when Remus’s door swung open. 

“....Hey.” Remus said, “ I heard pacing, was that you?”. Sirius just stared blankly for a few moments.  _ “Now or never! Do it!”,  _ and with that Sirius just walked into Remus’s room. It sounded strange, but he needed to trap himself or he was afraid he would walk away. 

“Is there something I can help you with?” Remus asked, he looked really confused.  _ “God he’s gorgeous.” _ Sirius thought. His dusty brown hair resting on top of his head. He was wearing a big fuzzy sweater and sweatpants. He wasn’t even trying and he was just beautiful. 

“I need to talk to you.” Sirius said matter of factly. He couldn’t think of anything else to say. 

“Ok, what is it” Remus replied, sitting down in one of the chairs covered in a fabric that looked like it was from a Michael’s sale bin. 

“I don’t know if I can get married tomorrow.” Sirius said. Remus sighed, as if he expected this to happen. Sirius was slightly offended, but he couldn’t blame Remus if he was being honest. 

“Why not?” Remus asked,”Is it cold feet?”. Sirius didn't know what to say. It wasn’t really cold feet.  _ “What a stupid term for being nervous. Is there a term for being in love with your best friend? If there is it would make this interaction easier. Then I wouldn’t have to actually say the words.”  _

“Sirius?”. Sirius suddenly snapped out of it. 

“It’s not really cold feet. It’s something else. I don’t really know how to say it.” Sirius said, still pacing. 

“Why don’t you sit down,” Remus said, “You're sort of stressing me out.”. Sirius almost laughed.  _ “I’m pretty sure I’m more stressed than you.”  _ Sirius thought. Nevertheless, Sirius took a seat on the ugly chair next to Remus’s. 

“Take as much time as you need.” Remus said.  _ “God why is he so nice.”.  _

“Tea?” Remus asked.

“Scotch.” Sirius replied. A little liquid courage wouldn’t do any harm. Remus laughed and went to the dinky hotel bar and grabbed a cheap bottle of scotch he got at the corner store across the street just in case.  _ “He’s so smart. And cute. And dreamy….God snap out of it!” _ Remus poured a liberal amount of scotch into two plastic cups provided by the hotel. He brought them over and set the bottle and the cups down on the dinky coffee table. They both took sips of their scotch and sat in silence for a while. It wasn’t awkward though since they had been friends for 11  years. While this was happening, Sirius’s mind was racing.  _ “Oh God I have to say something. I mean how will I even say it? Ok what are some things I can say. Remus, I’ve loved you since sixth year, run away with me will you? No that's not subtle enough. Ok try again. Remus, it has come to my attention that I am in love with you. Subtly that is. Nope wrong again. Ugh why is this so hard? Do you think I could get him to say it for me? How would that work you gorgeous buffoon?”  _ Sirius was just about to try and implant a message in Remus’s mind when he heard Remus’s voice. 

“Are you alright mate? You look kinda pale”. 

“No no I’m fine I uh,” Sirius then got up and started pacing again. He needed to move around or he would explode. “I need to tell you something. It's kind of important.”.

Remus looked really concerned after Sirius said this. 

“Ok what’s wrong?” he asked. 

“No no nothing is wrong it’s just..” Sirius shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest. 

“Icantmarrymarlenebecauseiminlovewithyou.” Sirius said.

“Sorry what?” Remus said. Sirius sighed. 

“I can’t marry Marlene because I’m in love with you.” Sirius said. Remus’s face fell as he started to stand up. But before he could speak Sirius started babbling. 

“Now I know that this is a big shock but I have been in love with you since sixth year and I just couldn’t bring myself to tell you because I didn’t know if you would like me back and if you didn’t I knew it would be weird and I couldn’t live without my best friend and the Marlene asked me out and I just thought that since you didn’t like me that it would be a little fling but then it went a lot farther then a I thought it would ever get and then she proposed to me and I didn’t know what to say or-or do so I just said yes because I care about her and you were always there for me and I never thought you would like me and I didn’t know what to do and now I’m getting married tomorrow and I care about my fiance but I don’t love my fiance and I know how terrible that sounds but I love you and I have a really long time a I just-”, Remus kissed him. They were kissing. It was like fireworks.  _ “Oh my god finally oh my god oh my god.” _ . After a few seconds Remus pulled away and looked Sirius in the eye. 

“I think I’m in love with you too.” Remus said in an almost inaudible whisper. Sirius smiled and leaned in to kiss him again. But Remus pulled away. 

“But I can’t do that to Marlene. You're getting married to her tomorrow.”. 

“I won’t if you don’t want me to.” Sirius whispered. “We can leave right now.”. 

“I’m sorry Sirius I wish we could. I wish it were that simple. But there are other things to consider. Other people. I would give anything for it to be just us, but it isn’t.”. And with that Sirius’s heart shattered. He didn’t know what to do. 

“What do you suggest I do then?” Sirius asked. 

“I don’t know.” Remus said. 

“I best be getting back then.” Sirius said, walking towards the door. 

“Sirius I-” Remus started, but Sirius was already closing the door. Sirius almost ran down the impossibly long hallway back to his hotel room. Tears streaming down his face. He unlocked the door and slammed it behind him. He leaned against the door and slid down. He couldn’t stop crying. He had to put his face in a pillow to make sure he didn’t wake up the guests in the rooms next to his. He couldn’t believe that just happened. If he had just told him, he wouldn’t be here

right now. He could’ve been sound asleep, happy because he was marrying Remus. And now he was getting a sore throat from how much he was crying and he was getting married tomorrow. It was supposed to be the happiest day of his life and he was dreading it. 

**\------------------------------------**

Sirius got about 30 minutes of sleep. He was awoken by a banging at his door. 

“SIRIUS WAKE UP MATE, WE GOTTA BE READY IN AN HOUR”.

James. Shit. 

“BE RIGHT THERE” Sirius called back, his voice really raspy. He ran to the bathroom.  _ “Shit Shit Shit Shit”  _ Sirus’s face was red and puffy from crying all night.  _ “Christ am I allergic to sadness?” _ He turned on the sink and splashed his face with water. 

“HURRY UP MATE” James called. 

“OI CALM YOUR TITS” Sirius called back as he walked to the door. When he opened the door James was holding two tuxes and a makeup bag. 

“You have to be fucking kidding.” Sirius said in a deadpan tone. 

“Now I knew you wouldn’t like it but,” James said as he entered the room. “Lily gave me some makeup to make sure you look as nice as possible. She didn’t give me any fancy stuff, just some creams and powders, she also showed me how to use them. And no offense but your face looks kinda red.”. Sirius fought back more tears. He was surprised he wasn’t dehydrated at this point. He honestly didn’t have the strength to argue so he just sat down in the chair in front of James and let him do his thing.  _ “Oh god I can’t believe I’m letting James do this. If Remus was here he wouldn’t let this happen. Oh no don’t think about it no no no no no no.”  _

“You alright mate?” James asked. Sirius just nodded, he couldn’t talk right now. 

“Ah cold feet, I was so nervous before my wedding you know..” Sirius just let James ramble about how great marriage was. He really couldn't do anything right now. He was almost catatonic.  _ “If Remus was here it would help. Remus could make this better. God but I can’t see him right now. But I have to. But I can’t. GOD EMOTIONS CAN SUCK MY DICK. Hey maybe Remus could NO NO NO NO NO STOP STOP STOP OH MY GOD YOUR GROSS”  _

“Annnnnd done!” James exclaimed, snapping Sirius out of his thoughts. He looked in the mirror. 

“I look like french prostitute Prongs.” Sirius said.

“Right, “ James said, “I’ll go get Lily, she’s right down the hall.”. A couple minutes later James came in with Lily in a short pale blue halter dress. 

“Ok Sirius what did James do.” Lily sighed. Sirius turned around and Lily stifled a laugh. 

“Don’t laugh! It’s not that bad.” James said. 

“James, he looks like a french prostitute!” Lily said, still laughing. 

“That’s what I said!” Sirius exclaimed. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you look like a bachelor.” Lily said cheerfully. Sirius groaned and sat back down in the chair. About ten minutes of weird powders and brushed later, Sirius looked at his new face. 

“Wow, it looks like I’m not wearing makeup.” Sirius said. 

“Exactly the point!” Lily said, “Now I’ve gotta get back to Marls, I’m worried she’s gonna burn her hair off. Down at the venue in 30 minutes gentlemen!” Lily called as she walked out the door. 

“Are you alright mate?” James asked after Lily left. “You seem kind of off.”

“I’m ok.” Sirius said, “Just nervous.”. And then before he could stop himself he blurted out

“Where’s Remus?”. 

“Oh he said he’d meet us at the venue, didn’t say why though.” James replied.  _ “I can take a guess.”  _ Sirius thought. They spent the next half hour doing their hair, making small talk, and going over Sirius’s vows. This made Sirius feel sick. He knew that the notecard was covered in lies. He knew he didn’t mean it. It just made this ten times worse. Eventually the time to go down to the venue. They were getting married on a golf course that was right next to the hotel. As they walked over James went over how the ceremony would go and how the reception would go and what not. When they reached the golf course there was a huge white tent about 25 meters long and 15 meters wide. There were several rows of wooden chairs all facing a large white arch at the front covered in flowers. It would have been beautiful if Sirius hadn’t been trying not to puke. And what's worse, Remus was there. Sitting at one of the front chairs that still wasn’t occupied. Remus sensed they were there and stood up and turned around to face them. “ _ Stupid werewolf senses”  _

“Hey, you ready?” Remus asked.

“Yep” Sirius replied, it was all he could manage to say. Soon the guests started to pile into their seats and the bridesmaids came to the venue. 

“Marlene and her dad will be here soon.” Mary said smiling. “I’m so excited!!” Sirius smiled at her and took his place at the front of the altar. About five minutes later Marlene and her father came walking down the aisle. Sirius felt tears in his eyes but quickly blinked them away. He wasn’t crying because he was about to get married, or because of how beautiful Marlene or any of that. He was crying because it wasn’t Remus walking down the aisle. _“Ok Remus would never walk down an aisle are you crazy?”_ Marlene made it to the end of the aisle and stood across for Sirius. She was beaming like a maniac. Sirius forced a smile as Marlene’s brother started the ceremony. _“Good Merlin, how did I let this get this far? How do I get out of this? Will I ever get out of this? This was a bad idea. Oh god Oh god.”_ Sirius fought the urge to turn around and look at Remus. He just wanted to look into Remus’s eyes. He was convinced that would help. Maybe if he just looked at him it would make everything better? _“Are you fucking stupid? That’s a terrible idea!!”_ Just then, he heard Marlene’s brother say it was time for the vows. _“Fuck”._ Marlene turned around to get a piece of paper from Mary. 

“Sirius, I’ve known you for eleven years now, and we’ve been dating for one year. This year has been one of the best of my life. I’m so excited to spend the rest of my years with you. I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of our lives. In sickness and in health. I love you!”  _ “Oh sweet Jesus that was sweet. What the fuck do I do?”  _ Sirius turned around to take his notecard from Remus. He looked into his eyes and a sense of happiness and relief rushed over him. Until he realised he couldn’t look at him forever. He reluctantly turned around to face his soon to be wife. 

“Marlene,” Sirius started, “ I promise to hold you deer to me forever.”. Sirius heard James stifle a chuckle. “I promise to love you no matter what. I promise to always be there for you. Whatever you need I’ll be there for you. ‘Till death do us part, Sirius.”. 

“Alright,” Marlene’s brother started,”Do we have any objections?”.  _ “Please object Remus please object Remus please object Remus.”  _ But sadly he didn’t speak up. 

“Alright,” the officiator continued,” Marlene, do you take Sirius to be your husband?” 

“I do.” Marlene said, she was beaming.  _ “Oh god.” _

“And do you Sirius take Marlene to be your wife?” Sirius paused.  _ “Jesus Christ say something you fool!”  _ But Sirius’s mouth wouldn’t open. Marlene’s face fell.  _ “You're a monster.”  _ Sirius looked back at Remus. He looked like he had just seen a ghost. But his brown eyes still managed to be gorgeous.  _ “I can’t do this.”  _

“I’m so sorry.” Sirius said in a low voice to Marlene. He let go of her hand and walked back across the street into the hotel. He could hear the silence at the venue from the hotel lobby. He ran up the stairs and locked himself in his hotel room. Where he sank to the floor and started crying his eyes out for the second time in 12 hours. 

__

**\--------------------------**

__

It had been almost an hour since he left his own wedding. And for the last five minutes all he could here was voices and banging outside of his hotel room. He heard Lily, Mary, and James. But no Remus. Their voices weren’t calming like his. They were stressing him out even more. Until he heard it. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. 

“Sirius it’s Remus, will you let me in?” Sirius sighed with relief. Even it was awkward between them right now. He needed his friend. And there was no way he could talk to James about this. Sirius grabbed his wand and silently unlocked the door. 

“Only Remus.” Sirius called. He heard some groaning that was soon muffled by the closed door. Remus walked into the hotel room to see Sirius still in his suit laying on his unmade bed. He looked like a mess. 

“Sirius what the hell happened?” Remus asked. 

“I couldn’t do it.” Sirius said in an almost inaudible whisper. But with Remus’s werewolf thing he picked it up. 

“Well that’s pretty clear.” Remus replied. 

“I didn’t mean for it to get this far.” Sirius said, holding back tears. 

“I know,” Remus said,”I know it was a mistake, but Marlene is understandably upset. You need to apologize to her.”.

“I know that. But I just can’t face her right now. I can’t face anyone.” Sirius replied. 

“Ok, I’ll let them know.” Remus said and started to walk out.

Wait, “ Sirius said, “could you stay. Please?”. Remus looked at him with an indescribable emotion. Sirius couldn’t make it out.  _ “Is it sympathy? Disappointment? Both? I wouldn’t be surprised if it was both.”.  _ Remus sat down in the bed next to Sirius. And Sirius started to cry. Remus put his arm around him and Sirius cried harder. They stayed like that for a long time. Until Sirius couldn’t cry anymore. 

__

**\----------------------------------**

__

It had been two months since the wedding day. Or lack thereof. A couple days after Sirius apologized to Marlene. She didn’t take it very well. There were a couple vases thrown. Thankfully she missed. But after a very long conversation they agreed to be on speaking terms, but nothing more. And frankly Sirius considered that a miracle. Mary and Lily were a lot harder to apologize to. They were furious with Sirius. Marlene even had to tell them to stop giving him the silent treatment. James was pretty easy to apologize to. He just explained how he felt and

James said it was ok. And as for Remus, they were back to being friends again. Sometimes Sirius even caught Remus staring at him. Which he would then over analyse until he thought nothing of it. Sirius laid down in his bed in his studio apartment in London. He closed his eyes and sighed. Everything was ok again. Well, except he still had a massive crush on Remus. But maybe that would pass one day. Besides, they were still friends. Just then, Sirius heard a knock on a door.  _ “Who the fuck is here at three in the morning. Goddamn twat.”  _ Sirius stumbled over to the door. Illuminating the flat with his wand. He made his way to the door and fumbled with the doorknob until it opened. And there he was. Remus was standing in his doorway in his pajamas like a crazy person. 

“I- I don’t really know what I’m doing here.” Remus stuttered. 

“Do you want to come in?” Sirius asked. Remus nodded and walked into the flat. 

“So I don’t really know how to say this.” Remus said. Sirius smiled. He had an idea of what he wanted to say. 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Sirius said, smirking. 

“Are you going to make me say it?” Remus asked. 

“Nope.” Sirius said, still smiling. “Actions speak louder than words you know.” Remus smiled and kissed him. 


	2. Little Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attentions span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Regulus gets the Potters to help Sirius when his parents are hurting him, which makes him end up sleeping right next to James Potter  
> CW: Swearing, Major Injury and pain

“CRUCIO” his mother shrieked again. At this point Sirius could only lie there and whimper. This had been the tenth time. It was almost unbearable to watch, but Regulus stood there frozen. 

“Will you be an honourable heir now???” his mother asked. 

“NO” Sirius shouted again. Walburga shrugged and cast the curse again. And once again Sirius fell to the floor in agony. Regulus couldn’t watch this any more. He backed away slowly and then ran out of the room. He ran to the parlor room and his mind started racing.  _ “What should I do? Should I get help? Even if I were to get help who would help me. Well there's-oh no.” _ Regulus knew there was a family that would always help Sirius. But Regulus didn’t know what he would do if he showed up there. Would they be upset with him? Would they even believe him? Regulus shook his head. As if trying to get something out of his hair. None of that mattered right now. What mattered was getting Sirius to safety. They didn’t always see eye to eye, but nevertheless they were brothers. Regulus stepped into the Floo chimney and grabbed a handful of floo powder. He prayed to god he didn’t butcher the name and threw the floo powder down on the floor. He was engulfed in green flames before he stepped out again into another parlor. This one was a lot warmer than his. It had dark orange sofas and a big coffee table with the daily prophet at the center. There were paintings of a couple famous wizards on the walls along with a young boy with messy balck hair. Yep, he was here. Thankfully he didn’t have to snoop around their house because Euphemia Potter was sitting on one of the couches drinking tea. 

“Regulus Black?” she asked. She looked rather concerned. Regulus nodded.

“It’s Sirius, he’s hurt.” Regulus said. And with that something changed in Euphemia’s face. Regulus thought it was a mix of anger and determination. But from there she kicked into problem solving mode. She ushered him to sit down on the couch and said everything would be ok. She then called her husband and told him what was going on. Fleamont then went through the floo to contact ministry officials and get Sirius out of that house. Just before Fleamont threw the floor powder down to his feet, James Potter came down the stairs.

“What’s going on?” he asked, “I heard some commotion.” Euphemia had a sympathetic look on her face as she walked over to her son. 

“Sweetheart, sit down and I’ll tell you what happened.” Euphemia said.

“Mom what’s going on?!” James asked as he sat down. As Euphemia explained what happened James’s face fell. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost. 

“Well how are going to get him out of there?!?!” James almost yelled. 

“Fleamont just went to the ministry and they will get him.” Euphemia replied. 

“Well who knows how long that will take? Who knows what they’ll do to him in the meantime!” James exclaimed. He got up and started walking around the room. 

“I know James but we can’t just barge into their house and take him.” Euphemia said. 

“Well that’s stupid.” James muttered. He then turned to the couch Regulus was sitting on and locked eyes with him. He had warm hazel eyes, even though he was stressed his eyes were comforting. 

“Thank you for coming.” James said. 

“Of course.” Regulus replied. After that James calmed down a little bit. After a couple minutes he spoke up again.

“I should probably go get Remus. He would want to know.” James said as he walked toward the chimney and grabbed some floo powder. 

“Ok,” said Euphemia, “be back in a few minutes.”. James nodded before he was engulfed in green flames. 

“Would you like to stay here tonight dear? I hate the idea of you going back there.” Euphemia said. Regulus didn’t want to impose, but he knew that if he went home they would know what he did. And he wanted to make sure his brother was alright, who would be staying here. 

“If it isn’t too much trouble, I really would like to stay with Sirius until I know he’s ok.” Regulus replied. 

“Of course dear.” Euphemia said smiling. She walked upstairs, presumably to make a bed for Regulus. Regulus knew that the Potter’s had a reputation for being nice, but it was weird to see it up close. About five minutes later James came through the chimney and sat down on the couch. A couple seconds later Remus Lupin walked out of the chimney. He looked distressed and really worried. He immediately started walking around the house muttering. Regulus knew that Remus and Sirius were dating, and he didn’t mind too much, but he knew his parents would, so he didn’t say anything. 

“I’ll kill them you know…” Regulus heard Remus mutter. 

“You can’t kill them Remus you’ll get locked up in Azkaban.” James said. 

“Well then I’ll kill all of them but one and then I’ll frame that one.” Remus said. Regulus just watched this interaction amazed. Not only was Remus going to supposedly kill an entire family just for his boyfriend, the only qualm Sirius’s best friend had with it was that he might get caught. But never fear, Remus is a mastermind killer apparently and can just frame it on someone else. 

“Besides,” James continued, “Reggie here told us what happened, so you can’t kill him.”. Regulus looked at James wide eyed. No one had called him Reggie since he was 10 years old. And this was James of all people. He knew Regulus was a mouthful but did he really deserve a nickname here?

“Thank you for getting him help.” Remus said, snapping Regulus out of his thoughts. 

“Oh, not at all.” Regulus replied quietly. After that Remus sat down on the couch next to James. They all just sat there in silence. There wasn’t really anything to talk about. None of them wanted to talk about what was happening, and none of them wanted to talk about something else because it didn’t seem appropriate. Then Euphemia walked downstairs. 

“I just received an owl from the Ministry, they are getting Sirius now.” Euphemia said. 

“Thank Merlin.” James said. Remus couldn’t stop tapping his foot. Regulus couldn’t blame him, they were all anxious. About five minutes later the doorbell rang. All three boys leapt out of their seats, and ran to the door, Euphemia close behind them. When Regulus opened the door he saw one ministry official, two Aurors, and Fleamont Potter levitating an unconscious Sirius Black.

“Sorry about the boys,” Euphemia said, pushing past the three of them, “They’re all pretty scared.”. Euphemia let everyone in and Fleamont set Sirius down on the couch. Remus immediately sat on the ground next to Sirius and brushed the hair out of his face. Regulus saw tears in Remus’s eyes but he quickly blinked them away. 

“Right then,” said the Official,” I assume Sirius Orion Black and Regulus Arcturus Black will be staying with you for the time being?”. Fleamont and Euphemia nodded. 

“Right,” the Official continued,” Well this will be their temporary home while Walburga Black and Orion Black are taken into custody and tried for accounts of-” 

“What?!?” Regulus interrupted, “They're in custody?” he asked. 

“Well...yes.” The official said, as if it was obvious. “Using a harmful curse, especially dark magic, on an offspring results in charges of child abuse, meaning they are tried and their children receive a temporary home until a verdict it reached. Regulus sat down. He couldn’t comprehend what was happening. His parents were in custody? Would he ever see them again? 

“Right,” the official continued, “ We gave him some medicine that knocked him out. He should be asleep for a while. Mrs. Potter, as I understand it you were a healer?” 

“Yes I was, if anything else happens I can take care of it.” Euphemia replied. 

“Right, “ said the official,” Best be off then, thank you for reporting lad.” said the official facing Regulus. Regulus just nodded. And with that the Aurors and the Official apparated away. 

“Alright, let’s get him to bed.” said Fleamont. He levitated Sirius again and started walking up the stairs. Euphemia and the boys following behind them. The three boys insisted on staying with Sirius to make sure he was ok. Euphemia allowed it but only if they honestly tried to sleep. She had the house elf whip up some mattresses on the floor next to Sirius’s bed. Remus was on one side of the bed and James and Regulus on the other. Fleamont lay Sirius down on the bed and instructed the boys to try and get some sleep. 

“He won’t wake up for a while. They gave him a sleeping draught.” Fleamont said as he walked out. Regulus couldn’t sleep at all, but after about thirty minutes or so he heard a faint snoring on the other side of the bed. 

“Is he asleep?” James asked. Regulus turned around and nodded. James laughed quietly.

“Must be the-” then he cut himself off and looked scared for a second, “he-uh- told me he wasn’t feeling well. That must be it.”. 

“Ya, must be.” Regulus whispered back. 

“How are you feeling?” James asked.

“Oh I’m splendid.”. James laughed. 

“I know this is a terrible situation. I just wanted to know if you want to talk about it?”. Regulus looked at James. They had never known each other very well. They had said hello on the train to Hogwarts all those years ago, but other than that they never really talked. Sometimes James would look at him during a Quidditch game, or ask him what he thought about a prank he pulled on his fellow housemates if he was close by, but this had been the most they’ve spoken ever. It was strange, but there was something about the way James spoke that was comforting. There was something about it that made Regulus want to hear him talk again. 

“It’s just...I knew my parents disapproved of Sirius. I knew they wanted him to shape up, but I never thought they would resort to...that. And after seeing that it’s hard to believe that they love him anymore. And after I got help I don’t think they’ll love me anymore. And it’s just a scary thing to think about. That they don’t love me anymore.”. Regulus was shaking. He couldn’t believe he just poured his heart out to this boy who was practically a stranger. It wasn’t like him at all. But he just needed someone to talk to. He never talked to anyone about himself. His friends just talked about classes and how much better they were than everyone else. Yes Regulus was better than a lot of people but his friends were just plain egotistical. 

“Regulus, you deserve so much better than them.” James said, “You deserve a family that loved you and Sirius for who you were, and loved you no matter what. And didn’t hurt you and-”. James blinked a couple times. “And I am so sorry you ever got less than that.”. Regulus stared

at him. He was so caring. And he barely knew him. Is this what happens when your parents love you? 

“I just don’t wanna end up like them.” Regulus continued, “If I ever have a family of any kind, or even people that care about me in my life, I never wanna treat them like my parents treated me and Sirius. Ever.”. 

“Regulus what are you talking about?” James asked. “You totally have people that care about you. Did you know that Sirius always insists on trying to leave you out of pranks on the slytherins, because he wants to make sure you're ok? Or that he never hits a bludger your way, just in case you get really hurt? Or...or..that cupcake that was in your dorm on your birthday? That was Sirius! He wanted to make sure you had an at least subpar birthday. He’s really into birthdays.”

“But he’s my brother, it’s kind of a given.” James paused for a few seconds. 

“I care about you.” he whispered. Regulus was so confused. Why was he being so nice?

“Why?” Regulus asked. It was the only thing he could think to say. 

“Well…” James started as he sat up against the wall. Regulus copied him and sat up.

“Your Sirius’s brother, you’re super smart too, it would be a tragedy if that intelligence was lost. You're a great seeker too, you broke the record last game remember? Let’s see what else...Oh! You put those snakes in the gryffindor common room! It was hilarious! There were so many people screaming, we had to get Mcgonagall to wrangle them all in.”. 

“Wait how did you know that was me?” Regulus asked. 

“You left a piece of paper with the incantation with your name on it in the common room. I wanted to learn the spell so I picked it up before anyone could see it…..It also would have been a shame if you’d gotten caught.”.

“Thanks.” Regulus said, “Your right that would’ve sucked.”.

“It was also a really complicated spell, took me forever to learn.” James said. “I mean how long did it take you?”.

“About a week.” Regulus replied.

“Blimey! It took me like 3 weeks. And that’s with the help of Remus and Sirius.”. Regulus laughed. 

“You’re really talented you know.” James said quietly. Regulus felt himself blushing. What was going on? Was James Potter just that smooth? 

“You're really talented too.” Regulus whispered back. James laughed. His laugh was infectious. If Sirius wasn’t lying unconscious next to him he might have laughed along with him. After a couple seconds of silence, James spoke up. 

“You know we got tons of bedrooms here, there’s plenty of room for you and Sirius. You can stay as long as you like. I hate the idea of you going to live somewhere that isn’t safe.”. 

“Thank you for letting me stay. I’m honestly scared to see my parents again. I know they’ll blame me for what happened.” Regulus replied. 

“You did the right thing Reg. Trust me. If you hadn’t come here for help Sirius could’ve wound up dead.” 

“You're too nice.” Regulus said smiling. 

“I don’t know, you seem to have cheered up a bit.” James replied, “I mean I don’t know if I’ve seen you genuinely smile.”. Regulus had stopped laughing but he was still smiling. 

“You look cute when you smile, you know?” James said quietly. Regulus looked into James’s eyes. They were a beautiful mix of green and brown. Regulus spent a couple moments staring into James’s eyes. Actually it could’ve been seconds or hours, Regulus didn’t know. All he knew was that James was now only a couple inches from his face. He felt James’s breath on his face and before he knew it he closed the gap between their face and kissed him. It was only for a few seconds but it felt like ages before they broke apart. Regulus couldn’t believe he just did that. He never thought that he would kiss James Potter, let alone want to kiss James Potter. But here he was, he just kissed James Potter and all he could think about was kissing him again. 

“I think I like you Reg.” James said. 

“I think I like you too.” Regulus replied. They talked about random stuff for a while before James suggested Regulus try to sleep because he looked tired. Regulus didn’t know if that was an insult or not but frankly James was right and he was too tired to care. 

“Hey...do you think you could just talk for a bit? Your voice is really calming.” Regulus said. James smiled. 

“Of course.” He quickly kissed him and laid down next to Regulus. 

“Let’s see… Peter came over the other day for help with some school assignments. I mean the guys nice and everything but pretty thick. I was playing quidditch yesterday and I scored 20 goals consecutively. It was pretty cool. I went to the library the other day and found a book about biology. It’s a subject they teach in muggle school, I tried reading it and wow! There's a lot going on in our cells. I think that when we’re back at Hogwarts-”. Just then James felt a hand on his. He turned to his side and saw Regulus sound asleep next to him, his hand laying on top of James’s. James smiled and started to drift off to sleep, careful not to move his hand. 

**\--------------------------**

Regulus slowly woke up. He saw that his hand was still on James’s. He quickly removed it and sat up. James stirred in his sleep, but didn’t wake up. Regulus turned to his left and saw Sirius awake, his back facing him, talking to Remus. 

“You’re awake!” Regulus blurted out. Sirius turned around to face Regulus and smiled. 

“That I am!” he replied. 

“I’m glad you're ok.” Regulus said. 

“Me too, hey would you mind waking up Prongs? He’s sleeping forever.” Regulus nodded and gently shook James awake. 

“Ya?” James said in a rough voice. 

“Sirius is awake.” Regulus said. James immediately jumped off of his mattress and ran to the edge of the bed that Sirius was on. He jumped on the bed and sat cross legged across from Sirius. 

“You’re awake!” James exclaimed. 

“Right you are!” Sirius replied. 

“How are you feeling?” James asked. 

“I’m ok, Remus here was keeping me company before you two woke up.” James smiled. And then Regulus smiled because James smiled. His smile could light up a dark room. The boys talked for another fifteen minutes or so before Euphemia called them down for breakfast. Remus and James exited the room first, Regulus and Sirius bringing up the rear. 

“Hey Regulus, hang back a second will ya?” Sirius asked, pulling Regulus back into the bedroom. 

“What is it?” Regulus asked. 

“Now, were my eyes deceiving me or were you holding James’s hand in your sleep?” Sirius asked. Regulus’s face fell. Fuck. 

“I- uh- well here's the thing...I” Regulus stuttered. Sirius chuckled. 

“Calm down, I’m messing with you. Of course if you fancy James that’s ok. Hey tell me if he breaks your heart, cause I’ll break his nose, yeah?”. Regulus laughed.

“I think it’s ok Sirius, but thank you for offering.” Regulus said. 

“We’re going to ok. Ok?” Sirius asked.

“Ok.” Regulus replied. The both walked down the stairs to the kitchen. James and Remus were sitting next to each other at the table. Sirius took his seat across from Remus and Regulus sat across from James. 

“Morning boys!” Euphemia said cheerfully, “You four get some sleep.” They all nodded their heads in unison. Regulus looked at James and James winked at him. Regulus blushed and returned to his eggs. He definitely liked James Potter. 


	3. Solutions to Future Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: James Potter finds himself lost in time after the time turner (that he stole) malfunctions. But was it for the better?

“James where in Merlin’s name did you get that?” Remus asked as James paraded into their dorm with a gold necklace looking very proud. 

“More importantly  _ what  _ is that?” Peter asked. 

“This my dear Wormy, is a time turner.” James replied. 

“Yes James but the question still remains, where did you get it?” Remus asked again. 

“It was in Minnie’s office. I took it while I was serving detention.” James said.

“Ok first of all, don’t call her Minnie. It’s weird. Second of all I am begging you not to use that highly dangerous magical object.” Remus said. 

“Well if you won’t let him use the highly dangerous magical object then  _ I’ll  _ use the highly dangerous magical object.” Sirius declared, climbing out of his bed to join the rest of the marauders. 

“None of you are using the highly dangerous object that our lovely Prongs  _ stole. _ ” Remus announced. 

“Why not?” Sirius whined.

“Because there is a very high chance you will cause a rip in the space-time continuum.” Remus said matter of factly. He tried to reach for the necklace James backed up across the room.

“Now now Moony, I'm sure we can come to a compromise here.” James said. 

“I highly doubt that will be necessary.” Remus said, now following James around the room, while James tried to keep the necklace away from him.

“Ok what if one of us did an experiment?” Sirius proposed, “Only one of us goes back only an hour, then after the hour is up they’ll just walk back here and tell us it worked!”. Remus stopped chasing James around the room. Then he sighed.

“I can’t stop you from using this eventually can I?”. 

“Nope.” James and Sirius said in unison. Remus sighed again. 

“Alright.” he said, “But there is no way I am using that thing.” 

“I’ll use it!” Sirius shouted. 

“Absolutely not! I am the one that found it.” James said. 

“It does make sense that James be the one to use it first since he found it.” Peter chimed in. Sirius groaned. 

“Fine, but I’m going second.” Sirius grumbled. 

“Lovely!” James said as he put on the necklace, “Now how does the highly dangerous magical object work?”. 

“Just turn it back once and we’ll go from there. And DO NOT be seen.” Remus said. 

“Seems simple enough.” James said. The three other boys gathered around James as he started to turn the dial. He turned it back once counter clockwise to go back in time, but as soon as he did, the dial started turning clockwise on his own, it kept turning and turning, sending James farther and farther away. The last thing James heard were his friends’ frantic voices as he travelled to who knows when. 

**\---------------------**

When James’s surroundings stopped spinning he found himself in his dorm, but it wasn’t the same. Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail weren’t there. Neither were any of their belongings.

People definitely lived in this dorm, but it wasn’t James or any of the other Marauders.  _ “Oh no.”  _ James thought,  _ “What if the boys that live here come back?” _ . James quickly ran out of the dorm room and down the stairs. He practically ran across the common room and down the moving staircase. He almost fell about ten times, but he didn’t care. He had to get out of the castle before any of the teachers saw him. He ran through the halls down to the circle of stones. In one of the massive hallways, he saw a first year hufflepuff.  _ “Ok. He couldn’t possibly know who I am.” _ . 

“Hey, what year is it?” James asked the boy. The boy looked really confused. 

“1994? How do you not know what year it is?” the boy replied. James just stared at him. 

“Look at that hippogriff!” James exclaimed. The boy turned around quickly and James ran in the other direction. He didn’t stop running until he was outside the castle. He stopped to catch his breath on one of the big stones in the stone circle.  _ “Who was the architect that decided to put these bloody things here? Their just plain stupid.”  _ James sat down and calmed down a bit. He decided his best bet was to go to Minnie and tell her what happened. He reached for the time turner and froze. It wasn’t there. It wasn’t around his neck. “ _ Fuck. What happened to it??”  _ He was just about to retrace his steps when he heard screaming behind him. He jumped up and turned around to see what was happening. There he counted five people in the distance. Right near the whomping willow. The willow seemed to be charmed because it wasn’t hurting any of them. One of the people was doubled over in pain, and another grabbing onto him. Then he heard the man scream. 

“You know where your heart truly lies Remus!”. James’s stomach dropped. _“Why is Remus here? Why is he transforming? Did he forget about the moon? Who’s helping him? Is that...is that Sirius?!? What the hell are they doing here? Clearly we’ve already graduated. Is he a full werewolf now? Oh fuck.”_ James started running towards Remus. He transformed into a stag and charged toward the group. He hated the idea of hurting Remus, but he didn’t have a choice. He saw the wolf throw Sirius into the woods. James ran faster. He couldn’t let those other three people get hurt. Just then a tall man in black robes emerged from the willow and shielded the other three from the wolf. Just then it occurred to James that the other three were children. He stood up on his hind legs and pushed the wolf with his front hooves. The wolf staggered back and fell to the ground. The wolf growled and tried to charge at him, but he was stopped by a black dog biting his leg. The wolf then tried to attack Padfoot but Prongs pushed him to the ground again. Padfoot growled at the wolf and the wolf cowered. It backed away into the woods and ran away. James transformed back into his human form and Sirius followed. Sirius stared at him. James stared right back. Sirius looked bad. His hair was matted and knotty, his face was sunken and he was wearing a prisoners uniform. 

“Pads what the hell happened to you?” James asked. 

“I think the better question is how the hell are you here?” Sirius asked. 

“I’m going to second him on that.” said a low voice behind both of them. James turned around to see a tall man in black robed with greasy hair that he could recognize anywhere. 

“Snivelly?” James said. 

“Potter.” Snape spat back. “As lovely as this reunion is, the question still remains. How in the name of Merlin are you here?”. 

“I used a time turner.” James said. 

“A time turner?”James looked down to see a girl with curly brown hair wearing a golden necklace, “Did you mean this time turner?” she asked. 

“Yes!” James exclaimed, “That time turner, where did you get it?”. 

“Mcgonagall gave it to me. Where did you get it?” She asked. 

“Oh I stole it.” James said. 

“Stole it?!” asked a red head boy next to her, “How the bloody hell did you do that?”. 

“It’s quite simple really, I saw it on her desk and picked it up.” James replied. 

“So if he knows you what year are you from?”. James looked to where that question came from and saw a boy several inches shorter than him, but other than that they looked really similar, except this boy had bright green eyes. 

“Padfoot, why does he look like me?” James asked, turning to Sirius. Sirius paused. 

“Well that’s Harry.” Sirius replied.

“Who’s Harry?” James asked again. 

“I believe he’s your son.” said the girl. 

“What?!?!?” James exclaimed. “I have a son?”. 

“Ya he’s yours and Lily’s!” said Sirius. 

“Lily and I have a kid?” asked James. 

“So he’s my dad?” said the boy who looked like James. 

“Wouldn’t you have a little bit of a better idea of what I looked like if I was your dad?” James asked. And with that everyone fell quite for a few seconds. Then, finally, Sirius spoke up. 

“He doesn’t know what you look like because you died when he was young, Prongs.” James’s mouth went dry. 

“What?” he asked, “When do I die?”. 

“At the tender age of 21.” Snape said almost sarcastically. 

“Oh up yours Snivelly you foul greaseball.” James said. He turned back to Sirius. 

“Ok, you need to explain some things, why am I dead, who else is dead, and why are you in a prisoners uniform.”. Sirius sighed and started to explain. 

“Well, during the war you and Lily went into hiding because Voldemort wanted to kill you, Lily, and Harry because of some sort of prophecy. So you said you made me your secret keeper but you didn’t. You made Peter your secret keeper. But everyone thought I was the secret keeper. Then while you were in hiding, Peter went to Voldemort’s side, and told him where you guys were hiding. And then Voldemort killed you and Lily, but he couldn’t kill Harry. And when you guys were found dead I was framed. I was in Azkaban for 12 years, I only just escaped. And Peter stayed as a rat for those 12 years, posing as Ron’s pet rat, Scabbers. I came here today to try and kill him, but he got away while Remus was transforming, and now you're up to speed.”. James’s heart was beating faster than it ever had. 

“What?” he croaked. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but do you think we could discuss this in the hospital wing? Because your friend there tore my leg to shreds.” said the red head boy. 

“Oh ya, sorry again.” Sirius said as he wordlessly lifted Ron into the air. Ron yelped as he floated through the air towards the castle. 

“I know this must be a lot to take in, but there is a way to avoid this, when you get back you need to stop being friends with Peter, and when the time comes, make me your secret keeper.” Sirius said. 

“Ok, I can do that,” James replied, “It’s just a lot to take in. I mean, bloody hell Pads what happened to you is barbaric.”. 

“I know, but it’s never too late to be an optimist!” Sirius said. James laughed. 

“I don’t know Pads, you're looking pretty old.” James replied. Sirius punched him in the arm and laughed. Just then they heard loud whispering in front of them. Harry and the girl looked to be arguing about something. Then the girl whispered something that seemed to make Harry go quiet. Harry whispered something else and then they stopped arguing. 

“What do you reckon that was about?” James asked, but before he could reply, he felt a kind of cold sensation wash over him. All the happiness drained out of him. He turned around and saw at least 20 dementors floating towards the group. Sirius dropped Ron and Ron yelled in pain. 

“You know how to cast a patronus right?” Sirius asked, pulling out his wand. 

“I’m not an idiot Pads.” James pulled out his wand. 

“Expecto patronum!” Sirius and James yelled in unison. A stag and a big dog came out of their wands and raced towards the dementors. The dementors covered their faces and quickly retreated into the forbidden forest. 

“Bloody hell.” Ron said. 

“That is not impressive Weasley, it is a fairly simple charm.” Snape snarled. 

“Shut up Snivelly!” James said. 

“Watch your language Potter!” Snape said.

“Oooh what are you gonna do, give me detention?” James replied. Snape grunted and turned around to continue walking. 

“Sorry about that.” Sirius said to Ron as he levitated him off the ground again, “But those dementors would have sucked all our souls out.”. 

“I’m starting to think you're prone to hurting people.” Ron replied as he crossed his arms. When they made it to the castle entrance, Sirius stopped and gently placed Ron down. 

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked. 

“I’m sorry Harry but unfortunately I am still a wanted man. They’ll lock me up if I go in there.” Sirius said. 

“Will I ever see you again?” Harry asked. 

“Of course you will!” Sirius said. He walked over to Harry and gave him a hug. 

“Until next time.” He said as he walked away. Then Sirius turned to James. 

“I wish we had more time, but I have to go.” Sirius said. 

“Me too, I’m sorry Pads.” James said. He gave him a quick hug before we heard Snape speak up. 

“I may vomit.” He said in his monotone cheese grater of a voice. Sirius rolled his eyes as he walked away. 

“Shut up Snivelly, go wash the grease out of your hair.” James said as he levitated Ron out of the air again. 

“You do realize that joke is stale.” Snape said. 

“It’s not stale if it’s still a fact!” James called. Ron laughed. 

“Did you go to school with him?” Ron asked. 

“Oh yeah, he hasn’t changed much.” James replied. 

“So your Harry’s dad?” Ron asked. 

“I guess so, I’m from 1978 and I don’t have any children then so I guess not yet.” James replied. 

“That doesn’t make much sense does it?” Ron said. 

“It absolutely does not.” James said. They turned the corner and entered the hospital wing. 

“Hello Madam Pomfrey!” James said cheerfully. Madam Pomfrey turned around and dropped a potion bottle she was holding. 

“James Potter what in Merlin’s name are you doing here?” she asked. 

“Madam Pomfrey that is a story for another time because my dear friend Ron here seems to have gotten mauled by a dog in the woods.” James replied. 

“What?!?” Madam Pomfrey exclaimed. James floated Ron onto a bed so Madam Pomfrey could fix his leg. 

“Madam Pomfrey, he took the time turner from Mcgonagall’s office and used it. But he didn’t use it correctly.” The girl piped up. 

“Well then, Severus you better go get Minerva.” Madam Pomfrey said. Snape smirked. 

“Gladly.” he said as he walked out of the hospital wing. 

“Wait wait wait is getting Mcgonagall really necessary Madam Pomfrey? I mean, she’ll have my head!” James said. 

“Precisely Mr. Potter. You stole a highly dangerous magical object, it simply makes sense.” Madam Pomfrey replied. James sighed and sat down next to Ron in an uncomfortable hospital chair. Harry and the other girl sat on the other side of the bed. 

“Er..Hi.” Harry said. 

“Hi, I’m James, it’s nice to meet you.” James replied. 

“I know, it’s really weird meeting you since you're my dad, I’ve never met you before.” Harry said. 

“I know, I’m sorry about that.” James said. 

“It isn’t your fault.” the girl chimed in. She was about to speak again before they heard footsteps walking very fast into the ward. 

“Oh no.” James said quietly. 

“JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER!” Mcgonagall yelled, “What in Merlin’s name were you thinking stealing a time turner! I think that was the stupidest thing you have ever done! And believe me there were many contenders for that title. I haven’t seen you in 12 bloody years and this happens?! I believe you are the stupidest person to ever get good grades in the history of Hogwarts! Godric Gryffindor would be extremely disappointed.”

“I think if Godric Gryffindor was disappointed in me that’s a pretty cool achievement.” James said. 

“Get your arse back to the seventies Mr. Potter!” Mcgonagall snapped. She looked angry, but James could tell she was biting back a smile. 

“Ms. Granger,” Mcgonagall continued, “If you give the time turner back to Mr. Potter, it should reappear on your neck after he returns back to his timeline.”. Granger nodded and gave the time turner to James. James put the necklace around his neck and picked up the pendant. 

“I think it’s best if I do it.” Mcgonagall interrupted, raising her wand. 

“Right.” James replied, “Just one second, it was nice to meet all of you.” he said to Ron, Harry, and Granger. He didn’t know her first name. 

“It was nice to see you again Mr. Potter.” Mcgonagall said as she waved her wand. The time turner started spinning and James felt his surroundings spinning around him. When the world around him stopped spinning, he found himself back in the hospital wing, except it was empty.

Ron wasn’t there, Mcgonangall wasn’t there, Granger wasn’t there, and neither was his future son. This made James smile. He was going to marry Lily Evans. But soon that smile faded as he realized something. Peter is a traitor. James couldn’t be his friend anymore. He couldn’t risk it. James decided that he would return the time turner to Mcgonagall’s office, then go back to his dorm and tell Sirius and Remus what happened, then they would go from there. James walked out of the hospital wing and towards Mcgonagall’s office. He couldn’t believe what just happened.  _ “How could Pete be a traitor? He loves us. I guess it doesn’t matter now. Hopefully Remus and Sirius believe me. They have no reason not to. I just don’t know what we’re gonna do about Peter.”.  _ He turned the corner and came face to face with Mcgonagall’s office. 

“Alohomora.” James whispered. The lock quietly clicked and James crept inside the office. Mcgonagall wasn’t there, James guessed she was in her quarters. Still, he tiptoed across the room and gently placed the time turner on her desk where he found it. Then, he heard a voice behind him. 

“So you found the time turner, Mr. Potter?”. James whipped his head around to find Mcgonagall standing in the doorway.

“Oh, sorry Professor, I was just uh- well...I was-” James stuttered. 

“Now now Mr. Potter, what you're doing in my office after hours handling a time turner is none of my business, therefore I have no questions.” Mcgonagall said as she walked towards her desk.

“Really?” James asked, “You don’t have any questions?”. 

“Well I guess I just have one,” Mcgonagall replied, “Did you learn what you needed to learn?”. And it suddenly hit James. It was Mcgonagall. James smiled. 

“Yes, Professor.” James said. 

“Lovely.” she replied, “Now you best be off to bed before Filch decides to give you trouble.”. 

“Thank you, Professor.” James said as he walked out of the office. 

“Not at all.” she replied, and closed the door with a wave of her wand.


	4. The Bachelor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Sirius throws James a bachelor party.   
> CW: Drinking, Mention of War, Swearing

Sirius kicked open the front door of James’s house before marching into the living room. 

“PRONGS WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY” Sirius yelled. 

“It’s not an emergency Prongs, Pads just wants to talk to you!” Remus called. 

“How dare you Moony! This is an urgent matter!” Sirius said, turning to Remus. 

“Pads, you dying would be an emergency, not-” 

“Bloody hell what’s wrong?” James asked as he came down the stairs. He then turned to look at the front door. 

“Did you kick my fucking door in?!” James asked Sirius. 

“It’s ok Prongs,” Sirius said rolling his eyes, “It’s a simple fix.  _ Reparo _ .”. The crack in the door instantly mended and Sirius turned back to James. 

“Now, we have a very important matter to attend to.” Sirius said. 

“And what would that be, Pads?” James asked as he sat down on the couch. 

“Your bachelor party!” Sirius said as he walked towards the fireplace in front of James. 

“A bachelor party?” James asked. 

“It’s a muggle tradition I told him about.” Remus said, “Basically since you're engaged, we have a big party to kind of celebrate your last few weeks of not being married.” 

“Well that sounds like great fun!” James said, “I’ll tell Lily. Hey Lils come down here for a second!” James called. 

“Yes James I’m here now what are you two screaming about?” Lily asked as she came into the living room. 

“Can we do something called a bachelor party?” James asked. 

“You want to have a bachelor party?” Lily asked. 

“Ya!” James replied, “It’s like a big party where-”. 

“I know what a bachelor party is James,” Lily laughed, “But if you have a bachelor party then I’m having a bachelorette party.”. 

“Wait, they’re two separate parties?” James asked. 

“Yes.” Remus replied. 

“Why?” James asked. 

“Ah my dear James you ask too many questions.” Sirius replied, “Me, Remus, and Pete will take care of the whole thing, don’t you worry. Now, Lily can we get strippers?”. 

“What?!?” James exclaimed. Lily burst out laughing. 

“Like I said, you throw a party, I throw a party. Therefore, if you get strippers I see no problem with me getting strippers.” she replied. 

“So we can get strippers?” Sirius asked eagerly. 

“We are not getting strippers.” James said, “Also, Sirius your gay. Why would you want strippers?”. 

“Why not?” Sirius asked. 

“Well now that I’m throwing a bachelorette party I better go inform my bridesmaids.”, Lily said, “Have fun James!” 

“Wait Lily do not let Sirius do this, what if I end up hungover in a ditch somewhere?” James called. 

“Have fun, honey!” Lily said as she walked out the door. 

“Fuck.” James said, “Do not get strippers. I am happily engaged.” 

“Ok ok fine, no strippers.” Sirius said, “Now come on Remus, we have a party to plan!”. 

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t plan anything insane.”, Remus assured James as he was pulled into the kitchen by Sirius. 

_ 2 hours later _

“James get your shit we’re leaving!” Sirius yelled. 

“What are you talking about?” James asked as he walked into the kitchen. 

“We’ve got a plan!” Sirius said, “We’re leaving in ten minutes.”. 

“What? Where are we going?” James asked. 

“It’s a surprise Prongsy!”, Sirius replied. He was practically jumping up and down. 

“Trust me, it’s his most tame idea.” Remus said. James sighed. 

“Alright, let me just tell Lily. Hey Lily we’re leaving!” James called. 

“Where are you going?” Lily called back from upstairs. 

“I have no idea! Ask Sirius.” James replied. The three of them heard footsteps coming downstairs and towards the kitchen. 

“Sirius where are you taking my fiance?” Lily asked as she walked into the kitchen. 

Sirius smiled and walked over to Lily and whispered something in her ear. Lily laughed. 

“Alright but be safe! I don’t want anyone to end up dead or injured.” she pointed a finger at all of them before walking out of the kitchen again. 

“Oh by the way I’m having my party on the fifth!” Lily called back to the three of them. James sighed. 

“Alright, how are we getting to this secret location?” James asked the other two. 

“We’re going to apparate. You can do a side along with me and we’ll just pray Remus knows where to apparate to.” Sirius replied. 

“Aw, you're so loving babe, you know that?” Remus replied sarcastically. 

“Wait a minute, where’s Pete?”, James asked. 

“Oh we owled but he said he had a mission from the order.” Remus replied. 

“Oh, that’s a shame.” James said. 

“Yes it is, but honestly I don’t know if Pete would survive if we brought him.” said Sirius. 

“Don’t think about it too much.” Sirius said as he grabbed James’s forearm, “Ready Remus?”. 

“Yep.” Remus replied, And with that Sirius apparated away with James. The two of them found themselves in an alleyway that was littered with empty cardboard boxes and trash bins. 

“Sirius, where are we?” James asked, “And where’s Remus?”. Just then they heard the snap of someone apparating above them, followed by a scream. They quickly turned around to find Remus falling straight into a trash can. James and Sirius saved no time falling to the ground in fits of laughter. By the time Remus got out of the trash can both of them had the hiccups. 

“You're a bunch of arseholes, you know that?” Remus muttered as he dusted off his jacket. 

“Oh come on, Moony. That was hilarious!” James said, still wheezing. 

“I’m gonna tear you to bits the next full moon.” Remus said. 

“I’m trembling with fear.” James replied, “Now where the bloody hell are we, Sirius?”. 

“Come and see!” Sirius said as he walked out of the ally. Remus smiled and followed Sirius out of the alley. James smiled too, he would never get over how cute of a couple they were. James made it out of the alley to find himself on a street covered with blinking neon signs illuminating their surroundings. James closed his eyes. 

“Pads, this place is going to give me a seizure.” James said. 

“Oh stop being such a drama queen and open your eyes.” Remus said. James opened his eyes slowly and looked around at all the signs. He didn’t recognize any of them except one. It was a big sign held up by two pillars that said “Dunes”. 

“Oh no. Please don’t tell me we’re-”, 

“VEGAS BABY” Sirius exclaimed. 

“Sirius, in what world did you think was a good idea?” James asked. 

“Why not?” Sirius replied. 

“Well because we have no idea where to go! We’re in an entirely different country!” James said. 

“It’s ok Prongs, that’s why we have this trusty dusty map with us.” Remus said, pulling a map out of his pocket. James sighed.

“If you insist.” he said. 

“Let’s go bitch!” Sirius said as he started walking down the sidewalk. 

“What  _ do  _ you see in him may I ask?” James whispered to Remus.

“I honestly have no idea.” Remus replied. 

Sirius led them down the brightly colored streets of the strange city. James was in awe. He had to admit, he liked the environment here. The passersby laughing and probably drunk, the bright neon signs illuminating the establishments, and the sound of faint music from every building. After a couple blocks of walking Sirius stopped in front of one of the buildings that looked exactly like the others, but just a slightly different name and tone. 

“Sirius where are we?” James asked. 

“Muggles just call them clubs. They’re pubs with music and a dance floor.” Sirius replied. 

“Sounds fun!” James said. 

“Precisely, Prongs! Now, on we go.” Sirius said as he led the other two to the entrance. There they met a rather large man in a black suit looking like he would kick their arse at any moment. 

“Hello!” Sirius told the man cheerfully, “May we enter this fine establishment?”. 

“I.D.” was all the man said gruffly. 

“But of course good sir!” Sirius replied, and reached into his pocket. James heard Remus stifle a chuckle. Sure, Sirius’s antics were overdramatic, but there was no denying he was a funny guy. 

Then, James saw Sirius pull out his wand and mutter a confundus charm. The man blinked a couple times and then opened the door with no emotion on his face. 

“In we go!” Sirius declared as he walked into the building. James frantically walked into the building behind Sirius, Remus following behind him. 

“Are you insane, Padfoot?!” James exclaimed. 

“I might be.” Sirius said in a deadpan voice. 

“You could have been caught! And using magic on a muggle?!” James replied. 

“What do you say we all get drunk and forget how to even use our wands?” Remus interjected. 

“Brilliant idea, Moony!” Sirius said. The three of them waded through the sea of people to the bar and Sirius ordered drinks from the bartender. 

“I can barely hear anything!” James yelled at Remus, he had to raise his voice due to the music playing so loud. 

“James, this is what muggles do when they’re our age!” Remus called back. 

“Really? It seems so impractical, but I suppose I can see the appeal.” James said. 

“SHOTS BITCHES!” Sirius said as he balanced three very small plastic cups with a very questionable substance in it. 

“Pads what is that?” Remus asked. 

“I have absolutely no idea.” Sirius replied as he passed out the small cups to the other two. 

“Ok, Sirius I don’t know if this isn’t poison.” James said as he looked at the liquid suspiciously. 

“Ok guys can we just forget about being adults for like a night?? The whole war thing is really stressful on everybody, and everyone else that isn’t a wizard just gets to be immature at our age. I mean, for once I’m actually jealous of muggles. So can we please just forget about being responsible and just be stupid?” Sirius exclaimed. James and Remus just stared at him. Then James looked at Remus and Remus looked back at James. Remus gave a little shrug and James turned back to Sirius. 

“I guess we’re gonna fuck shit up.” James said. 

“Yes!” Sirius exclaimed, “Bottoms up boys!”. Sirius held up his glass and the other boys followed suit. James quickly swallowed the shot and grimaced. 

“Sirius I’m pretty sure that this is pure gasoline.” Remus said. 

“Well it gets you fucked up, another round?” Sirius replied. 

“Why not!” James replied. Sirius smiled and went back to the crowded bar. Remus gave James a confused look. 

“What? It’s a bachelor party right?” James said. Remus laughed. 

“I suppose you're right.” Remus replied. Sirius came back to the other two and handed them another cup of disgusting liquor that was basically rubbing alcohol. 

“Bottoms up, boys!” James said as he knocked back the shot. 

“I take it back. That’s not gasoline, that's piss.” Remus said. 

“Oh shush you. Shall we dance?” Sirius said. 

“Not a chance.” Remus said. 

“I’m gonna need more of that borderline poison.” James said. Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, but you two are coming to the bar with me this time.” Sirius said as he started to walk towards the bar. 

_ 7 shots later _

“REMUS WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?” Sirius yelled across the club. He already lost James, he could not lose his boyfriend too. He scanned the big room but found no use in trying to distinguish Remus from the hundreds of bobbing heads. He was just about to consider trying to accio him with his wand before he heard cheers from near the stage. He whipped his head around to see what was happening. 

“Oh no.” Sirius said to himself. There he saw Remus Lupin, one of the smartest people he knows, the love of his life, the bravest man he ever met, giving a lap dance to a dancer on the stage at the front of the club. Sirius shoved his way past the people in the overly crowded room. When he made it to the front he saw James on the ground laughing his arse off. Sirius kneeled down in front of James. 

“Prongs what the hell happened?!” Sirius practically yelled at James. 

“I...I bet him..a hundred galleons th-that he wouldn’t...give a lap d-dance..t-to the dancers...a-and he did!” James said. He could barely get out a sentence with how drunk and stupid he was. 

“Good Merlin!” Sirius said. He pulled out his wand and muttered the accio charm, pointing his wand at Remus. Remus was instantly pulled off the stage and tumbled to the floor right next to James. They were both rolling around on the disgusting floor from laughter. 

“You...o-owe me...one hundred g-galleons!” James said. 

“I-I...know!” Remus said. 

“Jesus fuck you guys! I can’t take care of both of you right now! I literally drank as much as you, how are you this drunk?” But at this point James and Remus couldn’t speak. Sirius sighed and looked around. Everyone seemed to be invested in the stage in front of them. And if they did see them, they couldn’t prove anything. Sirius grabbed James’s and Remus’s shoulders and apparated back to the alley they arrived in. Sirius felt his stomach turn and he grabbed onto the side of the nearest wall to steady himself. When he looked up Remus and James were puking their guts out into the trash can surrounding them. Sirius sighed and sat down on the pavement to wait for the other two to stop vomiting. After a couple minutes James spit into the trash can and leaned against the wall opposite Sirius. 

“Feel better?” Sirius said. Sirius tilted his head slightly. The world seemed to have tilted to a 45 degree angle. 

“A little.” James said. 

“We need to get out of here, there’s too many lights.” Sirius said. The two of them heard a light thump next to them. 

“Owwwww…” Remus groaned, “Why is the cement so fucking hard?”. 

“We can’t apparate while drunk, we’ll get splinched. It’s a miracle we didn’t a couple minutes ago.” James said. 

“How are you forming sensible words right now?” Sirius asked.

“I have no idea, mate.” James replied. 

“Ok, I’m sure we can find a hotel for the night, sleep off whatever the fuck it was that we drank, and then apparate tomorrow morning.” Sirius said. 

“Ya...ya I think we can do that, but how are we gonna find a hotel? Remus lost the map.” James said. 

“Well shit.” Sirius replied, “I guess we just walk until we find one or a way to find one.”. James sighed. 

“Ok, we can do this, right?” he asked. 

“Please Prongs, we’ve accomplished feats way harder.” Sirius replied. 

James smiled and hoisted himself up. 

“Come on Moony, we gotta go.” James said, nudging Remus. 

“Existence is a prison and we are all prisoners.” Remus responded. 

“Yes yes we’re all gonna die and nothing matters it's tragic moony, truly, But right now we need to get out of this shitty alley, what do you say?” Sirius asked. Remus paused for a second and contemplated what the other two were suggesting.

“Ya ok.” Remus said, “But when we get home I’m gonna have an existential crisis.”.

“Sounds like great fun, Moony, now come on.” Sirius said and offered a hand to help Remus up. Remus took his hand and struggled to his feet. The three of them must’ve looked crazy, given

that none of them could walk in a straight line. Apparently this small little detail didn’t go unnoticed by American law enforcement. As they were trying to get to anywhere but the brightly colored streets, a small motorcycle with a man in a police officer’s uniform riding it pulled over and approached the three marauders. 

“Good evening.” he said in his very strange American accent. 

“Good eve-” Sirius started, 

“GOOD EVENING GOOD SIR, MIGHT I INTEREST YOU IN SOME GOLDEN GALLEONS” Remus screamed at the police officer. 

“Shit.” James muttered. 

“Are you three intoxicated?” the officer asked. 

“Absolutely not, sir.” Sirius replied. 

“I’m gonna have to give you a breathalyzer test.” the officer said as he walked back to his motorcycle. 

“What the fuck is a breathalyzer” Sirius whispered urgently to James. 

“I have no idea!” James replied. 

“It's a device to see if we’re drunk, idiots.” Remus said, “If we’re drunk he’ll probably arrest us.”. 

“Remus we are drunk! Especially you!” Sirius said. 

“Oh right!” Remus replied before dissolving into a fit of giggles. 

“We’re getting arrested.” James said in a deadpan tone. Just then the officer came back over with a small device that looked kind of like a thermometer. 

“All three of you breathe into that.” the officer said. After all three of them took the breathalyzer test the officer sighed. 

“All three of you are intoxicated, I’m gonna have to take you to the station, I’m gonna go call a car to come.” the officer said before walking back to his motorcycle. 

“What just happened?” Remus asked. 

“We just got arrested.” Sirius replied. 

“OH SHIT!” Remus screamed before taking off down the sidewalk. 

“Remus what the fuck!!” James yelled. 

“Hey! Get back here!!” the officer yelled before taking off after Remus. Thankfully, Remus didn’t get very far because he could barely walk. And that’s how Remus ended up handcuffed to a bike rack. After the cop car came the boys piled in and were driven to a dinky police station a couple blocks away. 

“You’ll need to call someone to get you.” the officer said as he pointed to the phone box. 

“Right, who do we call?” Sirius said, not asking anyone in particular. 

“Oh!” James exclaimed, “Lily insisted we get a home phone when we moved in together! For emergencies!”. 

“Brilliant!” Sirius said, “What’s the number?”. 

“Hang on.” James said. He sat down on one of the plastic seats and took off his shoes. 

“Prongs what do your shoes have to do with this?” Sirius asked. 

“Just hang on a second!” James replied. He took out a small card from the sole of his shoes and stumbled over to the phone box. He saw the other two boys staring at him expectantly. James sighed. 

“Lily made me keep it in my shoe in case I lost it.” he said. 

“Well you wouldn’t remember on your own. Like, not in a million years.” Remus said. James flipped off Remus and started dialing the phone number. 

“Lily, is that you?......So….funny story…...we kind of got arrested…….we were intoxicated in the streets……...yes very much so……...we need you to come get us……….because we’ll get splinched…….we can’t leave unless someone gets us…….yes we know…….thank you so much Lils, your the best! Hey-” The two other heard the dial tone. 

“Well she’s slightly annoyed.” James said

“Slightly?!” Remus said, “You just called your fiance to apparate internationally to come get you because you got drunk in Las Vegas.”

“I’m aware Remus, thank you for the update.” James said sarcastically. After about ten minutes the boys saw Lily and Mary walk into the police station to check them out. The girls walked over to the waiting room and saw Remus playing rock paper scissors with Sirius and James reading a Cosmo magazine. 

“James what the hell are you reading?” Lily asked. James dropped the magazine and immediately stood up and walked over to Lily. 

“I am so so sorry Lils.” James said. Lily didn’t say anything. 

“Listen I know what it looks like but if you just let me explain-” 

“Oh please explain James, I would love to hear how you guys got here. Be as detailed as possible.” Mary interrupted. 

“Well after we apparated here we went to some party room called a club and Sirius gave us alcohol that either tasted like gas or piss. I can’t remember-” 

“It was piss!” Remus interrupted. 

“Right, piss. So anyway then Remus and I went to the front where there was a band and backup dancers. And we’re really drunk so I bet Remus 100 galleons he wouldn’t give a lap dance to one of the dancers, so he did and-” 

“You still owe me money, Prongs!” Remus interrupted. James just sighed. 

“So then Sirius came and apparated us out of there, and then we threw up in trash cans and then we got caught by some American cops and then Remus tried to outrun the law and now we’re here.” James finished. Lily still didn’t say anything . 

“Please say something, Lils.” James asked. Then Mary burst out laughing, and a couple seconds later Lily followed suit. James was really confused. 

“Are you mad?” he asked. Lily caught her breath. 

“Not anymore. That was the funniest thing I’ve heard in awhile! Come on, let’s get you idiots home, and you owe me.” Lily said. 

“We’re getting strippers for her bachelorette party!” Mary said. James sighed.

“Don’t worry, James. I still love you.” Lily said. 

“I’m never letting Sirius plan a party ever again.” James said. 

  



	5. I'm a Potter, bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Sirius moves into the Potter's house right before their sixth year kicks off, and James and Sirius run into some trouble on the train platform.   
> CW: Abuse, injury, and swearing

**1976, August 29, 1:00 am**

James sat on his bed flipping through an old copy of  _ Quidditch Weekly.  _ He flipped through the pages half heartedly as the rain pounded on his window. There was a big storm tonight, but James didn’t mind, the sound of rain comforted him. He finished flipping through the magazine and was just about to resign to doing his summer homework when he heard a pounding on his front door. James jumped off his bed and walked towards the door. His parents were asleep, so they weren’t going to answer it. As he walked down the hall he thought about who could be at the door. The list wasn’t very long, but James went through the possibilities anyway. He made it to the front door and waved his hand to unlock it. As the door opened, James’s face fell. 

“Oh my god.” he muttered. Right outside his house stood Sirius Black. There was a tear in his robe, and a huge, bleeding cut on his forehead. He was as pale as a ghost and swaying. He looked like he was barely conscious. James had no idea how he was standing. 

“Pads, what the hell happened?” James asked. 

“I-I...I got hurt….I’m sorry to impose...I-I just-” 

“Come in, you’ll freeze to death.” James said as he ushered Sirius into the living room. 

“Mom, Dad! It’s Sirius!” James called as he sat down on the couch with Sirius. 

“Now Sirius, can you tell me what happened?” James asked. 

“We got in-in a fight.” Sirius replied. 

“Who got in a fight?” 

“Me-me and my parents. I wouldn’t do it, Prongs. I wouldn’t let them do it.” 

“Do what, Pads?” 

“Get the mark. I wouldn’t do i-it.”

“They tried to give you the dark mark?” 

“Y-yes, but I wouldn’t l-let t-them.” 

“What did they do?” 

“T-they h-hurt m-me. R-really bad.”. James could have cried right then. The fact that this was happening to his best friend broke his heart. He didn’t deserve this. 

“What’s going on?” Euphemia asked as she walked down the stairs. She saw the state Sirius was in and her face went white. 

“Dear, what happened?” She asked as she knelt in front of Sirius. 

“His family tried to give him the mark but he refused.” James said, not wanting to make Sirius explain it again. 

“Ok dear, can you tell me what they did, that way I can give you some medication.” Euphemia said. 

“I-I, uh, t-they used d-diffindo.” Sirius pointed to the cut on his forehead, “A-and t-then they u-used t-the crucio c-curse.”. Sirius was shaking at this point. James saw tears prick his mother’s eyes. He knew this was heartbreaking for her too. 

“Alright dear. I’m going to get you some murtlap essence for that cut, ok?” Euphemia said as she stood up. 

“Stay here, James.” Fleamont said as he went with his wife to the other room. James took a deep breath. 

“You're gonna be ok, Pads. You won’t have to go back there ever again.” 

“T-thank you.” Sirius replied, “I-I'm just scared.” 

“What are you scared of, Pads?”. Just then Euphemia came in with some murtlap essence. 

“Alright dear, this will help that cut, but it’ll leave a scar I’m afraid.” Euphemia said. She took a dollop of the cream and applied it to the cut on Sirius’s forehead. The cut almost instantly stopped bleeding and left a reddish pink scar. Sirius reached up to feel the mended cut. 

“T-thank you.” Sirius said. 

“Alright, what do you say we try to get some sleep?” Euphemia asked. Sirius nodded and the four of them went back upstairs. Sirius showered and borrowed some clothes from James. Sirius took the guest room right next to James’s room for the night. 

“I’ll be right next door if you need anything, alright Pads?” James said. Sirius nodded. 

“Thank you, Prongs. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” 

“Your always welcome here, Sirius.” James said. Sirius smiled weakly. 

“Goodnight, Prongs.” 

“Goodnight, Padfoot.”. 

**\----------------------------**

James awoke to a sort of screaming from the room next to his. At first he just rolled over hoping it would stop soon so he could go back to sleep. Until he realised who was sleeping in the other room. He jolted awake and grabbed his wand from his nightstand. He ran out of his room and burst into the guest bedroom next to his. 

“Sirius!” James yelled. Sirius jolted awake. He was pale and out of breath. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry. I woke you didn’t I?” Sirius said. 

“It’s ok, Pads. Really. What happened?” James asked. 

“I just had a nightmare.” Sirius replied, “I’m sorry I woke you. You can go back to sleep, I’m ok.”. James shrugged. 

“Ok.” James walked towards Sirius’s bed and sat down. 

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked. 

“Making sure you don’t have another terrible nightmare.” James replied. 

“Prongs you really don’t have to-” 

“Sirius. I’m staying here.” James said. Sirius hesitated for a second before speaking. 

“Ok.” he said quietly. 

“Do you want to tell me about the dream?” James asked. Sirius paused again. 

“Sure. I was...um… back at Grimmauld Place. My father had me restrained in the wine cellar and was about to give me the dark mark. I tried to move but I couldn’t. He just kept walking towards me with his wand drawn. Then he took my arm and started to give me the mark. It felt like my arm was on fire, so I started screaming. And that’s when you woke me up.”. 

“Oh god, Pads. I’m so sorry.” James said. 

“It’s ok Prongs. It’s not your fault. I’m just glad I’m not there anymore.” 

“You're safe now, Pads. It’s ok”. Sirius frowned at that. 

“What’s wrong?” James asked. 

“It’s just that….Regulus is still there. I just don’t want him to get hurt.” 

“I know, Sirius. If you ever notice that he might be hurt, you tell me and we’ll make sure he’s ok.” Sirius smiled at that. 

“Thank you, Prongs. I can’t thank you enough.”. Then James smiled. 

“Anytime.”. The two boys talked about stupid things to take their minds off of all the sad and dark stuff. Because who wants to talk about dark stuff. Eventually they both drifted off to sleep, and Sirius slept nightmare-free. 

**1976, August 29, 12:00 pm**

James woke up first. He groaned and rolled over to look at the clock. His eyes widened and he went to wake up Sirius. 

“Sirius, wake up. It’s really late.” Sirius slowly opened his eyes and sat up. 

“Morning.” he said. 

“Morning.” James replied. They both got out of bed and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. 

There, Euphemia was cooking something. Whenever Sirius was there she was always cooking.

“Good morning, mum.” James said as he walked into the kitchen. 

“Morning, boys. Do you want some sandwiches?” Euphemia asked. 

“Sounds good, Sirius?” James turned to Sirius. 

“Sounds great, thank you, Mrs. Potter.” Sirius said. The boys sat at the table and talked while eating. They were having a pretty good time. Until it was interrupted. A big, black owl came swooping in and landing gracefully on the kitchen table. Sirius couldn’t mistake that owl for anyone else’s. Even worse, the owl was carrying a big red envelope with the mark of a howler on the front. 

“Oh my god.” James said, “Mum, is there anyway to get rid of howlers?”. 

“No, no I wanna open it. I want to know what they want to say to me.”, Sirius said. He took the letter from the owl and it instantly flew back out the window. 

“They don’t want a response.” Sirius stated. He carefully opened the envelope and, almost instantly, out boomed the voice of Orion Black. 

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK. HOW DARE YOU BRING SUCH SHAME TO THE BLACK NAME. YOU FILTHY MUGGLE-LOVING SCUM. WE HAVE ALREADY BURNED YOUR NAME OFF OF THE FAMILY TAPESTRY. COME BACK HERE AND GET YOUR THINGS. WE DON’T WANT YOUR DISGUSTING POSSESSIONS HERE ANYMORE. IF YOU DO NOT GET THEM BY 5 PM TODAY THEY. WILL. BE. BURNED. AFTER THAT YOU WILL NEVER SET FOOT IN THIS HOUSE EVER AGAIN. YOU FILTHY FILTHY BLOOD TRAITOR.”. The Howler then tore itself to shreds on the table and the three of them were left in silence. After a few moments, Sirius started laughing. Lightly at first but soon he was cracking up. James saw his friend laughing and decided to laugh with him. After a while the two boys were tearing up from laughter. Euphemia sighed. 

“You boys are ridiculous sometimes. Sirius, we’ll send our house elf to get your things. Sound good, love?”. Sirius smiled. 

“That sounds great. Thank you, Mrs. Potter.” Sirius replied. 

“Of course, dear.” Euphemia said as she left the kitchen, presumably to inform the house elf of their task. 

“Are you excited to go back to school?” James asked Sirius. Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“Obviously. I can’t wait to see everyone again. It’s going to be a great year.”. James smiled at his friend's response. He looked so much better than the night before. 

“Up for a game of Quidditch?” James asked. Sirius smiled. 

“Totally.” The two boys spent the next couple hours racing around on brooms and scoring goals. Euphemia had to call them in because she didn’t want them flying in the dark. They came into the house sweating and out of breath. 

“Wow, you boys really got a work out in didn’t you?” Euphemia laughed. 

“Ya...I guess we did.” James said. 

“Why don’t you boys go take showers and then we’ll eat dinner.” Euphemia said on her way to the kitchen. 

“Sounds good, mum.” James said as he and Sirius made their way upstairs. When Sirius went to the guest bed he was staying in, he saw most of his things tucked away in suitcases, but some of his things were in the dresser to the left of the bed. And above his bed hung his big gryffindor flag, prominent and proud. Not hanging in his closet so that his parents didn’t see it. 

“Ah, I see you're settling in.” James said. Sirius turned around to see James standing in the doorway. 

“Oh I was just-” 

“I think it looks good.” James said, “Welcome home, Pads.”. And with that James left to go take a shower. Sirius looked back at his room. He felt tears in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away. He was home. 

**1976, September 1st, 9:00 am**

Sirius and James spent the next two days getting ready to go to Hogwarts. They packed up their rooms, listened to a little music, and had a cram session for all of their summer homework. And the day finally came for them to go to Hogwarts. As excited as they were, it was very hard to get James and Sirius out of bed. Eventually Fleamont had to blow a muggle air horn to wake them up. James and Sirius finally dragged themselves out of bed and took their luggage to the front porch of their house.

“Are you ready, boys?” Fleamont asked as he and Euphemia walked out of the house. 

“Yep.” Sirius responded groggily. 

“Lovely, Fleamont could you call the bus?” Euphemia asked. 

“Of course.” Fleamont replied. He then put his pinkies in his mouth and made a whistling sound. Just then, a blue, triple decker bus came speeding down the street and stopped right in front of their house. 

“Woah. I’ve never been on the knight but before.” Sirius said as he walked down to the bus. 

“Trust me mate, it’s really fun. The four of them walked down to the bus where a tall, lanky guy stepped out of the bus and onto the sidewalk. He couldn’t have been older than 20, and had hazel brown hair. He kind of reminded Sirius of Remus, but Remus was a lot better looking than him. Sirius came to find out that the man’s name was Stan Shunpike and he would be his conductor for this morning. The four of them piled onto the bus and Sirius and James set their luggage down on one of the beds. As Fleamont climbed into the bus, he uttered some securing charms onto Sirius and James’s luggage. Sirius gave Fleamont a confused look. 

“Trust me.” Fleamont said with a smile. Sirius smiled back. 

“Where to?” Stan asked. 

“Kings cross, please.” Euphemia replied. Sirius heard a head say something in gibberish and then they were off. Sirius quickly realised why Fleamont secured their luggage. As soon as the bus started Sirius jolted forward and face planted on the ground. When he got up he saw James just laughing his arse off. 

“Oh shut up, mate.” Sirius said, but he was laughing too. The rest of the ride was bumpy, but Sirius made sure to grip the pole next to him so that he didn’t fall again. When they made it to King’s Cross the four of them quickly started for Platform 9 ¾. When they got to the pillar, Fleamont and Euphemia stopped. 

“Boys, we have a meeting at the ministry we’re already late for, will you guys be fine on your own?” Euphemia asked. 

“Oh ya, mum. We’ll be fine.” James said. Euphemia and Fleamont both gave James and Sirius a hug. Sirius found this comforting. His real parents never hugged him. After their parents left, James looked around to see if any muggles were watching. 

“Ready, mate?” James asked. 

“Whenever you are.” Sirius said back. James smiled and started towards the pillar, Sirius right behind him. When they made it to the other side, they saw the huge majestic Hogwarts Express, along with all of the families with their children boarding. 

“Should we try to find Remus and Pete first? We have some time.” James asked. 

“Ya, sounds good.” Sirius responded. While they were walking through the station, Sirius heard a voice that was all too familiar. Orion Black.

“Ah, Sirius. I see you’ve taken to a muggle-loving family. I’m not saying I’m surprised, but-”, 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” James started, “ We actually don’t associate ourselves with ignorant pieces on shit. I’m going to have to ask you to kindly fuck off.” James said, taking a step forward to face Orion. Sirius stifled a chuckle from behind James. 

“How dare you, boy?!?” Orion boomed. People started to turn their head to see what was going on, but James didn’t seem to care. He had a huge smirk plastered on his face. 

“You will treat me with respect,” Orion continued, “for I am a Black.”. James’s smirk widened. 

“And I’m a Potter, bitch.”. And with that James cocked his fist and punched Orion as hard as he could. 

“Holy shit!” Sirius exclaimed. James turned around to face Sirius. 

“Go go go go go go!” James said laughing. The boys quickly picked up their luggage and raced to the entrance of the train while Orion shouted profanities and insults at them, but the boys didn’t care. They climbed onto the train and saw Peter sitting in one of the first compartments. The two boys burst in laughing hysterically. They put their luggage on the top rack while Peter asked why they were laughing so hard. 

“James punched Orion...it was awesome!” Sirius said in between giggles. 

“Did you really?” Peter asked, eyes full of adoration. 

“Yep.” James said, leaning back in his seat. Just then, Remus came into their compartment. 

“James, did you just punch Sirius’s father?” Remus asked. James took a deep breath, expecting a lecture about how utterly stupid he was. 

“Yes, but-” 

“Nice job, man!” Remus laughed,“The bitch got what he deserved.”. Sirius laughed along with his friends. His brother was a badass. 


	6. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: After The Prank, James finds the room of requirement and uses it to think things through, but he finds more than just the room on requirement.   
> CW: Swearing  
> A/N: Jegulus fic <3

“So it would be a beagle to a parrot? Pete asked. James sighed. 

“No, Wormtail. It’s beagle to a badger.” James replied. 

“Ohhhh, that makes more sense.” Pete said. James rolled his eyes. Sometimes Pete was just plain stupid. 

“Hey, how long until we should go down to the shack?” Pete asked as he put his homework away. James looked at the clock. It was about 5:45 pm. 

“We should probably start getting ready to go now, find Sirius and all that.” James replied. 

“Alright.” Peter said. The two of them packed up their bags and walked out of the library. They had become Animgi 7 months ago, and this was the sixth month that they were joining Remus for the full moons. Becoming an Animagus had been extremely difficult, but it was one of the best things James had ever done, and the full moon nights had been a blast. Scouring the grounds, chasing Remus through the forbidden forest. James was really proud of himself. And of course Peter and Sirius. 

“Any idea where Sirius might be?” James asked. 

“I think he’s in the dorm.” Peter said. They made their way down the halls and to the moving staircases. 

“You remember the  _ Arresto Momentum _ charm right?” Peter asked nervously. 

“Yes, I remember.” James replied as he started walking up the staircases. They made their way up three of the staircases before one started moving. Peter gripped the railing so hard his knuckles turned white. James slowly pulled his wand out of his pocket. He knew it was probably mean, but he couldn’t resist messing with Peter a little bit. He pointed his wand at the stairs and wordlessly jerked the stair back the other way. Peter let out a high-pitched scream and let go of the railing, causing him to fall back on his arse. James started laughing hysterically at his very well thought out prank. Peter didn’t find it that funny. 

“Not funny, mate.” Pete said, crossing his arms still on the floor. 

“Ok, ok I’m sorry.” James said, he stopped laughing so hard and offered a hand to help Peter up. Peter accepted his hand and the two made their way up the rest of the stairs without any trouble. They made it to the Gryffindor Tower and climbed up the stairs to their room. When they entered, they saw Sirius dressed and ready to go, sitting on his bed. 

“Boys, you will never believe the prank I just pulled.” Sirius said proudly, standing up and walking over to Peter and James. 

“Alright well walk and talk, Sirius, we gotta go soon.” James said as he walked over to his trunk to get his invisibility cloak.” 

“Well, Snivelly came up to me today, and said he was suspicious of Remus, so-” 

“Oh god, Sirius. You didn’t do something deadly, did you?” James interrupted. Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“No, Prongs. I did not. So anyway, I told Snivelly, ‘Well if you want to know so bad, go find out yourself’ and so I told him to to get to the shack and-” 

“You what?!?!” James exclaimed, walking over to Sirius. 

“Hey, calm down.” Sirius said, “I told him how to get into the Shrieking Shack and to go there tonight. He’ll have a good scare and then never question us again. I mean he was being a real arsehole to Remus earlier so-”. 

“How fucking stupid are you?!” James yelled. 

“What do you mean? I’m not stupid. It was just a pr-” 

“Ya and that prank is going to get someone killed.” James said before running out of the dorm. He was halfway across the common room when he heard Peter calling him. 

“James, where are you going?” Peter asked. James turned around to see Peter and Sirius following him. 

“Peter, go tell Mcgonagall what’s happening, and Sirius you can go with him and tell her all about your epic prank.” James said, before turning back around and rushing out of the common room. James practically jumped down all of the moving stairs before sprinting down the halls towards the outer grounds. Just then a Ravenclaw prefect on duty came around the corner. 

“Hey! No running!” he said as James ran past him. 

“Bite me!” James called back as ran. 

“ _ Immobulus!”,  _ the prefect shouted, casting the curse at James, but James was quicker. He pulled out his wand and deflected the curse, leaving the prefect floating slowly down the hallway. 

“Fucking Ravenclaws.” James muttered as he ran out of the castle and towards the whomping willow. The tree branches were suspended in mid air, and there was a branch on the knot that froze the branches. Snape was already there. 

“Fuck.” James muttered as he ran faster towards the tree. Thank Merlin for Quidditch. James made it to the base of the tree and crawled through the hole down the tunnel. James ran down the tunnel out of breath, using his wand to illuminate his path. When he made it to the end, the trap door was locked. James sighed and pointed his wand at the door. 

“ _ Reducto!” _ , and with that the door came flying off, leaving a hole above James’s head. He used his arms to hoist himself up into the dingy house. James looked around for a few seconds before hearing a growling upstairs, followed by a thump. James rushed up the stairs and burst into the bedroom. There he saw Snape on the ground, pointing his wand at Remus in werewolf for. His face was white and his hands were shaking. James pulled out his wand and pointed it at Remus. 

“ _ Stupefy!”  _ he yelled. It killed him to hurt Remus, but he didn’t really have a choice. He grabbed Snape by the arm and pulled him out of the room. They both ran down the stairs towards. James heard a loud growling behind them and saw the wolf coming out of the bedroom. James wordlessly threw a spell at the wolf, causing him to fly back into the bedroom. James pushed Snape into the tunnel and grabbed the trapdoor from the floor next to him. He jumped into the tunnel and aligned the door with the hinges on the floor. 

“ _ Reparo.” _ James said, and the trapdoor mended itself. Just then they heard the wolf banging and scratching on the door, but he couldn’t get through. James bent forward and put his hands on his knees to catch his breath. There was still a huge deal of adrenaline rushing through him. He stood up straight and turned to Snape, who was also out of breath. 

“Are you ok?” James asked. 

“Shut up.” Snape muttered, he turned around and started to walk down the tunnel. 

“Um, how about a thank you?” James said. 

“Like I would ever thank you.” 

“You kind of owe me.” 

“I was fine.” 

“You were on the ground trembling like a child.”

“No I wasn’t!” 

“If you insist.” 

“I do, I can’t believe they let that bloody monster go to school here. It’s uncivilized.” 

“You better watch it Snivelly, or I’ll make arrangements for you to be bitten by  _ him. _ ”. And with that Snape shut up for the rest of the walk. James climbed out of the tunnel first, where he was greeted by Dumbledore, Mcgonagal, and Sirius, who was cowering behind the professors. James immediately started towards Sirius. 

“Are you goddamn kidding me, Sirius? Snape could’ve been killed. I could have been killed.” 

“Mr. Potter-” Mcgonangal interrupted, but James didn’t seem to acknowledge her. 

“I mean honestly this is probably the shittiest thing you’ve done.” 

“Mr. Potter!” 

“I mean you just exploited Remus without even thinking about it, do you even have a brain you ignorant piece of-”

“MR. POTTER!”. James finally acknowledged Mcgonangal and turned to face her instead of Sirius. 

“Now I understand the severity of this matter, but do stop throwing insults at another student in front of two teachers.” 

“Yes, Professor.” James mumbled. Just then, Snape decided to speak up against Remus.

“Professor, I would just like to say that you letting that…. thing into the school is dangerous to the other students at this school. I mean, who would let a monster like that-”. 

“What did you just call him?!” Sirius yelled, walking towards Snape, but before he could do anything James stuck his arm out across his chest. 

“Easy, easy!” James said, but Sirius kept persisting. 

“Sirius, you have done enough damage!” James snapped. Sirius stopped trying to get to Snape and stared at James. 

“Enough! Now, I think it’s best if we have a meeting with all three of you.” Mcgonagal stated. Sirius stopped looking at James and looked back down at his feet. The five of them made their way back to the castle. James was staring daggers at Sirius, Snape was staring daggers at Sirius and James, and Sirius had his head hung. James met with Dumbledore and Mcgonagal first.

“Can you tell us what happened, Mr. Potter?” Dumbledore asked calmly. James fidgeted in his seat a bit. 

“Well, Remus had already told us he was a werewolf, so we knew, but we didn’t care. And apparently Snape had been stalking Remus and had suspicions about him being a werewolf. So Snape asked Sirius about where Remus went every month, and I suppose Snape was annoying Sirius, so Sirius told Snape about the shack. And told him how to get down there. Which is completely stupid and unfunny, so I went to get him.” James explained. Mcgonagal sighed. 

“Thank you, Mr. Potter, you might’ve just saved Snape’s life tonight. You are free to go back to your dorm.” Mcgonagal said. James thanked the two professors and got up to leave.

“Oh and Mr. Potter, please tell Mr. Snape that we need to see him next.” Dumbledore said. James nodded and left the office. He walked into the hallway to see Snape and Sirius sitting on a bench in silence. 

“They want to see you, Sni-Snape.” James mumbled. He had gotten used to calling Snape Snivelly, but he didn’t think it was appropriate at the moment. 

“Hey-”, Sirius started, but James ignored him and kept walking towards his dorm. When he got back, Peter was pacing around the dorm. He looked up when he heard James enter. 

“Thank god one of you is back.” Peter said, “What happened? What’s happening to Sirius? Is Snivelly ok? Are you ok? And what about Remus?”. James sighed. 

“Sirius was stupid. That’s what happened. I don’t know what’s happening to Sirius, frankly I don’t care. And all three of us are fine. I’m going to bed.”, James replied. Peter stared blankly at James for a few seconds. 

“Well don’t you think-” 

“I’ll tell you what I think.” James snapped, “Sirius didn’t use his incredibly small pea-sized brain, and therefore put three people in danger tonight. He exploited our friend for a joke and acted like an imbecile. So for the time being, I will not be speaking to him. This is not an opinion, these are facts, and another fact is that I am tired from the bullshit I went through today to clean up Sirius’s mess, so I’m going to bed.”. James walked past Peter and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. James leaned over the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He had no idea what to do next. He splashed his face with water and sighed. He then brushed his teeth, ran his hand through his hair, and then went back to the dorm to change out of his clothes. Back in the dorm, Peter was sitting on his bed doing his homework. He looked up at James and opened his mouth to say something, but thought it best if he just shut up for the time being. James got some pajamas from his trunk and changed out of his school robes. He was just about to get into bed when Sirius walked into the room. James looked up for a second, making eye contact with Sirius, before he quickly looked away. Sirius sighed quietly and walked over to his bed. 

“I’m off the Quidditch team….and three months detention with Filch.” Sirius muttered. James didn’t reply. After a few minutes Sirius spoke up again. 

“You could at least talk to me.” Sirius said. James got out of bed and grabbed his invisibility cloak from under his bed. He put it on and walked out of the dorm, slamming the door behind him. He couldn’t be there right now, it was too much. James walked out of Gryffindor Tower and roamed the halls for a while. There was nothing else to do after curfew. James turned the corner down a hall he never really visited since he didn’t have any classes there. He walked down the short hallway and started to turn the corner again when something caught his eye. There was a door at the end of the hallway. It wasn’t a classroom, since the classroom doors were a different color, and this door was smaller. It piqued James’s interest, maybe he could add it to the Marauder’s Map. He walked towards the door and slowly opened it, in case the hinges creaked. He walked inside and slowly closed the door behind him. The room seemed to be some sort of living room. There was a big red couch with pillows and yellow blankets, and next to it was a big bookshelf with probably 60 books on it. In front of the couch, there was a small coffee table. There was nothing on it, but it was still a nice touch to the room. Big, long windows lined the walls of the room, allowing moonlight to pour into the room. The room was bright because the moon was full that night. James grimaced. He hated that he couldn’t be there for Remus. He didn’t want him to wake up in pain, wondering where his friends were. James looked around the room a bit more, he wondered who it belonged to. He had never seen the door before, and it didn’t have much in it. And why was there a living room at the end of a hallway full of classrooms? Then it dawned on him. This was the Room of Requirement. James smiled. He had heard of the room before, but he never thought he would actually come across it. He

couldn’t wait to tell Sirius...wait. James’s smile faded and he sighed. He walked across the room and flopped down on the couch. He closed his eyes, but there was no way he could sleep right now. His mind was racing with thoughts. _ “What was Remus gonna do? What was he going to say? What should I say? Should I be the one to explain it to him? What do I do about Sirius? Should I accept his apology? Does he even feel bad?” _ James groaned. He reached over to the bookshelf and grabbed one of the books.  _ Hogwarts: a History. _ James sighed and set the book down on the coffee table. No one in their right mind would read that monstrosity for fun. Just then, the door to the room began to open. James sat up. Who else does this room open for? The door opened and in stepped Regulus Black. When he saw James there, he got a confused look on his face. James looked confused too. Regulus and James didn’t know each other very well. Sirius wasn’t a big fan of Regulus, therefore they never really talked. James got annoyed thinking about Sirius. _ “Why does he dictate who I talk to? I can be friends with Regulus if I want to. Why not? Sirius doesn’t have to like all my friends. Frankly I don’t really like Sirius right now.” _

“Hey.” James said. 

“Hello…” Regulus replied reluctantly, “I didn’t know you knew about this room.”. 

“I didn’t until tonight.” James replied, “Do you wanna sit down?”. Regulus paused for a few seconds. 

“Uh...ya, sure.”. Regulus walked across the room and sat down next to James. 

“Why do you know about this room?” James asked Regulus. 

“I find it hard to sleep sometimes. One time I was roaming around at night and found this. I come here everytime I can’t sleep, it’s better than my dorm. It’s rather crammed in there.” he replied. James laughed. 

“Ya, tell me about it.”. 

“So why are you here? Can you not sleep either?” Regulus asked. 

“Ya, but mostly because I can’t go back to my dorm.” James replied. Regulus furrowed his brows. 

“Why not?” he asked. 

“Sirius did something...bad.”. Regulus’s face fell and he turned white. 

“He didn’t..” Regulus started. James knew what he was talking about. 

“Oh god no. No no no nothing...dark. He...well he sort of...pulled a prank.” Regulus sighed with relief and the color returned to his face. James smiled slightly. It was nice that Regulus still cared about his brother. 

“Well he pulls pranks all the time. What made this one different?”. James sighed. He knew he couldn’t tell Regulus everything, but it was just really nice to talk to someone about how he was feeling. Even if it was partially to spite Sirius. 

“Well, I can’t tell you the whole Prank, but I can tell you parts of it.”. Regulus shrugged. 

“Tell me what you can.” Regulus replied. James wondered why Regulus was being so nice to him, given that they barely knew each other and Regulus hated James’s family, but he would think about it later. James paused for a moment, deciding how he would tell Regulus what happened. 

“Well..a certain student was making Sirius annoyed. So he used a certain situation to his advantage that ended up putting me, this certain student, and Remus in danger. I mean we could have died because he wasn’t thinking about his actions. And I know I sound like a total parent right now, but it’s true.”. Regulus was silent for a few seconds. 

“Was the ‘certain student’ Snape?” Regulus asked. 

“Was it that obvious?” James asked. Regulus laughed. 

“Not really. I just know you lot hate Sanpe. I see your point if I’m being honest.”. James laughed with him. He realized he had never seen Regulus laugh before. He barely ever smiled. He had a really nice laugh. It wasn’t obnoxious and loud, and it wasn’t fake. James wished he could hear Regulus laugh more, he really was nice. 

“So in all honesty,” Regulus continued, “I know that Sirius is a bit of a bonehead, and he may not understand what he’s done. So I think what you should do is explain that to him. Tell him that what he did was wrong. I know it seems stupid, because he should know that, but he doesn’t see it that way. While we see it as ‘Sirius put three people’s lives at risk’, Sirius sees it as ‘I got revenge on Snape’. So just explaining to him the other side of the story might help.”. James thought about this for a few minutes. Regulus did make a really good point. Sirius was being a bonehead, but he might not see it that way. 

“Thank you Regulus, you give really good advice.” James said. He could’ve sworn he saw Regulus blush, but he only noticed for a second. 

“I grew up with him, you pick up a few things.” Regulus replied. James laughed. 

“That was a doozy, I reckon.”. 

“One time he put hair dye in our mother’s shampoo and she chased him around the manor with pink hair and a beet red face. I had to go to my room so she didn’t see me laughing.” Regulus said. The two boys dissolved into a fit of giggles over the prank from years ago. When they both calmed down a bit James realised that Regulus was a pleasure to be around. 

“Hey, why don’t we ever talk?” James asked. Regulus sighed.

“Because you hate my family, and slytherins, and-” 

“Ok wait, wait.” James interrupted, “I don’t hate your family, it’s more your parents I hate. I won’t lie about that. And I don’t hate slytherins, I hate mean, arrogant people. And you don’t seem to be either.”. James was certain Regulus blushed that time. James smiled. Regulus wasn’t the arrogant tosser he seemed to be. 

“Hey listen, Remus and I are going to Hogsmeade this weekend, care to join us?”, James asked. Regulus frowned slightly. 

“I don’t know. Would Remus mind?”, Regulus replied. 

“No, he won’t mind. And I’d honestly like to hang out with you more.” James said. Regulus smiled. 

“Then I suppose I could come along.” 

“Brilliant!” James said. There was a few seconds of silence. It wasn’t awkward, really. Just quiet, the two boys just stared at each other, both of them smiling. Until James broke the silence. 

“I should probably get back to my dorm and see if Sirius is still awake. I need to talk to him.” 

‘Of course.”, Regulus replied. The two boys got up from the couch and James grabbed his invisibility cloak. 

“Wait, how are you going to get back to your dorm?” James asked. 

“There’s a passage from the broom closet down the hall to the slytherin common room. From here to the closet it’s normally all clear. How are you getting back?”. James smirked. 

“Can you promise not to tell anyone?” he asked. Regulus nodded and James put on the cloak, covering his shoulders down to his feet. 

“Woah.” Regulus gasped, “That’s pretty cool.” 

“Ya, got it from my dad. Wait..how do you access that passage?!” James asked. 

Regulus laughed. 

“Like that’s happening!”. Regulus rolled his eyes, but he was still laughing. The two boys walked across the room and slowly opened the door in case it creaked. They tip-toed out of the room and slowly closed the door behind them. 

“I guess I’ll see you this weekend?” Regulus asked. 

“Yep.” James replied. Not knowing how to end the interaction, James stuck out his hand. Regulus smiled and shook his hand. James didn’t know what compelled him to do this, but as he started to walk toward his dorm, he didn’t let go of Regulus’s hand. He dragged his arm a little. Regulus just stood there, looking a little shocked. James laughed a little before putting his cloak over his head and disappearing into the dark hallway. 


	7. Dead End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Marauders Halloween!  
> CW: Swearing

Remus walked down the hallways of Hogwarts, looking over his shoulder every five seconds. Today was Halloween. Halloween at Hogwarts was a warzone. Especially when you were friends with the Marauders. It was no secret that the Marauders loved pranks, and Remus loved pranks too, but on Halloween they took it to the next level. No one was safe. Soon the hallways would be filled with high-pitched screams and hysterical laughs. Remus made his way to the Great Hall for breakfast. He sat down at the Gryffindor table and poured himself a cup of tea. He looked around the Great Hall and realised he was one of the first students there. Remus was usually early, but he expected the other Marauders to be there with him, especially on Halloween. He thought they would get up early. Remus just shrugged it off, they’ll probably ask him for help scaring some poor first years later. Remus took a sip of his tea when just then he felt a cold hand grab his ankle. Remus yelled and spilled tea all over the front of his uniform. Remus then heard laughter from under the table, and out climbed Sirius Black.   
“Fucking hell, Sirius. That was not funny!” Remus said, still catching his breath.   
“That...was hilarious!”, Sirius replied, still laughing.   
“I could have third degree burns, you know. Also how long have you been waiting down there?”   
“Since 5 A.M.” Sirius replied nonchalantly, he sat down across from Remus and poured himself some pumpkin juice.   
“That prank was not worth getting up at 5 A.M. And my uniform is wet now.” Remus said.   
“Oh, relax. Arificus.”, and with that Remus’s uniform no longer had a giant tea stain on it.   
“I guess that makes up for your ridiculous prank.” Remus mumbled, returning to his tea.   
“Splendid! Now, we need your help.”   
“Oh god, what is it?” Remus asked.   
“We need you to bunk off Charms to help set up a major scare we have planned.”, Sirius replied.   
“I can’t bunk off that class, it’s important.”   
“Pleeeease, Moony? We really need your help. And you never bunk off with us!”   
“For a reason!”   
“Pleeeease?”. Remus looked at Sirius. His hair was all messed up from being under the table, but his eyes were just as bright, and his face still sculpted by gods. Remus bit back a smile.   
“Fine, I’ll skip Charms.” Remus sighed.   
“Yes!” Sirius exclaimed. Remus had no idea how he had this much energy.   
“What do you need me to do?” Remus asked.   
“Well, we have this idea to hang a bunch of witch dolls and then charm them to move, the thing is we need someone to place them. That’s where you come in.” Sirius replied.   
“Where did you get witch dolls?”   
“Not relevant, we just need you to put them all in the Great Hall before lunch.”  
“I think you're forgetting that people would see them before you made them move if they were just laying on the floor.”   
“Good observation. Which is why…”, Sirius looked up and Remus followed suit. He realised there were wide wooden beams holding up the massive ceiling.   
“No way.” Remus replied.   
“Why not?!” Sirius asked.   
“Because I am not risking my life to put dolls on a ceiling.”   
“James knows the Arresto Momentum charm, and he’ll be there. It’ll be fine.”  
“If James is going to be here then why can’t he risk his life climbing in the rafters?”   
“Because he and Pete are going to be bringing the dolls in, and I have no idea where he got them from.”, Remus sighed. How on earth did he get roped into doing death defying acts for a prank?   
“Fine.” Remus sighed, “But if I end up dying it is totally your fault.”.   
“Not to worry, Moony. You will not die.”, Sirius replied.   
“Good morning, Lads.” James said as he walked up to Sirius and Remus and sat down.   
“Good morning, guys.” Peter said as he joined the other three.   
“James can you please tell me where you got witch dolls?” Remus asked James.   
“Not relevant.” James replied as he poured himself some tea.   
“I feel it is slightly relevant but I know I won’t get an answer out of you.” Remus said.   
“Good lad.” James said as he added way too many spoonfuls of sugar to his tea.   
“Are you guys excited for the Halloween party tonight?” Peter asked.   
“We aren’t throwing a Halloween Party tonight, are we?” Remus asked.   
“No, that one is Saturday, “ Sirius started, “The school is throwing some sort of outdoor Halloween party this year for the students.”.   
“Why are they doing that? And why didn’t I know about it?” Remus asked.   
“School spirit or some shit,” James replied, “and you were in the library during dinner yesterday, and that’s when they announced it. We just forgot to tell you.”.   
“Seems kind of pointless but ok. Are you going to pull any pranks during that fiasco?” Remus asked.   
“Nah,” Sirius replied, “Mcgonagal said that if any pranks are pulled the whole student body will be punished. I think they’ve had enough of our bullshit.”.   
“They’ve had enough of our bullshit for six years now.” Remus said.   
“Well, I have enough bullshit for a long time.” Sirius replied.   
“That sounds so wrong.” Remus said.   
“Ok, the amount of bullshit Sirius has doesn’t really matter right now. Remus, you’re helping us right?” James said.   
“Regrettably.” Remus replied.   
“Brilliant, you’ll meet Sirius outside the Great Hall after Transfiguration. Then Pete and I will provide the dolls charmed and ready to go.” James said.   
“What if we get caught?” Peter asked nervously.   
“We won’t get caught, Pete.” Sirius assured, “And if we do, everyone will know that we pulled off a really epic prank.”. Remus sighed. Sirius’ love for pranks could be a problem sometimes, he proved that in fifth year. But since then he shaped up. Thank god for that. It had taken Remus a while to forgive Sirius, but since then Sirius had been a lot more careful, and wasn’t taking their friendship for granted. It was still hard for Remus to look Sirius in the eye, but not because of the Prank. It was more the soul crushing love for Sirius that made it difficult. Remus had known he liked boys since third year, but he had only known he liked Sirius since the beginning of fifth year, which just made the Prank that much harder.   
“I’m gonna run to the library before class,” Remus said as he stood up from his seat,” I need to get a book for Potions later.”.   
“See you later, Professor Lupin!” James called. Remus rolled his eyes and smiled before turning around and walking out of the Great Hall. Remus made his way to the Great Hall with only one scare. Some third year hufflepuff wearing an all black robe jumped at Remus from behind a tapestry. When he jumped out at Remus, Remus immediately pointed his wand at him. Fight or flight response. It would have been fine, except Remus accidentally threw the other student across the hall and into the opposite wall. Remus stifled a chuckle and ran away before he could narc on him. When Remus got to the library, Pince all but frisked him to make sure he wouldn’t pull any Halloween pranks in her library. Remus walked swiftly to the section of the library where the potions books were kept, but where there were potions, there was always another student that Remus despised with all of his being. Snape. Remus sighed, straightened his back, and walked down the aisle past Snape.   
“Lupin.” Snape sneered.   
“Snivelly.” Remus replied.   
“It’s a good thing Halloween isn’t on a full moon...it would be a shame if you missed the celebration.”   
“You better watch yourself Snivelly, or I’ll get all my other werewolf friends to eat you.”, Remus said, not batting an eye at Snape.   
“You can’t do that...you imbecile.” Snape replied.   
“Try me.” Remus said in a deadpan tone, walking past Snape with his book. Still never looking at him. Remus walked out of the library and down the halls to his transfiguration class. No one tried to scare him this time. He walked into class and took his assigned seat next to James. Remus had no idea why Mcgonagal allowed them to sit together, he wasn’t fully convinced James didn’t pay her.   
“Did you get the book?” James asked as Remus sat down next to him.   
“Yep.” Remus replied as he got out his transfiguration textbook.   
“Good morning, students.” Mcgonagal said as she walked to the front of the class, “Now, if there is any funny business in this class today, any at all, and there will be severe consequences. Now, today we will be talking about transfiguring mythical creatures.”. Remus sat through the first half of the class feeling extremely bored, until James passed him a note from under their desk. Remus opened the scrap of parchment. “Are you excited for the prank?”, it read. Remus rolled his eyes and scribbled a message on the parchment and handed it back to James. “This is completely pointless.”. James wrote something else on the parchment and Remus sighed. What is so important? Remus took the parchment back and opened it again. “But are you excited?”, Remus wrote another message on the parchment and passed it back to James. “Yes, now you're going to get us in trouble so get rid of this.”. Remus saw James smile out of the corner of his eye. James took his wand off of his desk and pointed at the parchment under his desk.   
“Evanesco.” James whispered, and with that the parchment disappeared. After transfiguration James and Remus went their separate ways. James went to get the witch dolls, and Remus made his way to the Great Hall to meet Sirius. On his way to the Great Hall he didn’t get scared by any other students. He presumed word had got out about him throwing a student against a wall. He made his way to the Great Hall doors, but he didn’t see Sirius.   
“Sirius? Sirius!” Remus half whispered half shouted. He was about to check to see if he was waiting for him down the hall when a hand cupped his mouth and he was pulled into the Great Hall. When he was inside the Great Hall, there stood Sirius Black with a rope and his wand.   
“Christ stop doing that!” Remus exclaimed.   
“Shhhhh,”Sirius replied, “help me close the doors.”  
“How will James and Peter get in?” Remus asked as he followed Sirius towards the doors.   
“We made a special knock so we know it’s them.” Sirius said. Remus sighed and got his wand out of his pocket. The two boys levitated the huge doors closed. There was no way they could have pushed them closed since each door probably weighed at least 35 stone.   
“Now what’s the rope for?” Remus asked once the doors were closed.   
“We’re gonna use it to get up to the rafters.” Sirius replied.   
“If you think I am climbing up there using a rope-”   
“No no no of course not.” Sirius laughed, “We’re gonna transfigure it into a ladder.”.   
“Do you know how to do that?” Remus asked.   
“Yes! I went to the library and looked it up and everything!” Sirius replied.   
“Ok, ok I believe you, so how do you transfigure it?”   
“Well, first we need to lay it out in a straight line.”  
“How long is the rope?”   
“About 25 meters.”. Remus sighed and took one end of the rope to let it unfurl down the Great Hall. All laid out the rope was about half the length of the Hall.   
“Right.” Remus said, “Are you ready?”   
“Absolutely.” Sirius replied. Just then they heard a knock at the door.   
“That’s James and Peter, can you go open the door?” Sirius asked. Remus nodded and walked back down the hall to the huge doors. He used his wand to open the doors about three feet so the other two boys could get through. James and Peter came in holding sacks about the size of Remus’s book bag.   
“That isn’t a lot of witch dolls.” Remus commented.   
“Simple expanding charm.” James replied. He proceeded to dump out his sack, revealing that he was carrying about 30 dolls that were about a meter long. Peter followed suit, and his sack had about the same amount of the same dolls.   
“Holy shit.” Remus said.   
“Insane, right?” James replied proudly, but before Remus could respond, Sirius spoke up.   
“Ladder’s ready!” he called. The other three turned to see that instead of a rope, there laying on the floor of the Great Hall was a ladder about the same length as the rope it used to be.   
“You expect me to climb that?” Remus asked.   
“Yep.” Sirius replied.   
“Why can’t James do it?” Remus asked.   
“Because he can’t. Now Moony, do stop asking so many questions, we got this! Wingardium Leviosa.” Sirius said. Sirius levitated the ladder up to the rafters so that the top rested on one of the wooden beams.   
“Ready, Moony?” Sirius said as he walked over to the bottom of the ladder.   
“I am going to fall to my death.” Remus said as he walked over to the bottom ladder. The two boys made their way up to the rafters very slowly, Remus stopping every five rungs to practice breathing exercises. Once they made it up to the rafters, the wooden beams ended up being very wide and thick, which calmed Remus down a bit.   
“So what’s the plan?” Remus asked.   
“James and Peter are going to levitate the dolls to us and we’re going to place them.” Sirius replied. Remus sighed.   
“Ok, we can do this, right?” Remus asked.   
“Moony, there is nothing we can’t do.” Sirius said, smiling at Remus. Remus tried not to smile back, but Sirius had a really nice smile. Remus and Sirius spent the next twenty minutes placing the dolls along the rafters to make sure the charm worked the way they wanted it to. When they were done, Remus ended up right by the ladder, but Sirius had to cross one of the wooden beams that stretched horizontally across the Hall. Meaning he couldn't hold onto anything for support.   
“Ok, Sirius. You’re gonna be ok right?” Remus asked nervously. Sirius just laughed.   
“I got this, Moony.” he replied. Sirius slowly started walking across the beam, stretching his arms so he had an easier time balancing. Remus gripped the beam above his head. This made him more nervous than crossing any of the beams himself, as much as he hated to admit it. About halfway across the beam, Sirius misplaced his foot, causing him to lose his balance for a few seconds. It wouldn’t have mattered, except he had nothing to support him. So he leaned to the left a little too much, causing him to fall towards the stone floor.   
“SIRIUS!” Remus yelled. He immediately made his way to the ladder as fast as he could. About three seconds later, he heard James’s voice.   
“Arresto Momentum!”, Remus was already halfway down the ladder when he heard the sound of Sirius’s body stopping just above the floor, only for a second, before he fell the other two feet down to the ground. When Remus got down from the rafters, James was helping Sirius up from the floor. Remus walked over the three boys and without thinking, gave Sirius a hug.   
“You fucking scared me!” Remus exclaimed. Sirius laughed and hugged Remus back.   
“I’m ok, Moony! I promise.” Sirius replied. Remus broke away and punched Sirius lightly in the arm.   
“We are never doing something that dangerous again.” Remus said.  
“Alright, Alright deal.” Sirius replied.   
“Well, we still have about 20 minutes until lunch, so should we just wait outside the Hall?” Peter asked.   
“Sure, come on guys.” James said, walking towards the doors.   
“Wait! We have to change the ladder back.” Sirius said. He pulled out his wand and muttered an incantation. With that, the ladder disappeared and the rope fell back down to the floor. Sirius put the rope in his bag and walked out of the Hall with the other three. At lunch time, all four of them were excited to see how the prank would play out.   
“When are you gonna do it?” Sirius asked impatiently.   
“Soon, my friend.” James replied, sipping his water. Sirius groaned.   
“Alright alright, “James sighed, “I’ll do it now.”.   
“Yay!” Sirius said, clapping like an excited child.   
James pulled his wand out of his pocket and pointed it at the ceiling from under the table. He muttered the incantation and quickly put his wand back in his pocket. Almost instantly they heard a blood-curdling scream from the Slytherin table. The four boys looked up to see the dolls slowly floating from the rafters down the tables. Sirius almost instantly started laughing. Remus immediately shushed him.   
“Look scared!” Remus instructed. Sirius flashed him a smile before performing one of the best theatrical performances Remus had ever seen.   
“Oh Merlin!” Sirius exclaimed, “Why must you bring these haunted creatures to this place of education?! Please oh please, if there is a god out there, help me survive this apocalypse!”. The other three were fighting back giggles while this was going on. But the prank only lasted about a minute before Dumbledore took out his wand and vanished all the dolls. Mcgonagal was furious, but she couldn’t prove it was the Marauders, so the boys got away with no trouble. However, some of the students put two and two together, and they were congratulated all day long. After the last class, the boys went back to their dorm to get ready for the school Halloween party.   
“Are any of you going to dress up?” Remus asked as he set his bag down on his bed.   
“No, we didn’t have any time to plan any epic costumes, so we’re going as ourselves. But it’s ok because we’re all pretty cool.” Sirius replied. Remus scoffed.   
“I think your a lot less cool than you think.” he replied. Sirius gasped, pretending to be offended.   
“How dare you, Moony! I am the coolest motherfucker in this school!”. Remus laughed at Sirius ridiculousness. He was ridiculous, but he pulled it off. The four of them changed into plainclothes and made their way to the grounds for the party. When they got there, they realised that Hogwarts really outdid themsleves. There were multiple stands with different types of candy, a huge tent that was serving hot cocoa, a big mansion labeled “Haunted House” and a huge hay maze looked near impossible to make it through alive.   
“Woah!” Sirius excalimed, “This is pretty cool!”.   
“Cooler than you?” Remus asked.   
“Shut up!” Sirius laughed, nudging Remus in the arm.   
“Hey I got an idea, what if we tried to see who can get through the maze first?” James said, looking towards the entrance of the maze.   
“Why would you want to do that?” Peter asked.   
“Because Regulus just entered the maze.” Sirius said.   
“Hey, that is not the reason!” James exclaimed.   
“Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, loverboy.” Sirius said, walking towards the maze and beckoning the others to follow him. The four made thier way to the entrance of the maze and they almost instantly lost James.   
“Should we split up then?” Remus asked.   
“I think that’s what we’re supposed to do. Best of luck, lads!” Peter said as he walked into one of the maze pathways.   
“Good luck, Moony!” Sirius said as he went the opposite way Peter went. Remus sighed and headed forward. After twenty minutes of confused walking, Remus was convinced he was walking in circles. He was about to take the same left turn for the third time when a hand pulled his arm and another cupped his mouth, and before he knew it he was in one of the maze’s many dead ends. The hands let him go and Remus turned around to see Sirius.   
“What did I tell you about doing that?!” Remus exclaimed.   
“I know, I know I’m sorry, but I have no idea how to get out of this maze, got any ideas?” Sirius said.   
“No, I’ve been walking in circles.” Remus replied. Sirius sighed.   
“Alright, well at least keep me company.” Sirius said as he walked out of the dead end, pulling Remus’s hand to come with him. Remus tried not to blush as he pulled his hand out of Sirius’s grasp and walked beside him. The two walked around the maze talking, taking their time and turning when they wanted to. They were just about to turn right when Remus saw a head of greasy black hair. Remus pulled Sirius back against the hay bail and looked around the corner to confirm it was Snape.   
“What was that for?” Sirius asked. Remus shushed him and took out his wand.   
“Snape is over there.” Remus whispered. Sirius smiled and peered over the hay bail with Remus. Remus aimed his wand at the back of Snape’s head.   
“Stupefy.” Remus whispered, and with that Snape flew into the hailbail across the pathway. The two boys started laughing hysterically.   
“Go go go go” Remus said, pushing Sirius the other way. The two ran through the maze for a while to make sure Snape wouldn’t find them. They found a dead end and Remus pulled Sirius into the corner. He pushed him against the side of the dead and placed his hand over Sirius’s mouth. The two boys continued to laugh and catch their breath for a few more minutes. Once they had calmed down, they were left staring at each other, their faces inches apart. After a few seconds of staring at each other, Sirius closed the gap between their faces slightly. Leaving their faces only an inch apart. Remus stared at Sirius’s piercing grey eyes before pressing his lips against Sirius’s. The two of them just kissed each other for a bit. They forgot about the other people in the maze, and Snape, and the cold weather. They just kissed for a while. It was like they were the only two people in the world. When Remus finally broke the kiss, they both laughed.   
“We should probably try and get out of here.” Remus whispered.   
“Ya, ya we should.” Sirius replied. The two walked out of the dead end and turned left trying to get out of the maze.   
“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” Sirius laughed.   
“No way, so have I!” Remus replied. Sirius laughed again. The two took a few more turns before they ran into Regulus and James walking in front of them. Holding hands. Sirius stifled a chuckle before clearing his throat. James and Regulus jumped apart and whipped their heads around to see Remus and Sirius.   
“Sirius….we were just...um.” James stuttered.   
“Ya ya...we were...um.” Regulus continued. Sirius rolled his eyes.   
“Oh, whatever lovebirds. Just cool it with the PDA. I mean honestly, there are children in this maze.”


	8. I love you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Regulus does some snooping  
> CW: Swearing and mentions of abuse

Regulus walked up the moving staircases to Gryffindor Tower. James and Regulus had been dating for about three months, and Regulus was the happiest he had ever been. James wasn’t the arrogant prick Regulus thought he was, and he had taught Regulus a lot about equality amongst wizards and about why blood status apparently didn’t matter. Regulus still wasn’t completely on board, but he was trying to be less discriminatory. Nevertheless, James was one of the most caring people Regulus had ever met. He was understanding, kind, and surprisingly funny. And ever since they had started dating, James hadn’t been pranking Slytherins as much. Of course, he did if they deserved it, but he was shaping up, and so was Regulus. Regulus smiled to himself as he made his way up the last staircase and stood in front of the portrait of the fat lady. 

“Caput Draconis.” Regulus said, and the fat lady opened the door so Regulus could enter the common room. James had given him the password in case he needed to talk to James. He entered the common room and scanned the room for his boyfriend. He got a few confused looks because of his slytherin tie, but he ignored them. He found James sitting at one of the tables a couple feet from the door with the other Marauders. When James first told Regulus he wanted him to meet his friends, Regulus was really nervous, given that Regulus embodied everything they hated, but they were surprisingly accepting. Sirius was ecstatic that Regulus was hanging out with them, Remus was just as sarcastic as Regulus if not more, and Peter was rather quiet, but when he did talk he was never rude. Regulus was pretty sure Peter was scared of him, but there was nothing he could do about that. 

“Hey, guys.” Regulus said as he approached the Marauder’s table. 

“Hey, Reg!” James said, cheerfully. 

“I was just confirming we’re still hanging out tonight?” Regulus asked. James’s face fell. 

“Shit, I thought you said the fifth?” James said. 

“Today’s the fifth.” Regulus replied. 

“Shit, I got the dates mixed up. I have a study group with these guys tonight, can we do it tomorrow instead?” James asked. 

“Oh, ya sure. It’s not a big deal.” Regulus said. 

“Ok, I’m really sorry about that, I’ll meet you tomorrow, yeah?” James said. 

“Ya, sure. It’s really ok, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Regulus said as he walked away from the table and turned the corner towards the door, but instead of walking out, he stayed in the common room, his back pressed against the wall, out of sight from the Marauders, but still able to hear them. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but it was sort of in his nature. He heard James groan. 

“Are you alright mate?” Sirius asked. 

“Ya, I’m fine. I just hate lying to him.” James replied. 

“You can meet up with him, it’s honestly ok.” Remus said. 

“No, no I’ll be there tonight. Whomping Willow at 6:15 right?” James asked. 

“Yep.” Sirius said. 

“Alright, sounds good.” James said. Regulus furrowed his eyebrows and walked out of the Gryffindor common room again. He had so many questions.  _ “Why are they going to the Whomping Willow? And why are they going right before dark? They can’t be studying there. That’s really dangerous. Just...why?” _ Regulus’s mind raced as he made his way back to his dorm. He paced around his dorm deciding what to do.  _ “Did he not tell me because I’m younger? _

_ But it’s only by a year. And I’m 15 for fucks sake. I’m not a child. Should I see what their doing? I could just hide behind the rocks near the tree. And what if they got hurt, the Willow is super dangerous.”.  _ Regulus checked the clock in his dorm, it was 5:45. Regulus took a deep breath and decided to investigate. He grabbed his robe from his trunk along with his prefect badge in case a teacher saw him. He walked out of the Slytherin common room and made his way to the grounds near the whomping willow. He kept a safe distance from the thrashing branches and ducked behind some boulders near the tree. After about five minutes, he saw two people exit the castle and walk towards the tree. Regulus had to squint to see who they were, but once he did he recognized them as Remus and Madam Pompfrey. This just made Regulus more confused.  _ “Why was a healer and Remus going to the Whomping Willow? _ ”. Pompfrey then levitated a broken tree branch and placed it on the bottom of the tree. Regulus then saw a small hole open at the bottom of the tree, allowing Pompfrey and Remus to crawl under the Whomping Willow. Once they were gone, Regulus was left stunned. What was going on? About thirty seconds later, Pompfrey crawled back out of the hole and took the tree branch off of the base of the tree. She walked swiftly and quietly back to the castle. Regulus was left crouching behind the boulders, dumbfounded. Almost immediately after Madam Pomfrey walked back into the castle, the tree froze and the tunnel opened again. Regulus tried to see what was causing it, but he couldn’t make it out. He then saw two figures emerge from seemingly nowhere and crawl into the tunnel. Regulus was even more confused as to how those two pulled it off, when he realised something. James’s invisibility cloak. Why in the name of Merlin was James using a tunnel from the Whomping Willow to who knows where? Just then the tunnel closed and the branches started thrashing again. Regulus took a breath and came out of his hiding spot. He took the same tree branch Pompfrey used and carefully levitated it towards the bottom of the Whomping Willow. It took him a few tries, but he finally got the tree branches to stop thrashing and the tunnel entrance to open. Regulus drew a shaky breath and slowly walked towards the tunnel opening. He peered through the opening and saw nothing. It was pitch black.

_ “Lumos.” Regulus whispered. The light didn’t do much, but he was able to see the opening led to an underground tunnel. Regulus crawled into the tunnel opening, keeping his wand in front of him the whole time. Once he got inside, he looked around to see where he was. He realised there was rather long passageway in front of him. Regulus took another deep breath and started to walk down the passageway. After about a minute of walking, Regulus heard a sort of screaming from a little ways away. The screaming lasted for about a minute before it stopped completely. Regulus racked his brain. “What could be making that noise? Why is something screaming? It sounds like they’re in pain. Was it one of the boys? Was it- oh god was it James?!”, Regulus scolded himself for being so stupid before taking off down the tunnel. He ran as fast as he could down the dark tunnel, trying not to trip on the roots and branches on the ground. When he made it to the end of the tunnel, there was a trapdoor above his head. Regulus took another deep breath and slowly opened the door. He crawled into the room the trapdoor led to and found himself in a worn down house that smelled rather musty. Then Regulus put two and two together. He was in the Shrieking Shack. That's why there was screaming. Regulus felt a sense of relief, but several questions still remained. “Why did the Marauders come down here? And why was Madam Pomfrey here? And-”, but Regulus’s thoughts were interrupted when he heard something burst out of the room upstairs. Regulus looked up to see a huge creature. It looked malnourished and it was bent over, but standing up _

it had to be ten or so feet tall. It was also whimpering, as if it had been in pain. And just then something in Regulus’s head clicked. It was a werewolf. Regulus tried to back out of the house slowly, but the house was old. He tried to take a step back, but the wood creaked under his foot. The wolf looked down and bore his yellow eyes into Regulus’s chest. He was completely frozen, he had no idea what to do. Just then, a stag came out of the doorway the wolf came from and stared at Regulus, followed by a shaggy black dog which also stared at Regulus. This just raised more questions.  _ “Why is there a werewolf here? Along with a bloody stag and dog?” _ . The wolf growled at Regulus but the dog growled at the wolf and leapt at it. Then the stag jumped over the railing and down to the floor next to Regulus, where it then promptly turned into a very angry looking James. “ _ What the fuck is going on?!” _ . Without warning, James grabbed Regulus’s hand and jumped into the tunnel, bringing Regulus tumbling down with him. Regulus scrambled to his feet, where he was immediately dragged by his boyfriend down the tunnel, who never let go of his hand. James used his wand to illuminate the tunnel as he dragged Regulus down the passageway. 

“James what the hell did I just witness?!” Regulus asked. No response. 

“Why were you just a stag? Who was that dog? Why was there a werewolf there?” Regulus pressed. No response. 

“James, that's really dangerous you can’t go near werewolves on the full moon….hang on is that werewolf a student?! Is it Remus?! I would know if it was Sirius.”. No response. They were almost to the end of the tunnel now. 

“James will you please tell me what is going on?” Regulus asked. James finally let go of Regulus and stopped dragging him down the tunnel. He turned around to face Regulus. 

“Yes, that werewolf is Remus. If you out him Regulus I swear to Merlin you will be sorry. I was a stag because I am an illegal animagus. So are Sirius and Peter. We did it to help Remus through the full moons so that he wouldn’t hurt himself. If you out any of us you will be sorry. I have no idea what you were thinking following me down here or how you found out I was coming here, but frankly I don’t care right now. I need to go help my friend. If this is a problem for you then I’m sorry. Now go back to your dorm before you put anyone else in danger.”, and with that James turned on his heel and walked back down the tunnel, leaving Regulus in the dark. Regulus felt tears fall down his cheeks. This was their first major fight, and it was his fault. He felt stupid. Why did he do that? He just wanted to make sure James wasn’t being stupid. But he wasn’t, as always he was being caring and kind towards the people he cared about. Had Regulus just ruined his first relationship? The thought just made him cry harder. He really really liked James. Maybe even….no no no he couldn’t go there. Not when he just destroyed the best thing that ever happened to him. Regulus wiped his cheeks in an attempt to get rid of his tears, but they were just replaced with new ones seconds later. Merlin, he wished he could go back to this evening. Just not come here, just have a redo. Regulus looked around and realized he was still in a dirty, cold underground tunnel. He tried to climb back out of the tunnel, but it was hard because he was shaking so much. He finally made his way out of the tunnel and collapsed on the ground for a few minutes. He couldn’t stop crying. Why had this happened? Why was this happening? He stumbled to his feet and took the branch off of the bottom of the tree so that the others wouldn’t get caught being in the shack with Remus. He was almost immediately hit with a branch and thrown several meters through the air before he came crashing down to the ground again. Regulus just laid there sobbing again. He couldn't do anything as his emotions consumed

him. He only got up again because the ground was too cold for his body. He snuck back into the castle and back to his dorm. Unfortunately, Mcgonagal was on guard duty that night. As he turned the corner he was met with the bright light of her wand, and she was met with his shaking body and tear-stained face. 

“I-dear what are you doing out of bed?” Mcgonagal asked, confused. Regulus couldn’t say anything. He just pointed to his prefect badge. Mcgonagal gave him a sort of sympathetic look. 

“Go back to your dorms, dear.” she said, and ushered him past her and walked around the corner down the hall. Regulus thanked Merlin she didn’t get him in trouble. Perhaps it was because she knew him and James were dating and presumed it was related to that? She had caught them making out in a broom closet the week before. Or maybe she thought it was his parents. That would also be a good explanation. But it didn’t matter right now, he just needed to get back to his dorm. He made the rest of the trip safely with no other interactions with teachers. When he made it back to his dormitory, his roommates were, thankfully, asleep. He closed the curtains around his bed and cast a silencing charm. He sobbed into his pillow while his mind raced. “ _Will James ever talk to me again? What if it’s over? How mad is Sirius? What about Remus? Oh god, Remus. Remus is a werewolf? I never knew. They were supposed to be savages. Why isn’t Remus a savage? He isn’t dangerous. Should I care if Remus is a werewolf? If I want to get James back I better not care. Are we even broken up? What exactly did he say? Did he explicitly break up with me? Am I single again? Alone again? Am I alone?”_ The thought just made Regulus cry harder. Suddenly Regulus heard a voice in his head. He hadn’t heard the voice since the summer, but it said something to him that Kreacher had told him long ago, after his mother punished him one night. “ _You know Master,”_ ,it said, “ _If I feel upset like this, I just let my emotions go away, just make them go away, and you’ll feel better.”_ , but Regulus pushed the thought away quickly. If he did that, he couldn’t feel happy with James anymore, even if there was a big chance that was over. He had to think rationally. _“Ok, Remus is a werewolf. I guess Dumbledore worked out the Shack and tunnel thing. I guess I shouldn’t care since it’s none of my business, and I want James back. But it’s just so weird, what if he hurts me? He hasn’t hurt me before. Maybe not all werewolves are savages? Whatever, for the time being ‘I do not care.’. Oh god what do I do? What do I do? What do I do?”._ Regulus didn’t get any sleep, his mind was going 100 miles an hour. He kept hearing his mother’s voice yelling profanities at him in french, telling him how useless he is. It applied to the situation, but it was a lot harder to make his mother’s voice go away. It stuck in his head like glue the whole night. Regulus decided couldn’t go to breakfast or first period, he would see James. And he couldn’t face him right now. He just laid in his bed, his face red and puffy. At about 8 am, one of his roommates tried to get him up. 

“Regulus, are you coming?” he said in his stupid aristocrat accent. Regulus had it too. They always had to over pronounce everything. Regulus hated it. He wished he could live with people like James, who weren’t as serious. Another tear streamed down Regulus’s face at the thought. He was getting dehydrated. He cleared his throat as best he could. 

“No.” Regulus replied simply. 

“Are you sure, you’re going to be late-” his roommate started, but Regulus cut him off. 

“I’m not coming.” Regulus said. His roommate didn’t reply and just walked out of his room. Regulus flopped down back on his pillow. He had no intention of leaving anytime soon. Regulus just laid on his bed until he heard the bell indicating the first period was over, but Regulus still

didn’t leave his bed. He was too scared to run into James. He didn’t want to look any of the Marauders in the eye. Unfortunately, his wishes did not come true, because just a few minutes later, someone came barging into his room. And Regulus heard the unmistakable voice of James Potter. 

“Regulus?” James called around the room. He looked around for another second or two before he saw Regulus’s closed curtains. James slowly walked over to Regulus’s bed and slowly drew back one of his curtains. There, James found Regulus curled up in a ball above his blankets, red faced and still in his robes from last night. 

Upon seeing James, Regulus instantly sat up. 

“I know, you're really mad at me, and I have an explanation. I overheard you guys talking about going to the Whomping Willow near dark, and I was just so confused and I thought you were going to do something stupid and dangerous so I followed you guys but then I saw the tunnel and my curiosity got the best of me and I’m so sorry.” Regulus said. James was silent for a few moments before he spoke up. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m mad...just… some negative emotion that isn’t mad. I mean what were you thinking, Reg? I understand curiosity but the thing is with the Shack and the Willow, no one knows about it. I mean you can understand why I didn’t want you to know right?” James asked. 

“You didn’t tell me because of my family?!” Regulus said. 

“Well….kinda.” James said quietly. 

“James I have been trying to learn about not not liking muggle borns and half bloods. Believe me I am trying very hard to be a better person and being the person you want me to be, but when you kept that from me not for legal issues, but because of where I’m from, that hurts.” 

“I never said I wanted you to change! I actually started dating you because I like you the way you are, but forgive me if I was a little scared to approach you saying ‘Hey, by the way Remus is a werewolf. You know those highly discriminated against creatures?’.” 

“I don’t want you to be scared of me because I’m a Black, I mean my brother is a Black and you trust him with your life.” 

“I never said that-” James started, but as he said that he gestured with his arm. A little too close to Regulus’s face. Regulus got deja vu seeing James’s hand that close to his face. He pictured his mother’s hand slapping him across his face with her big, heavy metal rings when he wasn’t a perfect heir. And out of instinct, like he had done many times before, he put his hand in front of his face and ducked slightly. James noticed and his eyes went wide. 

“Did you think..” James whispered. 

“I...I” Regulus stuttered. Regulus expected him to get angrier at him for thinking James would do such a thing. Regulus knew James would never do that, it was an accident. Regulus prepared to be yelled at more, but instead felt James’s arms around him. Regulus immediately hugged him back. He was new to hugging, but he really liked hugging James. It made him feel safe. 

“I-I would n-never hurt you, Reg.” James said, his voice cracking. Regulus could tell he was tearing up. It made Regulus heart melt. 

“I-I love you.” James whispered. Regulus almost exploded. Did James truly love him? Did someone care about him that much? Was that possible? Regulus didn’t know the answers to these questions, but he did know one thing. 

“I love you too.” Regulus whispered back. 


	9. Starstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Sirius goes stargazing   
> CW: Mentions of abuse

Sirius woke up sweaty and panting. He could still hear his mother’s voice ringing in his ears, and he could still see her wand inches from his face.  _ “It was just a dream. It was just a dream.” _ Sirius thought as he got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. He hopped carefully around the floor, careful not to touch any of the creaky spots. He made his way across his dorm to the bathroom and fumbled with the doorknob in the dark before he got it to open. He slowly opened the door and crept inside the bathroom. He closed the bathroom door behind him, leaving him in complete darkness. He ran his hand along the side of the wall trying to find the light switch. His hand made its way to the plastic light switch and pushed it forward. The dark bathroom was suddenly flooded with light as the light on the ceiling illuminated the room. Sirius closed his eyes, startled by the sudden change in atmosphere. He opened his eyes and blinked a couple times, allowing his eyes to get used to the light. He turned the knob to turn on the faucet, letting cold water fall down into the drain. He cupped his hand under the faucet and splashed his face with water. He shivered when the cold water hit his face, but it was followed by a sense of relief now that the sweat that was on his face was gone. He reached over to the left to grab a dry towel. He used the towel to dry his face before putting it back on the rack he found it hanging on. He turned around and put his hand on the doorknob before turning the light off and slowly opening the door to the bathroom. He tiptoed out of the room and closed the door behind him. He carefully and quietly walked back to his dorm, careful not to wake the other boys. He was about to climb into bed when he paused. He wasn’t tired, he didn’t want to sit in his uncomfortably hot bed until he saw the sun rise. Instead of climbing back into his bed, he grabbed his jacket and picked up his shoes from under his bed. He slowly put his jacket on over his pajamas and crept out of his dorm. He closed his door behind him and put his shoes on in the hallway of the dormitory. He walked swiftly down to the common room, careful not to wake any light sleepers as he passed by the other dorms. He made it to the staircase and slowly walked down the stone steps. He didn’t expect anyone to be in the common room this late at night, or this early in the morning, but when he turned his head towards the window, he saw Remus Lupin sitting on the window sill. He was also wearing pajamas and shoes with no socks, he was reading a small paperback book while the crescent moon illuminated his face. Remus sensed he was there and set down his book, folding the corner of the page he was on the save his place. 

“Hey.” Remus said. 

“Hi, what are you doing up?” Sirius asked. 

“Couldn’t sleep, what about you?” 

“Bad dream.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry about that.” 

“It’s alright, just a dream.”, there was silence for a couple seconds as neither of them knew what to say, the only noise in the room was the faint sounds of the dying embers in the fireplace across the room. Until Sirius spoke up. 

“I was going to go look at the stars, wanna come?” Sirius asked. 

“Why do you want to look at the stars?” Remus asked. Sirius shrugged. 

“I don’t know, it calms me down.”. Remus paused for a few seconds before responding. 

“How are we going to get there?” Remus asked. 

“There’s a passage down to the grounds one staircase away.” Sirius replied. 

“When did you discover that?” 

“First year…” Sirius mumbled. 

“And you weren’t going to tell us so we could put it on the map?” Remus asked. 

“I was going to..I just forgot.” Sirius said smiling. Remus rolled his eyes and followed Sirius out of the common room. The two of them quietly climbed out of the portrait hole and took a left towards the staircase leading up. Remus used his wand to illuminate the stairs in front of them, unfortunately that drew the attention of some paintings around them. 

“Put that light out, boy!” snapped a soldier from the 1700s. 

“ _ Silencio.”  _ Sirius whispered. With that the knight couldn’t speak again. He opened his mouth to try and speak but he couldn’t speak anymore. Sirius and Remus ran up the stairs laughing while the knight shook his fist at them. They made it up the staircase and Sirius pulled Remus into a dark corridor. 

“Sirius, there’s nothing down here. It was abandoned years ago.” Remus whispered. 

“Precisely.” Sirius whispered back. They two of them walked down the long hallway, their footsteps echoing in the air around them. It was rather cold in the corridor, given that nothing was there anymore. Sirius shivered as a cold sensation fell down his spine. He then suddenly felt warm again when he felt Remus’s arm around him. Remus was like a human heater, he was always warm. 

“Thanks, mate.” Sirius said. 

“Ya.” Remus said. Sirius suddenly laughed. 

“Reckon we look like a couple, yeah?”, Remus laughed lightly. 

“Yeah, sure.” he replied. They made their way to the end of the hallway and were met with a stone wall covered in cobwebs. 

“Now where is this secret passage?” Remus asked. Sirius smirked and pulled his wand out of his pocket. He tapped the middle stone four times, and the wall shifted to make a doorway. Remus was left with his mouth hanging open. The entrance reminded him of diagon alley. 

“How did you find this?” Remus asked. 

“I have my ways.” Sirius said as he started to walk down the tunnel. 

“So mysterious, Black.” Remus said sarcastically as he followed Sirius down the tunnel. 

“Where does this tunnel lead to?” he asked. 

“It’s a surprise.” Sirius said. 

“Your not taking me to your sex dungeon are you?” Remus asked. This made Sirius laugh. 

“No, Moony. You're not my type.”

“I’m everyone’s type. I’m bloody gorgeous.” 

“You're so cocky, Moony.”

“This coming from Sirius Black, the king of kings.” 

“Aw, you think I’m the king of kings?” 

“No! You think you're the king of kings. Which is a problem considering you're merely a student.” 

“Well one day, Moony, I will be the king of kings. And I’ll make you my jester and make you dance around my palace looking like a fool.” 

“You could never pay me enough to do that.”

“We’ll see, Moons. We’ll see.”. The two continued walking down the tunnel when Sirius heard Remus stumble. He must not have seen the staircase in front of them. Sirius dove forward to try and catch Remus, but he ended up losing his balance as well. With little light and nothing to hang on to, the two went tumbling down the stone stairs while Sirius clutched Remus in his arms. Thankfully, it wasn’t a long staircase, but it was still stone, therefore it hurt. A lot. The two fell down the stairs for a few seconds before they both fell on the ground below. Sirius groaned and rolled over. 

“ _ Lumos.”  _ Sirius whispered. Then he saw Remus next to him, doubled over and crying. 

“Fucking hell, Remus. Are you ok?” Sirius asked worriedly as he crawled over to where Remus was. Sirius grabbed Remus’s shoulder and Remus sat up against the wall to reveal that he was laughing. 

“That..was...so funny!” Remus gasped. Sirius sighed. 

“It was not funny! I thought you were really hurt!” Sirius replied. 

“Aw, Pads. Do you care that much?”. Sirius snorted. 

“Ya, right. I should just leave you here to die amongst the spiders.” 

“You wouldn't!” 

“I would if you were genuinely hurt, but alas, you are not.” Sirius said as he extended his hand to help Remus off the floor. 

“You're so sweet, you know that?” Remus said as he accepted Sirius’s hand and stood up from the floor. 

“We’re really close now.” Sirius said. 

“No more surprise staircases?” Remus asked. Sirius nudged him in the arm. 

“No, no more surprise staircases.” he replied. The two made their way down the rest of the passageway before they came to a stop at the end of the passageway. The end of the hallway was only a wall, there were no doors leading anywhere. 

“Sirius, there isn’t anything here.” Remus said. 

“You're a good observer, Moony. But not good enough.” Sirius replied, and he pointed to the ceiling, where there was a rectangular box cut out with hinges on it’s left side. Sirius reached up and pushed it open, revealing the room above them. Remus stepped right below the trapdoor and peered upwards. 

“Well that’s all well and good Sirius but how are we going to climb-what the fuck?!” Remus exclaimed. Sirius levitated Remus upwards through the hole in the ceiling. 

“Sirius you are such an arsehole! You scared me.” Remus called from above Sirius. Sirius laughed at Remus being scared. Remus normally acted so tough, he thought it was cute. 

“ _ Ascendio.” _ Sirius quietly, pointing his wand above him. He was suddenly catapulted out of the tunnel and into the room above him, a little too high. He shot through the air right onto Remus. Causing the two of them to go barreling down to the ground again. 

“Bloody hell, Sirius!” Remus said as he tried to stand up again. Now Sirius was the one laughing. 

“I’m sorry...I’m s-sorry!” Sirius said. He was still laughing as he climbed to his feet next to Remus. 

“Are we in the Astronomy Tower?” Remus asked as he looked above them. They were on the ground floor of the Tower, which was basically an empty stone room with a staircase leading upwards. 

“Yep, come on!” Sirius said. He grabbed Remus’s hand and ran out of the south side of the Tower. There was a small field of grass with some small flowers scattered here and there. Sirius dragged Remus into the middle of the field and spun around a couple times with his arms out before grabbing Remus’s hand again and falling to the ground, bringing Remus down with him. Remus yelped as he fell to the ground next to Sirius. 

“You need to stop doing that!” Remus said. Sirius ignored Remus’s comment and looked at the sky. 

“Look at how pretty the stars are.” Sirius said in awe, “I’ll never get over how pretty they are.”. Remus looked up and saw all the stars in the sky. They were almost as bright as the moon, and there were so many of them. There was no way you’d be able to see this many stars from London or any other big cities. 

“I guess this is one of the perks of going to school in a remote castle in Scotland.” Remus said, also amazed by all the stars. Sirius laughed. 

“Ya...ya I guess it is.”. The two boys just stared up at the brilliant sky for a while. Seeing how pretty the stars looked. It was a funny thing, the stars were actually just flaming balls of fire billions of miles away that would kill both of them if they got anywhere near those stars. But from here they just looked like beautiful specks of light illuminating the dark black sky. A cold breeze came rushing through the field and Sirius shuddered. Remus moved a little closer to Sirius to try to stop him from shivering. 

“Thanks.” Sirius said quietly. Sirius looked up a bit higher and saw the sliver of silver moon casting almost blue light around them. 

“Is the moon scary when it isn’t full?” Sirius asked. 

“Not so much,” Remus replied, “ it’s more like a...like a bomb, you know? Like it’s ticking down until the full moon, and then there’s an explosion, and the timer starts ticking again.” 

“So you have a bomb strapped to you at all times?” 

“Metaphorical bomb, but yes.” 

“That sucks. 

“It does, but all you can do is work with what you’ve got.” 

“Ya..ya your right.” there were a couple seconds of seconds of silence before Sirius spoke up again. 

“Do you think I should just work with my family?” Sirius asked. 

“No. Your family is an exception. You should just work through them.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Walk out of their pretentious house and never be seen by them again. Flipping them off for good measure.”, Sirius laughed. 

“Ah, if only it were that easy.” 

“It is, you know you and I are always welcome at the Potter’s. Hell, stay with me. I hate the idea of you going back there.” 

“I just don’t know if-”

“I-we care about you, Sirius. We just want to make sure you're safe. Like when you guys became Anigmagi, you were looking out for me. We’ll always look out for you, Sirius.”. Sirius was quiet for a moment, before shifting even closer to Remus. 

“Thank you.” Sirius whispered. The boys then went quiet for a while. They just stared up at the stars. The bright bursts of energy hurtling through space, just a beautiful, calming spectacle. Sirius felt safer than he had in awhile. He wasn’t thinking about his mother, or the rest of his family, or the stress of school and Quidditch, he was just stargazing. He just stared up at the stars. He felt warm despite the cold breeze that night. Sirius sighed and spoke up again. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sirius asked quietly. Remus took a while to respond. Suddenly, Sirius felt a hand on his cheek. It took himself a couple seconds to process what was happening. Why was Remus’s hand on his cheek? He looked up and saw Remus staring at him. His eyes were almost impossible to read. Remus was hard to read on a daily basis, but that was normally because Sirius couldn’t detect any emotions in his eyes, but right now there were a lot. Remus’s eyes were flooded with emotion as he stared at Sirius. Sirius looked back at Remus. He realised that his eyes were rather beautiful when there was so much in them. Sirius then saw a flash of light in Remus’s eyes and saw the stars reflected in them. The stars and the moonlight danced with the hopefulness and the longing. Sirius realised he could look into his eyes forever, but Remus broke eye contact. But only for a split second. Remus looked down at Sirius’s lips and then right back into his eyes. What was happening? Part of Sirius told him to run. To run out of the field and back down to the passageway. But that was the scared part of Sirius, the small part. The bigger part wanted to stay there. To keep looking at Remus, to keep his arm around him and never let him go. Remus inched his face slightly closer to Sirius’s. Sirius felt Remus’s breath on his forehead. He felt Remus’s hand on his cheek, and he felt Remus’s arm around his shoulders. When Sirius didn’t object, Remus moved his face even closer to Sirius’s. Their lips were almost touching, but not quite. Sirius still didn’t know what was happening. He still didn’t know why this was happening, he just knew he didn’t want it to stop. He was suddenly very aware of everything around him. He was aware of the stars in the sky, he was aware of the grass below him, and he was aware of Remus most of all. Then, very slowly, Remus pressed his lips against Sirius’s. Before Sirius could think about what was happening, he kissed Remus back. It felt weird, but it also felt right, like they were supposed to do it. Sirius smiled slightly as he kissed Remus. Remus broke away for a moment, but continued to keep close to Sirius. For a moment, only a moment, Sirius heard his mother’s voice in his head. “ _ Why can’t you be a good heir?!”  _ it said. Sirius looked down for a second. He felt a sort of shame. He hated feeling like that, giving his mother control over him. Letting her voice get to him. Sirius felt a small tear form in his eye, but then he felt Remus’s hand on his chin. He gently pushed his head upwards so he was facing Remus again. He made eye contact with Remus again and everything else seemed to melt away. The only thing that he cared about was him. Sirius cupped Remus’s cheek and kissed him again. They kissed for a long time before they finally broke apart. When they did, their breathing was heavy and they were both smiling. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t put that passage on the map.” Remus whispered. Sirius laughed lightly and kissed Remus again. 

“Do you think we should head back to the dorm?” Remus asked quietly. Sirius was slightly disappointed. He wished he could just stay here with Remus forever, but he knew that things like reality got in the way sometimes. Remus got up first and started towards the bottom of the Astronomy Tower again. Sirius quickly scrambled to his feet to catch up with Remus. He caught up with Remus and grabbed his hand. Remus smiled and quickly kissed the top of Sirius’s head. They made their way back to their dorm without saying much of anything, they didn’t really need to. They made their way back up to their dorm and slowly crept into the room, careful to not wake up James and Peter. Their beds were on opposite sides of the room, so they were left in the middle of the room, each waiting for the other to move. But neither of them wanted to. Then, Sirius kissed Remus again, it was the only thing he really wanted to do. He then reluctantly backed away from Remus towards his own bed. 

“Goodnight.” Sirius whispered. 

“Goodnight.” Remus whispered as he also made his way to his bed across the room. Sirius took off his shoes and crawled back into his bed. Sirius sighed and closed his eyes. He was really happy he went stargazing. 


	10. Double Dog Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: The Marauders go to a pub on Sirius's motorbike  
> CW: Swearing

“This is a bad idea.” James said. 

“All of our ideas are bad, Prongs.” Sirius replied. 

“The worst punishment we got for those was detention. We could die doing this.” Remus said. 

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Sirius asked. 

“There’s a difference between a sense of adventure and a will to die!” Remus exclaimed. Sirius sighed and crossed his arms. 

“I’m gonna say it.” he said. 

“You wouldn't.” Remus said. 

“Please don’t, Sirius.” Peter pleaded. 

“Sirius I swear to Merlin if you say it.” James warned. But Sirius just smirked. 

“I double dog dare you guys to go to a pub on my motorbike!” Sirius said. 

“Oh, sweet fuck.” Remus said. The marauders had made a pact when they were eleven years old, and they had followed it ever since. If someone says ‘I double dog dare you’, you either have to do what they’re asking or they get to create another dare for you to do instead. Of course, the rule doesn't apply to homework or detentions. All of them knew Sirius made the worst dares. James had to run naked across the Quidditch field during practice because he wouldn’t ask out another girl in fifth year. Peter had to give Dumbledore a big bouquet of roses in front of everyone in the great hall because he couldn’t flirt with Evan Rosier. The pact had been the cause of a plethora of detentions, screaming matches, and even a couple punches, but they never broke it. The pact had been going on for seven years now, so if one of them broke it, the others would be really mad. 

“Sirius, we could die.” Remus said. 

“Then we’ll go out in style. Hop on!” Sirius said as he turned the key in the ignition of his motorbike. 

“How are we all going to fit on that thing?” Remus asked. 

“Remus will sit behind me and James and Peter can sit in the mini-car.” Sirius said. 

“That’s a pretty tight fit…” James said. 

“You’ll be fine. Come on!” Sirius said. He beckoned the other three from his motorbike. 

“We’re so going to die.” Peter said. 

“Oh well.” Remus muttered. Sirius took his seat on the driver's seat and the three other marauders followed behind him. Remus took his place behind Sirius and strapped a helmet to his head. 

“We aren’t going to die, Moony. Relax.” Sirius said. 

“This is a basic safety measure considering this is a flying death box.” Remus replied. 

“Well I know how to drive the flying deathbox, so you two hop in.” Sirius pointed to James and Peter and they awkwardly squished into the sidecar. 

“Ready??” Sirius said excitedly. 

“No, not in the slightest.” Remus replied. 

“Brilliant!” Sirius exclaimed. Sirius pressed the gas as hard as he could and they took off down the road. 

“Slow down, Sirius!” Peter exclaimed. 

“Never.” Sirius said. He pushed the red button to his right and the motorbike started to lift off of the ground. 

“Holy shit holy shit holy shit!” Remus yelled. 

“I know, right?!” Sirius yelled back.

“How did you talk us into this?!” Remus asked. 

“I have no idea!” Peter yelled. His voice was quivering. He was definitely the most scared out of the four. They ascended into the air higher and higher until the people walking on the ground looked like mere ants. 

“Why are we so high?” James asked. 

“Because it’s fun, Prongs!” Sirius responded. 

“It’s also deadly. For fucks sake I have a wife!” James yelled. 

“Well we don’t, so we have a reason to die, and you're dying with us dammit!!” Sirius yelled back. 

“Your delusional!” James yelled. 

“Maybe. But I’m a lot more fun than you!” Sirius yelled. 

“Sirius I swear to Merlin-what the fuck!!!” James screamed. Sirius took the driving stick and nose dived the motorbike. The four of them screamed as they plummeted down to the ground. 

“Sirius you are a fucking dead man!” Remus yelled. Sirius laughed and jerked the driving stick up again. With the sudden change, James jerked to the side and went tumbling out of the car. Peter looked to the side and reached his hand out as a reflex. James grabbed Peter’s hand at the last second. 

“Sirius what the fuck!” James screamed. 

“You might die and your first reaction is to fucking yell at me?!” Sirius screamed back. 

“Everyone stop!” Remus screamed. 

“I’m losing my grip!” Peter yelled nervously. 

“Peter I swear to Merlin if you let him go I will fucking eat you with my god-forsaken morning tea!” Remus threatened. Remus fished his wand out of his pocket as quickly as he could pointed it as James. 

“ _ Wingardium Leviosa!” _ Remus yelled. James fell out of Peter’s grip and floated through the air next to them. James desperately grabbed for the door of the sidecar. 

He climbed over the door and into the car next to Peter. 

“Sirius land this damn thing right now!” James yelled. 

“We’re in the middle of a wheat field! There’s nowhere to land!” Sirius yelled back. 

“Bloody hell, Pads. I could have died!” James said. 

“Well, ya didn't.” Sirius said. 

“Sirius!” Remus scolded. 

“Fine. I’m sorry you almost died.” Sirius groaned. 

“You don’t sound very sincere.” Peter said over the wind. 

“I’m sorry, James. Cross my heart and hope to fucking die!” Sirius yelled as he piloted his glorified death mobile. 

“How ironic!” James yelled. 

“Sirius just don’t pull anymore stunts for the rest of the trip!” Remus yelled. 

“Fineeeee.” Sirius groaned. They made the rest of the trip with no other distractions. It was only a couple more miles. When they started to see buildings in the distance, Sirius started to lower the bike. 

“Be careful, Sirius!” James exclaimed as he gripped the side of the car. 

“I know what I’m doing, Prongs!” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. 

“You have to be fucking joking!” James yelled. 

“Hey! I am a motorbike god!” Sirius replied. 

“This is not necessary!” Remus interjected. James and Sirius always had little arguments like this, they never really meant anything within five minutes. Remus started timing it in second year. Longest they’d ever been mad at each other was 5 minutes and 43 seconds, when Sirius flirted with Lily as a joke in fifth year and James saw him. But Sirius offered to do his homework for a week and they were ok after that. 

Sirius lowered the vehicle as slowly as he could, but he still got warnings from James every three seconds. 

“Slow down, Sirius!” James yelled. 

“Trust me, Prongs!” Sirius yelled back. 

“Forgive me if my trust in you is eternally destroyed!” James shot back. After a long time, Sirius got the motorbike to land on the ground. Sirius parked the bike in an alley and put some protection charms on it. James, Remus, and Peter all scrambled out of the bike as soon as they touched the ground. 

“I’m gonna kill you one day, Sirius.” James said in a deadpan tone. 

“Look, Prongs. Sometimes you gotta expect the unexpected, a skill I have mastered. James rolled his eyes and raised his hand before backhanding Sirius across the face.

“Expect that? Fuckface?” James asked. 

“The fuck?” Sirius asked, rubbing his cheek. 

“You deserved it, Pads.” Remus interjected. Sirius paused for a second. 

“Perhaps, but that was still a weak slap.” Sirius said. 

“You deserved to get bitchslapped. You’re stupid sometimes.” Remus replied. Sirius paused again for a few seconds. 

“Whatever, let’s just go drink.” Sirius replied. 

“Sounds like a brilliant plan.” James said. The four of them walked out of the alley and down the block. 

“Where are we going?” Peter asked. 

“The first pub we come across.” Sirius replied nonchalantly. 

“You dragged us all the way here with no plan.” James said. 

“I never make the plan. I just do the dangerous part.” Sirius replied. 

“Oh, we all knew that.” James said. The four of them walked another block before they came across a small pub. 

“Let’s go there!” Sirius said, and pointed to the pub across the street. 

“It seems kind of sketchy.” Peter said. 

“How would you know if it’s sketchy?” Sirius asked. 

“It just seems like it.” Peter replied. 

“We’re wizards, Pete! If something happens we’ll just whip out our wands. And we’ll call the Ministry and tell them it was life or death.” Sirius said. 

“That’s a bad idea.” Peter said. 

“I’m actually with Sirius on this one, nothing will go wrong in a muggle pub.” James said. Peter sighed and turned to Remus. Remus looked at James and Sirius, and then at Peter. He ran his hand through his hair. 

“Fuck it.” Remus said. 

“Yes!” Sirius said. 

“Let’s go!” James said as he and Sirius started to cross the street. Peter took a deep breath. 

“If we die it’s your fault.” Peter said. 

“Then I’m sorry in advance.” Remus said as he and Peter followed James and Sirius across the street. The four of them crossed the street and walked into the small pub. The place couldn't have been larger than 900 square feet. There were about ten people already in the bar. There was dim light coming from the lights on the ceiling. The bartender serving drinks had long white hair and was wearing a leather jacket with no sleeves. 

“I didn’t know Dumbledore was a bartender.” Remus commented. 

“Shut up!” Sirius said laughing. The four of them walked into the bar and sat down at a table in the back. 

“I’ll go get drinks!” Sirius said as he walked towards the bar. 

“I told you guys this place was sketchy.” Peter said as he looked around. 

“It looks fine, Pete.” Remus said. 

“Are we looking at the same pub?” Peter asked. 

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.” James said. 

“I don’t read for fun.” Peter said. 

“Oh, we knew that.” Remus said. 

“Oh, shut up, Moony.” Peter muttered. 

“Ok, I got us some beer.” Sirius said as he approached the table balancing four glasses or light brown liquid. 

“Be careful, Sirius! Don’t spill that.” James said. 

“I got it I got it.” Sirius replied. He carefully set the glasses down on the table and sat down next to Remus. 

“What is this?” James asked as he picked up his glass. 

“I have no idea.” Sirius said. He took a sip of his drink and immediately spit it out. 

“Merlin, Pads!” Remus exclaimed. 

“That tastes like hippogriff piss.” Sirius said as he wiped his mouth. 

“How do you know what hippogriff piss looks like?” Peter asked. 

“It’s a metaphor, Pete.” Sirius said. 

“Why don’t we just go to the leaky cauldron?” Remus asked. 

“We came all the way here, though.” Sirius said. 

“Well I’m not drinking hippogriff piss.” James said. 

“It’s not actually hippogriff piss, James.” Peter said. 

“Well, no shit.” James said. 

“Let’s just go get some firewhiskey.” Sirius said. 

“I told you that this was a stupid idea.” Peter said. 

“It was still fun.” Sirius said. 

“Yes. almost falling to my death was a blast.” James said sarcastically. 

“Emphasis on the almost, Prongs. You’re fine.” Sirius said. James mumbled something inaudible and the four of them left the pub. They walked out of the dingy pub and back down the street. 

“Where did you park the bike, Sirius?” Peter asked. 

“Two blocks I think.” Sirius replied. 

“You think?” Remus asked. 

“Trust me!” Sirius exclaimed. 

“That’s quite a big request, Pads.” Remus replied. 

“You guys a bunch of arseholes.” Sirius said. 

“You definitely aren’t above us.” James interjected. Sirius paused. 

“Ok, fine that’s fair.” Sirius replied. The four of them walked down the street until they came to the alley Sirius parked the motorbike. But right in front of the alley there was a police car with the red and blue light illuminated. 

“Well shit.” Remus said. 

“It might not be about the bike.” Sirius said. 

“Fat chance.” James scoffed. The four of them crossed the street to the alley to find a police officer inspecting Sirius’s motorbike. 

“Told you.” Remus said quietly. Sirius ignored Remus and walked towards the officer. 

“Good evening officer. Is there a problem?” Sirius asked. 

“Ya, there is. Ya can’t park these bikes in alleys. It’s against the law.” The officer said in a gruff voice. 

“Of course, officer. It will not happen again.” Sirius said in a sincere voice. But the marauders knew he was full of shit. 

“I’m gonna write you up a ticket and then I’m gonna need to see some I.D.” The officer said as he walked back to his car. 

“Shit, I don’t have an I.D!” Sirius whispered loudly. 

“Yes, Sirius we know.” Remus said. 

“Well what the fuck do we do?” Sirius asked frantically. 

“I don’t know!” James said. Sirius paused for a second. 

“What are you doing?” Peter asked. 

“I’m thinking.” Sirius replied. 

“That’s not gonna help!” James said. 

“Ok ok ok ok ok….we need to go.” Sirius said. 

“What do you mean?” Peter asked. 

“We’re just gonna get back on the bike and go.” Sirius replied. 

“That is your worst idea!” James said. 

“If we go with that police officer he’s gonna realize we don’t have any muggle IDs and then he’s gonna take us to jail with no one to bail us out. For fucks sake this thing flys. We’ll be fine, but we can’t go with that officer.” Sirius said. The other three paused for a second. Then James groaned. 

“Fine, fine let’s go. Hurry up.” James whispered. 

“Are you crazy?” Peter asked frantically. 

“No, I’m a regular person that is being forced to make a crazy decision because I have a friend that's crazy.” James said as he climbed into the sidecar. “Get it, Wormtail!” James said. Peter paused for a few seconds. 

“Shit..” Peter muttered before he climbed into the sidecar next to James. 

“Ready?” Sirius asked. 

“No.” the three other marauders replied. 

“Great!” Sirius exclaimed. Sirius slammed his foot on the gas. 

“Shit!” James exclaimed. They rode down the alley and Sirius took a hard turn down to the sidewalk and into the street. They faintly heard the police officer yelling at them to come back. A couple seconds later they heard the sirens of the police car behind them. 

“Shit, they’re following us, Sirius!” Remus yelled. 

“I got it!” Sirius said. Sirius jerked the stick and took a sharp left turn. 

“Fucking shit!” James exclaimed. The cop car followed them down the road. 

“He’s still there!” Remus yelled. Sirius turned down an alleyway to the next street over. 

“That’s illegal, Sirius!” Peter yelled. 

“Everything we’re doing right now is illegal!” Sirius yelled back. 

About 200 meters down the street there was a tunnel. 

“I have an idea!” Sirius said. 

“I don’t like where that’s going!” James said. Sirius pulled his wand out of his pocket. 

“Sirius be careful!” James said. 

“Hold on tight!” Sirius yelled. He changed lanes so he would be at the edge of the tunnel. 

“ _ Epoximise!”  _ Sirius said as he pointed his wand at the tunnel wall. He turned left and drove the bike up the wall. 

“Sirius what the fuck!” James yelled as he gripped the side of the bike. 

“Oh my fucking god you’re fucking crazy!” Remus yelled.

“Shut up!” Sirius yelled back. Sirius drove up and around the side of the tunnel before landing on the other side of the road. 

“Sirius this is the wrong side of the street!” Pete yelled. 

“No shit!” Sirius replied. Sirius avoided all the cars coming their way as they honked around them. 

“Sirius we’re going to crash!” James yelled. 

“We’re fine!” Sirius replied. Sirius maneuvered his way down the tunnel until they came out on the other side. He took a sharp turn and parked in another alleyway. 

“Jesus fucking Christ Sirius we could have died like ten times!” Remus yelled. 

“But we didn’t!” Sirius said happily as he got off his motorbike again. 

“I’m never doing one of your dares again.” James said, breathing heavily. 

“That’s not true.” Sirius said. 

“Sirius I genuinely think you're going to die on that thing.” Peter said. 

“I’m not going to die, and neither are you guys, let’s go.” Sirius said as he walked towards his bike. 

“Hell fucking no.” James said. And with a *POP* he apparated away. Peter laughed and apparated after James. 

“Remus…” Sirius said carefully. 

“Sirius…”Remus said back. 

“Pleaseeee ride back with me.” Sirius pleaded. 

“That seems really dangerous, Sirius.” Remus sighed. 

“But I hate flying alone, please Moony?” Sirius asked. Remus sighed. 

“Fine, but only if you’re careful.”. 


	11. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Remus goes to a frat party (Modern No-Magic AU)  
> CW: Swearing, Drinking, Weed

Remus stood outside of the Delta Psi frat house. He was contemplating whether he should go in or go back to his dorm. He hadn’t been out in a while, ever since his breakup with John Mcglaggen. They had dated for six months before he cheated on him with Evan Rosier. I mean, Evan Rosier?! Really? Evan Rosier was a pretentious asshole that lived in the dorm right across from John. He was a business major and he wore navy blazers everyday. I mean Jesus Christ. He knew he should get out more, that was kinda the point of college, but going to a party at a frat house did not seem like fun to him. He was going to go home and text Lily some excuse about how he couldn’t make the party when he heard a voice from the porch of the house.

“Remus!” Lily called. She ran down the stairs to the porch and down to the sidewalk where Remus was. Her red hair was in a high ponytail, she was wearing a pair of denim shorts and a floral top, and she was carrying a red solo cup in her right hand. 

“I’m glad you made it!” Lily said excitedly. 

“Ya, thanks for inviting me. Are you sure it’s ok with James?” Remus asked. 

“Oh ya, he was actually happy that you were coming. He thinks you're cool.” Lily replied. 

“He’s only met me a couple times.” 

“Ya but he thinks you're cool.”

“Right, then.” Remus paused for a second. 

“You have to actually go in, Remus.” Lily said. 

“Are you sure?” Remus asked. Lily rolled her eyes. 

“Come onnnnn” Lily said. She grabbed Remus’s arm and started to drag him into the house. Remus laughed. 

“Alright alright, no need to drag me.” Remus said. They made their way up the stairs and into the house. The two were instantly met with loud EDM music. There were tons of other students roaming around the house either drinking, talking, dancing, or making out. The house was at least ten degrees hotter than the outside. 

“This was a bad idea.” Remus said. 

“No it wasn’t, come on. Let’s get you a drink.” Lily replied. The two maneuvered their way through the house and into the kitchen. In the kitchen there were multiple packs of light beer, bottles of cheap vodka, and a huge bowl of a suspicious looking punch with a plastic ladle inside it. 

“Can you hold this for me?” Lily asked. 

“Ya, sure.” Remus replied. Lily handed Remus her drink and Remus took it and put his hand over the top. Lily walked over to the bowl of punch and poured some of it into another red solo cup from a stack next to the bowl. She walked back over to where Remus was standing with her drink. He handed her drink back to her and she handed his drink to him. 

“What is this, may I ask?” Remus asked. 

“I don’t really know. But it's good, and James made it.” Lily replied. Remus tried the mysterious liquid and it tasted like it was at least 75% vodka. Remus flinched. 

“At least it’s alcohol.” Remus said. 

“Exactly! You’re gonna need it.” Lily replied. 

“Remus!” yelled a voice from across the room. Remus and Lily turned around to see James with a beer in his hand making his way towards them. 

“Glad you made it!” James said. Remus thought James was a nice guy, if a little loud. 

“Ya, thanks for letting me come.” Remus replied. 

“Oh, no problem. The more the merrier.” James said. 

“I don’t know if that's a good motto to go by, James. Last time the cops came.” Lily said. 

“That wasn’t our fault! Our neighbors are a bunch of bitches.” James replied. 

“James!” Lily scolded. She punched him in the arm, but not hard. Remus laughed, Lily was pretty funny. James took a swig of his beer. 

“Remus, there's some guys I want you to meet.” James said. Remus quickly glanced at Lily who gave him an encouraging look. 

“I’d love to meet them.” Remus replied. 

“Brilliant!” James said, “Follow me.”. He started to make his way through the crowd of students and Remus quickly grabbed Lily’s hand so he wouldn’t get lost. God knows if he would make it out. The three of them made their way from the kitchen to one of the living rooms in the house. There weren’t as many people in this room compared to the kitchen, but there were still a decent amount of kids. There were a couple couches and chairs with people occupying them, but one couch was empty. 

“Hello guys!” James yelled over the commotion, “I have brought company.”. James brought Remus and Lily to the empty couch where the three of them sat down. 

“You guys know Lily, and this is her friend Remus.” James said, gesturing to the both of them. 

“Are you sure they’re just friends?” asked one of the boys on the opposite couch. He had dusty blond hair and was a little heavyset. 

“I’m gay.” Remus replied. The boy chuckled nervously. 

“Oh, ok. Sorry.” he said. 

“What for?” Remus asked.

“Uh-er...nothing. I’m Peter, nice to meet you.” Peter replied. 

“Nice to meet you, Peter.” Remus said. 

“Right, well that’s Marlene and Dorcas, that’s Mary, that’s Gideon and Fabian, and that’s Sirius and John.” James said. Remus immediately turned his head towards where James pointed when he said the name John, and lo and behold there was his ex, sitting on the couch next to the one Remus was in. Remus wanted to get up and leave. He wanted to walk out of that house and uber right back to his dorm and sulk for the rest of the night, but he didn’t. He straightened his back and looked away from John. 

“It’s nice to meet you all.” Remus said to the group. He prayed that John wouldn’t say anything and they could just pretend not to know each other, but of course he always had something to say. 

“I didn’t know you knew these guys, Remus.” John said. 

“Ya, I do.” Remus replied flatly. He did not want to talk to him. 

“Do you two know each other?” Sirius asked. John nodded. 

“We used to know each other.” Remus replied. John looked confused and opened his mouth to speak again but thankfully Lily interrupted him. 

“I’m going to get another drink, anyone else?” Lily asked as she stood up from the couch. Remus immediately chugged the rest of his punch and followed Lily back to the kitchen. 

“What is he doing here?” Remus asked frantically. 

“I don’t know! James didn’t know you knew each other, otherwise he wouldn’t have had you talk to him.” Lily replied. 

“This is terrible.” Remus said, running his hand through his hair. He did that when he was stressed. 

“I wouldn’t blame you if you went home at this point.” Lily said as she made her way to the punch bowl, “I mean, I don’t even want to talk to that asshole.”. Remus thought for a second before he made his decision. 

“No.” he replied. 

“What?” Lily asked. 

“I’m not going to leave. I’m going to go back there and completely ignore him and I’m gonna be fun and I’m going to have fun and meet new people because I’m not a broken little sob story. I’m hot shit.”. 

“Your hot shit?” Lily asked. 

“Don’t question it.” Remus said as he filled up his cup, “Let’s go.”. 

“It’s interesting to see you being so confident.” Lily said. 

“I’m always confident.” Remus replied, “I’m also slightly drunk.”. Lily laughed. 

“If you insist.” she replied. The two of them made their way back through the sea of students and into the room with all the couches. 

“We’re back!” Lily announced cheerfully before sitting down next to James. Remus waved awkwardly and sat down next to Lily. 

“What were you guys talking about?” Lily asked. 

“Well Dorcas  _ supposedly _ -” Mary said

“Not supposedly! It’s true!” Dorcas interrupted. 

“I’m still not convinced. Anyway Dorcas says she caught Professor Binns and Professor Slughorn in Binns’s office making out.” Mary said. 

“Oh, gross!” Lily exclaimed. Remus shuddered.

“I did  _ not _ need that picture in my head.” Remus said. 

“Well, no one can deny the  _ chemistry _ .” James said grinning. All of them groaned. James was funny, but sometimes he made the worst dad jokes. Binns and Slughorn were both chemistry professors, and both were infamous for being hard on the students. No one liked their classes. 

“Can we please stop talking about Binns and Slughorn's supposed relationship?” Peter said. 

“Did anyone ever take their classes?” Fabian asked, seemingly ignoring Peter’s request. 

“I took Slughorn’s class last year. I did alright.” Sirius said. 

“You got a C+, Sirius.” Lily said. Sirius pretended to be offended. 

“Well you only got an A because you were in the coveted Slug Club.” Sirius said. 

“What’s the Slug Club?” Remus asked. He hadn’t taken Binns’s or Slughorn’s class. 

“Slughorn totally plays favorites. We call his favorites the Slug Club.” Sirius replied.

“That is not true!” Lily said. 

“Only someone who was in the Slug Club would say that.” Sirius said, tilting his chin up slightly. Remus noticed that he had a very nice facial structure. 

“Sorry, Lils. But he’s right.” James said, taking a sip of his beer. Lily scoffed. 

“Oh, whatever. I still did better than all of you.” Lily said. 

“Chem doesn’t even have anything to do with your major.” Remus said. 

“So?” Lily asked. 

“So it doesn’t really matter.” Remus replied. 

“What’s your major, Remus?” Sirius asked. 

“I’m majoring in Education.” Remus replied. 

“Oh, god. Good luck. I could never deal with kids all day.” Sirius said. 

“Well that’s why I plan on getting an airhorn.” Remus replied. Sirius laughed. 

“What’s your major?” Remus asked. 

“Oh, he’s undeclared.” Marlene replied. 

“It makes sense.” Gideon said, “He can never make decisions.”. 

“I can make decisions!” Sirius said. 

“No, you can’t.” John said. God, his voice was so annoying. It was like nails on a chalkboard, “How many outfits did you try on before you decided on that one?”. Sirius paused for a second and then frowned. 

“I’m not answering that.” he mumbled. 

“Exactly.” Marlene said. 

“Well, do you have any contenders?” Remus asked. Sirius interested him. He had long, black hair and a great bone structure, and his smile was great. 

“Well, I’m thinking maybe something artsy.” Sirius said. James laughed. 

“Sirius, you can’t draw.” John said. This annoyed Remus, even if it was only partly because John said it. 

“Art is subjective. You don’t have to be good at drawing to be a good artist.” Remus said. 

“Thank you, Remus! Glad someone here understands me.” Sirius said. 

“Oh, bullshit.” Marlene said. Remus laughed. Why was swearing so funny?

“Anyone wanna dance?” Mary asked. Everyone was in agreement except Remus. 

“I don’t dance.” Remus said. 

“Then you can jump up and down like everyone else, now come on!” Lily said, tugging on Remus’s arm. Remus rolled his eyes. 

“Fineee, but I’m not having fun.”. Remus followed the group out into the bigger room with the speakers and the DJ, but he felt another hand pulling him back into the room. Remus turned around to see John. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked. 

“Hanging out with my friends.” Remus replied, “What are you doing here?”. 

“Sirius brought me.” John replied. 

“Ok, well I’m gonna go out there now.” Remus replied. He turned around and started to leave. 

“Remus wait-” John started, but Remus cut him off. 

“Please stop talking to me.” Remus said coldly, and he walked out of the room. Remus found Lily and the others in the other living room dancing to a shitty remix of a shitty pop song. Lily always made fun of him saying he was a music snob. To be fair she was right. Remus half danced half jumped around for a while with the others until John came back into the room. Remus glared at him before going back to ignoring him. John walked over and said something to Sirius before walking out again. Sirius turned to the group.

“John’s going back to his dorm.” He said loudly over the music. 

“Oh no...that’s terrible….gonna miss him.” James said sarcastically. The rest of the group stifled laughs. 

“Ok you could at least pretend to like him.” Sirius said defensively. 

“He’s annoying, though.” Mary half-whined. 

“Is not!” Sirius said. 

“Is to!” Mary replied. Sirius opened his mouth to speak again before Dorcas cut in. 

“Ok, we could do this all night, but that would not be productive.” Dorcas said. Sirius mumbled something and Mary laughed. The group danced for a little while before Gideon and Fabian took off. They said something about having morning practice before leaving. It made sense, they were pretty buff guys. Marlene and Dorcas started making out and left pretty soon after that. Peter started yawning after a while and went home. Remus had no clue how someone could be tired with the music playing that loud. Then, it was just Lily, Mary, James, Sirius, and Remus. The party started to calm down and people started to slowly leave the party. The five of them went back to the other living room and James pulled out a bag with some weird smelling gummy bears. They each ate one and just talked on the couches for a bit. Lily fell asleep on James and he carried her up to his room. 

“Awwww” Mary said. 

“Shut up.” James replied, but he was blushing. 

“I want a boyfriend.” Mary said, slumping on the couch. 

“Isn’t Zabini your boyfriend?” Sirius asked. 

“Oh god no.” Mary replied, “He’s in Delta Sigma. All the guys there are assholes.”. 

“I have to agree.” Remus said. 

“Do you know anyone in there?” Mary asked. 

“I had to be partners with this guy named Lucious Malfoy for my English class. He was part of that frat. Just his name is pretentious.” Remus replied. Sirius laughed. 

“I know, who would name their kid Lucious?” Sirius asked. 

“I have no idea.” Remus replied. He was also laughing. Then Mary’s uber arrived and she left, leaving Remus and Sirius alone on the couch. There was a short silence. 

“I can go if-” Remus started. 

“No, no. Stay.” Sirius replied. Remus shrugged. 

“Ok.”. Sirius got a text on his phone. He looked at it before setting it down again. 

“Just John.” he said. Without thinking, Remus rolled his eyes at the mention of him. 

“Why don’t you like him? Didn’t you just meet him?” Sirius asked. 

“Did he not tell you about me?” Remus asked. Sirius shook his head. 

“Has he told you about any of his relationships?”

“He told me about Evan Rosier. He’s a bit of a prick, and he’s like my second cousin.”

“He’s dating Evan Rosier?”

“Ya, for like a month.” 

“That little skank.” Remus muttered. 

“What?” Sirius asked. 

“He cheated on me with Evan Rosier.” Remus said before he could even think about it. Sirius paused for a second before speaking. 

“That little skank!” Sirius exclaimed. 

“Right?!” 

“I mean, Evan Rosier. Really?” Sirius asked. Remus laughed. 

“What self respecting person would cheat on you with Evan Rosier?” Sirius said. Remus blushed slightly. 

“Thanks.” Remus said quietly. They both didn’t say anything for a few seconds, but Remus could never stand silences. 

“You have nice cheekbones.” Remus blurted out. Sirius laughed lightly. Sirius made eye contact with Remus. He had piercing grey eyes. Remus didn’t know what was happening, he was a little drunk and high. Everything else seemed to blur, except for him, Sirius, and the couch they were sitting on. Nothing else seemed to fully exist. Everything came crashing back when Remus felt a hand on his face between his jaw and his cheek. Sirius’s hand was soft, really soft. Before Remus could fully process that, he felt Sirius’s lips on his. Remus pulled away slightly, looking Sirius in the eye again. Sirius looked confused, and then hopeful. Remus looked from his eyes down to his lips and then kissed him again. They kissed for a while on that couch, Remus didn’t know exactly how long, but he knew it was a while. When he finally pulled away Sirius was smiling. 

“I think I like you.” Sirius whispered. 

“I like you too, Sirius.” Rems replied. 

“Would you wanna...er I don’t know...just..would you..” Sirius stuttered. 

“Do you wanna hang out?” Remus asked. Sirius laughed lightly. 

“Ya, that.” he replied. They exchanged phone numbers and Remus stood up to walk back to his dorm. 

“Wait, what’s your last name?” Remus asked. 

“Oh, it’s Black.” Sirius replied. 

“Your name is Sirius Black?” Remus asked. Sirius blushed slightly. 

“Ya, it’s really stupid but-” 

“No, no. I was gonna say it’s a really cool name.” Remus said. Sirius smiled. 

“What’s your last name?” Sirius asked. 

“Oh, it’s Lupin.” Remus replied. 

“Lupin? Like a wolf?” 

“How did you know that?” 

“I learned to speak Latin when I was a kid, I still remember some of it.” 

“Wow, that’s impressive.”, Sirius laughed. 

“Ya, my parents were big on being impressive.” 

“Well, I’ll see you soon, Sirius.” Remus said as he walked out the door.

“See you soon, Lupin.” Sirius replied.


	12. Karma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: The marauders get revenge on a group of Slytherins  
> CW: Swearing

“I still think it’s possible.” James said. 

“You’re delusional!” Sirius replied, nudging James in the arm. 

“He’s right, Prongs. I hate to say it but he is.” Remus said. 

“Oh come on! Pete, back me up here?” James asked. Peter hesitated for a second. 

“Sorry James, but Evans is a long shot.”. James groaned. 

“I really don’t appreciate your guys’s pessimism.” 

“It’s not pessimism, it’s realism.” Remus replied. 

“Well whatever -ism it is, I don’t like it.” James grumbled. 

“Your just butthurt because you got rejected by Lily Evans for the zillionth time.” Peter said, giggling. The four of them were walking towards the courtyard and as they turned the corner they saw a message painted on top of the stone walkway across the courtyard. In big, bold, ugly red letters, a message was painted on the grey stone. It read “ _ Mudbloods get out” _ . Right below the message was a group of slytherins snickering with their wands drawn. The group consisted of Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch Jr., Victor Crabbe, and Severus Snape. The rest of the students in the courtyard were younger, so they just gasped and whispered, staring at the red paint. 

“Holy shit.” Remus muttered. 

“Hell no.” James said. With that he started to walk across the courtyard towards the message and the slytherins. He stopped about ten feet from them and started muttering cleaning spells to get the paint off. 

“Get lost, Potter!” Rosier said louder than he needed to. The other marauders followed James and Sirius helped him clean off the paint. James ignored him and continued to clean the paint off of the wall. Rosier snorted. 

“I expected something like this from you, Black. Filthy blood traitor. Expeli-” Rosier started, but Remus was quicker than him. 

“ _ Confringo!”  _ Remus shouted. There was an explosion and Evan and the rest of the slytherins flew through the air. James and Sirius finished cleaning the paint off and lowered their arms. 

“Nice one, Remus!” Sirius exclaimed, “That was badass!”. 

“Oh, please.” Remus said. 

“How dare you! You filthy little half breed!” yelled Victor Goyle from the cloud of dust that was surrounding him. 

“Still kicked your arse!” Remus called back, causing the other marauders to start giggling. 

“ _ Stupefy!” _ Crouch cried, pointing his wand at James, but James blocked it before it could hit him. 

“Oi, calm down!” James yelled. Crouch rolled his eyes and cast the spell again. James deflected it and ducked behind the pillar to his left. 

“Scared, Potter?” Snape spat. James levitated a stone from the rubble of the explosion Remus caused and threw it in Snape’s direction before coming out from behind the pillar. 

“Are you crazy?!” Snape shouted. 

“Maybe!” James called back. Rosier let out a sort of growl before starting to cast curses at the four gryffindors. Sirius, Peter, and James started deflecting them and casting curses back. Remus rolled his eyes. 

“Are you stupid?  _ Confringo! _ ” Remus said, causing another explosion near the slytherins. They stumbled back and Snape’s wand flew out of his hand. James jumped up and caught it with his right hand. 

“Give me my wand, Potter!” Snape shrieked. 

“Oh yeah? Go fetch!” James called before throwing Snape’s wand across the courtyard. 

“You!” Snape growled. He was seething and beet red. He was about to lunge at James when the boys heard a voice yelling from across the courtyard. 

“What in Merlin’s name is going on here?!” it yelled. The marauders turned around to see Mcgonagal making her way towards the eight of them. Sirius started talking first. 

“Professor those four painted a very offensive message on-”, but he was interrupted by Snape. 

“They caused  _ two _ explosions in the courtyard-”, but he was interrupted by James. 

“You guys started it.”

“No we didn’t!” Crouch replied, and soon all eight of them were talking over each other trying to explain what had happened. 

“Boys!” Mcgonagal yelled, and everyone was silent, “We are all going to walk to my office and I’m going to speak to all of you.” she said harshly. The marauders went silent and the slytherin boys startled mumbling and grumbling as they strode towards the castle, chins high. The group walked in silence to Mcgonagal’s office, while Mcgonagal spoke one in a while to remind them how inappropriate their behavior was. When they arrived at Mcgonagal’s office, she took the slytherins in first, leaving the marauders out in the hall. 

“What do we do?” Peter asked nervously, “Should we run for it?” 

“She’s our teacher, Wormtail. She’ll find us in an hour.” Remus said. 

“Well, what do we tell her?” Sirius asked. “There’s no evidence that the message was there because we erased it, so it looks like we just attacked other students.” 

“That is not what it looks like. Mcgonagal knows we know better.” James said. 

“Does she though?” Remus asked, “Last week you made the knights chase after the hufflepuffs for shits and giggles.” 

“Shit.” James muttered. 

“Shit is right.” Remus replied. 

“Ok, why don’t we just tell the truth?” Sirius asked. 

“Now you want to tell the truth? You can’t go a day without lying your arse off.” Peter said. 

“Shut it, Wormy.” Sirius said, “Let’s just say that they wrote an inappropriate message in the courtyard, we erased it, they tried to attack us and we defended ourselves.”. 

“That doesn’t really help when Remus blew up half the fucking courtyard.” James replied. 

“It was the first spell that came to me.” Remus said. 

“We’re gonna be fine. Worst thing they can do is expel us.” James said. 

“That would be very very bad, Prongs!” Peter said. 

“That’s very interesting, tell us more Wormtail.” Remus replied. Peter was about to respond when the doors to Mcgonagal’s office opened. Crouch, Rosier, Snape, and Crabbe all sauntered out of the room, looking rather proud of themselves. They sat down on the bench across the hall, and then Mcgonagal came out looking annoyed.

“Come in, boys.” she said as she walked back into her office. The four of them slowly made their way into her office. Mcgonagal’s office was big, but rather simple. There was a desk, with four chairs on one end and one on the other, along with a coffee table on the left side of the room. 

“Sit down.” Mcgonagal said as she took a seat on the opposite side of the desk. The four boys sat down across from her and waited for her to speak. 

“So, those Slytherin boys told me that you four walked up to them and started calling them names such as “evil wench” and “filthy inbreed”. Then proceeded to start hexing them. Is this true?” Mcgonagall asked. 

“They said that?” James asked in disbelief. 

“Yes. And I am asking if it’s true.”Mcgonagal repeated. 

“No, it’s not true!” exclaimed Sirius. 

“Control your volume, Mr. Black.” Mcgonagal said sternly, “Now, what happened.”. 

“They painted “Mudbloods get out” on the stone wall in the courtyard so we cleaned it and when they tried to cast hexes on us I blew up the stone around them.” Remus said. Mcgonagal stared at him blankly for a few seconds.

“Right then. I have to admit I wouldn’t put it past those four.”. The other marauders nodded furiously. 

“Well, I’m still going to have to give you four detention for blowing up the courtyard and attacking some other students, but it appears you had a cause. Send in the other four again, I’ll see you four in detention after dinner.”. The four of them nodded again and silently filed out of the room. Out in the hallway the Slytherins were still sitting there in silence on the bench across the hall. 

“She needs to see you four again.” Sirius mumbled before walking down the hallway back to the Gryffindor dorms with the rest of the marauders. 

“Well that’s bullshit.” James grumbled. 

“Technically she’s right, Prongs. We did hex other students.” Remus replied. 

“But they were being ignorant pricks!” James exclaimed. 

“Yeah!” Peter chimes in. 

“Well, there isn’t much we can do about it now.” Remus said. 

“We could prank them. We’re good at that.” Sirius said. 

“He’s right we are very good at that.” James said. 

“Right. Hey guys you painted a slur in the courtyard so we’re gonna put dung bombs in your dorms.” Remus replied. 

“Exactly!” Sirius said. 

“I was being sarcastic.” Remus said, rolling his eyes. 

“Well what do you propose we do?” James asked. 

“Wonder what in Merlin’s name was wrong with their parents?” Remus replied. 

“Oh, yeah. That’ll show them.” Sirius said. 

“I’m just saying I don’t think a prank will do anything to help.” Remus said. 

“I don’t want to help. I want to see them suffer.” Sirius said. 

“You're actually a psychopath.” Remus said. 

“We have to do  _ something _ , Remus. If we don’t do anything it’s like saying that they won.” James said. 

“We weren’t competing.” Remus replied. 

“We’re always competing!” Sirius exclaimed, “You know we always are. And I am not going to let them get away with this with just a detention and some house points taken away, so are you going to help us with the plan?”. Remus stared at Sirius for a couple seconds. 

“They do deserve it.” Peter said quietly. James nudged him in the arm. Remus sighed. 

“What are you planning on doing?” he asked. Sirius smiled. 

“Something at dinner, we’ll make a plan when we get back to the dorm.”. 

**\-------------------------------**

“We’re going to get expelled.” Remus said as he took a sip of his water. 

“We are not going to get expelled.” Sirius replied. 

“I find that unlikely.” Remus said. 

“Ok, well it’s too late now.” James said, “I think it’s great.”. 

“And the spells are super advanced!” Sirius said proudly. 

“We are going to scare the shit out of them.” Remus said. 

“That’s the spirit!” James said excitedly. Then, there was a whispering coming from James’s pocket. James took his walkie talkie out of his pocket and hunched over under the table so that no one would see it. Remus had bought them two sets of walkie talkies last Christmas. James had been so excited he would only communicate to people through the walkie talkies for two days. James whispered something that Remus and Sirius couldn’t hear from across the table and then put the device back in his pocket, grinning. 

“We’re ago.” James said quietly. 

“Shit.” Remus muttered under his breath. The three of them took out their wands and pointed them at the windows on the left wall. The Slytherin table was at the far left, meaning the windows were right next to them. 

“Ready?” James whispered. Remus and Sirius nodded. 

“ _ Confringo.” _ the said in unison, quietly so no one else could hear them The windows broke and the fragments rained down on the Slytherin table. The hall erupted in screams from girls and cries from younger slytherins. Evan Rosier let out a scream so high pitched that at first James thought it was a girl. James laughed. 

“Karma’s a bitch, Rosier!” James called to the Slytherin table. 

“James!” Remus exclaimed. 

“Mcgonagal was gonna know it was us anyway.” James said. 

“We’re so dead!” Sirius said, laughing. 

“Yeah, I know!” Remus replied. Just then, Dumbledore stood up from his chair. 

“SILENCE!” he boomed. The hall went quiet, except for some whispers and murmurs here and there. 

“Now, whoever thought it was funny to throw glass on other students was sorely mistaken. Everyone please exit the Great Hall at once as we get to the bottom of this.” Dumbledore said sternly. 

“Shit. We’re totally screwed!” Remus whispered. 

“We’ll be fine, mate.” James whispered back. They looked towards the corner where Peter was, but he wasn’t there anymore. 

“He must’ve made a mad dash after Dumbledore made his announcement.” Sirius said. As they started to shuffle out of the Great Hall, they heard a voice behind them. 

“Potter, Black, and Lupin!” it called loudly. It was Mcgonagal, standing next to a very stern looking Dumbledore. 

“Told you.” Remus whispered. The three of them shuffled back up to the teachers table, fighting against the other students leaving the Great Hall. Some students gave them sympathetic looks, others whispered “Good luck.” to them, and they got a whole bunch of dirty looks from Slytherins. They slowly made it to the teachers table and stood in front of Dumbledore and Mcgonagal. 

“Did you pull that stunt?” Mcgonagal asked. 

“Sort of.” James replied. Mcgonagal sighed. 

“I know what those Slytherin boys did is not ok, and they have been punished, but pouring glass on them and their housemates-” 

“Wait, Professor, do you think we made it rain glass on them?” Sirius asked. 

“That is what it looks like.” Dumbledore said. 

“We did not make it rain glass on the Slytherins, we transfigured the glass into plastic. It was completely harmless, and we know some very simple charms to repair the windows. All we did was give them a good scare.” Sirius said. Dumbledore and Mcgonagal were silent for a minute before Dumbledore spoke up. 

“You transfigured all those windows to plastic? I have to say that’s rather impressive magic.” 

“Albus!” Mcgonagal scolded. 

“It was impressive magic, Minerva.” Dumbledore replied. Mcgonagal actually rolled her eyes. Rolled her eyes!

“Another week's detention, boys. And you have to fix those windows. And ten points deducted  _ each. _ ” Mcgonagal said, “I honestly cannot believe you boys sometimes, I mean, destruction of property is very serious, we could have you expelled if we wanted-”

“I told you!” Remus said to Sirius and James.

“We are not going to expel you three, no matter how tempting.” Dumbledore said calmly. 

“For goodness sake, go back to your dorms and stay there.” Mcgonagal said. 

“Yes, Professor.” the three boys said monotonously before walking back out of the Great Hall. When they were out of Mcgonagal and Dumbledore’s view, James smirked and jumped up and down. 

“That was brilliant!” he said quietly. 

“We got off incredibly easy.” Remus said. 

“I know! That’s what's so brilliant!” James replied. 

“Do you think they’ll ever pull a stunt like that again?” Sirius asked. 

“Them or us?” Remus asked. 

“Them! They knew it was us. I mean, they thought we actually made it rain glass on them because they were being pricks.” Sirius replied. The three of them laughed. 

“I think we might all be psychopaths.” Remus said. 

“Karma's a bitch.” James said, still laughing. 


	13. Color Powder and Dung Bombs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for being here! So I have the attention span of a turkey so I can never write long stories, but I still want to write stories. So these are some short stories about my favorite people, the marauders. Some are about some of my favorite ships such as jliy, jegulus, and wolfstar. Some are just some very whacky marauders adventures that I wanted to write down. Disclaimer: Contains swearing, drinking, and mentions of war. Also Anti JKR. I hope you enjoy it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Description: Regulus gets roped into one of the Marauders's pranks  
> CW: Mentions of abuse

Regulus walked down the isles of books in the library, skimming the spines at his chest level. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular, he just wanted a break from the slytherin common room. He would never admit it, but sometimes he despised his common room. It was nice, but very cold. And it was really dark, he could never see a thing. He liked the library, though. It was nice and warm, and there was always light because of all the windows, and if it was dark the room was always charmed to be bright. He’d read most of the books about magic, but none of the muggle books they had in the library. The library had tons of muggle books, mostly for the muggle borns and half bloods. Regulus had never tried reading a muggle book, he thought it was pointless. Everytime he even walked over to this side of the library he heard a faint voice in his head, “ _ Those filthy muggles are pointless, don’t use anything made by them.” _ . It was his mother, of course. She told him that before he got on the Hogwarts Express for the first time. She had doubled down on Regulus staying pure after what happened with Sirius. Always telling him that he must be in Slytherin and he must stay pure. So he had never picked up one of these books. He saw the titles on the spines as he passed them.  _ “To kill a mockingbird”, “Crime and Punishment”, “Grapes of Wrath”, “Hamlet”.  _ His hand stopped on “ _ Hamlet” _ . He slowly took it out of it’s slot on the shelf, leaving room for the other books around it to slouch down a bit, no longer neat and orderly. The cover had a picture of a man holding up a skull. Sort of like an offering. At the top it read in big letters  _ “Shakespeare’s: Hamlet” _ . Regulus had heard of Shakespeare before. He was a famous author from a couple hundred years ago. Regulus thumbed through the pages and flipped to a random page. He couldn’t understand what Ophelia was saying, it was written in old english. He didn’t know why people still read Shakespeare if it was near impossible to understand, not to mention excessively morbid. Regulus put the book back in its place. There was no way he was going to read that. He was just about to pick up  _ “To kill a mockingbird” _ when he heard footsteps running down the library towards him. Regulus was in a rather obscure corner of the library, so he wondered who would be running back here. The footsteps got louder, the person was moving closer to Regulus’s isle. Regulus turned around and saw James Potter sprinting around the library. Regulus rolled his eyes, he wasn’t surprised it was James Potter. That actually seemed rather typical of him. James leaned on the bookshelf to Regulus’s left to catch his breath. Regulus just stood there. He didn’t really know what to say. James took a few deep breaths before looking up and making eye contact with Regulus. He smiled. James Potter smiled at Regulus Black. Why did he do that? Aren’t they supposed to hate each other? James held out his hand towards Regulus. Regulus’s eyes widened and he furrowed his eyebrows. Why was he doing this? 

“Come on!” James said, making a beckoning motion with his hand. 

“Why?” Regulus asked. It was all he could think to say. 

“You're welcome to stay if you want to be covered in dung bombs and color powder cannons.” James said. Regulus rolled his eyes, of course they were pulling a prank, but why was he helping him? 

“Are you coming or not?” James asked, his arm still extended in Regulus’s direction. Regulus paused for a second. He didn’t want to accept help from James Potter of all people, but he also did not want to be a victim of one of their stupid pranks. That would just be humiliating. Regulus sighed before taking James’s hand. James smiled again before racing towards the back of the library. Regulus stumbled a bit and had to sprint to keep up with him. He knew James worked out like a maniac. They ran all the way to the back of the library before turning left. The Hogwarts library was huge, it was at least 7,000 square feet. The two turned left and James stopped abruptly in front of the wall. 

“What are you doing?!” Regulus whispered. James looked at Regulus and smiled, his stupid signature smile. Regulus hated to admit it, even to himself, but James had a great smile. It could make anyone who was feeling sad feel better. James pressed on the wall in front of him and it opened into another hallway. 

“Getting out of here.” James said. Regulus fought the urge to roll his eyes, James was pretty cocky. James pulled Regulus into the hall before shutting the door behind them. Regulus didn’t know if it counted as a door, but he guessed it didn’t really matter. James and Regulus stopped right outside the door to catch their breath. After a few seconds Regulus started to comprehend that they were in complete darkness. Almost as if James had read his mind, Regulus heard James mutter a spell. 

“ _ Lumos Maxima.”  _ And with that the hallway in front of them was filled with a dim light. It was pretty dusty, but at least it was a stone hallway and not dirt. Regulus looked over to James who was pointing his wand down the hallway. He smirked and put his wand back in his pocket. Regulus and James looked down at the same time to see that they were both still holding hands. Regulus quickly jerked his hand away from James’s hand. James didn’t seem to be affected and just smiled at him again. 

“This way.” he said cheerfully, and started walking down the hallway. Regulus just followed him down the small hallway. 

“Where does this lead to?” Regulus asked. 

“Dungeons.” James replied. 

“When did you find this?” 

“Second year, Sirius and I were messing around instead of studying and found it.” 

“Why are we using it now?” 

“Because there are a ton of dung bombs and color powder bombs rigged to explode in about a minute.” 

“Why did you rig them?” 

“You ask a lot of questions.” 

“Well forgive me, but you dragged me from the library and into a secret passage, which was a little surprising.” James laughed at this. 

“Yeah, sorry about that, but I didn’t think you’d fancy being covered in pink color powder and smell like dung bombs.”

“Well why did you get me out, I thought the whole point of a prank was to have victims.” James laughed again. 

“I prefer not to call them victims. They’re just...witnesses.”

“Oh, that’s a much better name.” James cracked up again. He laughed a lot. It was very strange. 

“You’re funny, Black. I guess I just thought I should save someone. You are Sirius’s brother after all.” 

“You’re more of a brother to him than I am.” Regulus expected James to shut up after he said that. That was sort of the goal of the comment. James talked a lot. But he didn’t seem to be phased by what Regulus said, instead he did a half laugh half scoff. 

“Are you kidding? You grew up with him! He’s told me tons of stories about how you guys used to run around that huge house of yours and those little pranks you guys pulled-” 

“He told you about those?” Regulus hadn’t thought about those since first year. When he got sorted into Slytherin, he received a letter from his mother telling him that he must be perfect. He must not make trouble. So he stopped all of the funny business him and Sirius used to cause. At first he really missed it. He would see Sirius and his friends from Gryffindor running around the hallways and getting detentions, and at first he was jealous. At first he wanted to join them and run around the castle and get in trouble and get detention. But then he met the people in Slytherin. They detested Sirius and his friends, and Regulus remembered what he had to do. He had to be a perfect heir and fit in with the other people in his house, so he detested them too. He turned up his nose at their pranks and rolled his eyes with the rest of his friends when they were snorting with laughter at lunch. There was always that little part of him there, though. That part of him from his childhood, the one that likes running around like a maniac, snorting with laughter, but that wasn’t who he was now. He could never be that person, because that just isn’t what he was meant to do. 

“Totally! That time you two put makeup on those house elf heads? What I wouldn’t have given to see that.” Regulus smiled a bit. He remembered that prank. It had been Sirius’s idea, and he had sent Regulus into their parent’s bedroom to get the makeup. When their mother saw the house elves, she locked them both in the wine cellar for a night. That night the two of them had played a game to keep themselves busy. They found some pebbles in the corner of the cellar, along with some dirt. They had drawn a hopscotch board on the ground and used the pebbles to play. They played that game for hours, even though it should’ve only kept them occupied for a few minutes. They just enjoyed each other's company. When their mother came to get them in the morning to find them with dirty hands and huge grins on their faces, she turned beet red and yelled at them before sending them to their rooms again. Regulus hated getting yelled at, but Sirius didn’t seem to mind as much. After she sent them up their rooms, Sirius had comforted Regulus. Sometimes, when it was late, Regulus could still hear what Sirius had told him.  _ “Don’t listen to them. Their opinion doesn’t matter. When we get older we’ll both be rich and famous, and they’ll be sorry they ever yelled at us!”  _ That had always made Regulus feel better when they were kids. Sirius telling him all about what they were going to do when they were older, what they were going to achieve. But he went and actually took matters into his own hands, and Regulus was left to be the one who had to be responsible. He was the one who had to live up to his parent’s expectations now, no matter how impossible they were. 

“That was a long time ago.” Regulus said flatly. James shrugged. 

“It was still a bloody good prank.” 

“I’m not surprised you think so. Why do you and your friends prank people so much anyway?” James thought for a few seconds. 

“I guess a lot of them are revenge pranks. Or else we just have a fun idea we want to try.” 

“Seems stupid to me.” 

“I guess, but we stopped doing so many pranks for the hell of it, we did that prank because some group of slytherins called our friend Mary a mudblood. We knew they studied at the library around this time, so we wanted to get them back.” Regulus paused for a second. He knew it was wrong to call people mudbloods. He saw the look on some muggleborn students when his friends shouted that word at them. He stopped using the word after third year. He had called a Hufflepuff girl in his year a mudblood. He hadn’t meant anything by it, but she didn’t show up to classes the next day. Her friends had yelled at him for being a dick and told him that she hadn’t come out of her dorm for hours because she was crying. It reminded him of when his mother had yelled at him, telling him how worthless he was. After she did that Regulus would always lock himself in his room until he could stop crying. After that he stopped calling people mudbloods, but his friends still did. He didn’t tell them to stop because then they would stop being his friend, and then his parents could find out. Then they wouldn’t approve of him anymore, they would treat him like Sirius. 

“I guess I don’t blame you, then.” Regulus mumbled. 

“I thought you would jump to their defense.” James replied. There weren't any notes of anger or mockery in his voice, more like awe or genuine shock. 

“I guess they aren’t really my friends, just the people I spend time with.” Regulus said. 

“Last time I checked, if they aren’t related to you and you spend time with them then they're your friends.” James replied. 

“They’re arseholes.” 

“Then why do you spend time with them?” 

“Because.” 

“Well it just doesn’t seem like a very smart choice to hang around arseholes.” 

“I just...I just do, okay?” 

“Alright, alright.” James said, raising his hands in surrender. They didn’t say anything for a couple seconds as they walked down the hallway. Then Regulus thought of something. He thought of his days before Hogwarts. Before Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor and before he was sorted in Slytherin. Before he received that letter from his mom and received his new purpose. Before he made friends with those arseholes that called people slurs. Before he became who everyone told him to be. Wasn’t he happier? Wasn’t he happier when he could have fun? When every move he made didn’t need to be calculated? When he wasn’t held to the impossible Black family standard? But did it really matter anyway? He wasn’t brave like Sirius was, he couldn't just defy everyone around him like Sirius did. Regulus looked over to the other boy walking next to him. He was nice, he didn’t call people slurs, he saved him from a prank because Regulus didn’t do anything. Could he be his ticket out? Could he do something he wanted to do for the first time since he was eleven? 

“I don’t like them.” Regulus said quietly. He looked over at James, who was looking right back at him, sort of expectantly. Regulus continued talking. 

“I just felt like I had to, they were from families my parents approved of. I didn’t want to upset them.” 

“Your parents?” James asked. Regulus nodded. 

“You don’t have to do what they say, you know? They aren’t good people. You don’t owe them anything?” Regulus scoffed when he said this. 

“Yes I do! They raised me, made sure I had food and shelter and an education, I at least have to be a good son.” 

“They also locked you in a wine cellar on multiple occasions, they withheld food from you and Sirius, they also screamed at you, from what I know, almost everyday. That’s abuse, Regulus. Anyone who does that to you does not deserve jack shit from you.” Regulus paused for a second. Was James right? 

“But..but I’m not like Sirius, I can’t just turn my nose up at them.” 

“Why not?” James asked. Regulus looked at him.

“Because…” 

“Exactly, there is no reason you can’t. You aren’t alone, Regulus. We will help you. Everything will be ok, I promise you. But you have to get out of that house, it’s taking a toll on you.” Regulus thought about what James said. Could he do it? Could he just up and leave?

“I would be ending a 500 year long bloodline.” Regulus said. James laughed. 

“Are you kidding me? That’s so cool! Imagine being able to tell people that you did that. You’d also be able to one up Sirius. Ending a bloodline is way cooler than just being sorted into Gryffindor.” Regulus laughed too, James just had something about him that was cheerful and bright. 

“So what do I do?” Regulus asked. James smiled. 

“We’ll help you make a plan.” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a compass. 

“I don’t think we’ll get lost in this hallway, Potter.” Regulus said. James laughed. 

“It’s not for that, and call me James.” he replied. Regulus felt something in his stomach. He didn’t know what it was, it felt sort of like a flutter, he had never felt it before. If it persisted he would go to Madam Pompfrey. 

“Ok, then. James, why do you need a compass?” James just smiled in reply. His signature smile that could light up a room. He raised the compass up to his mouth, seemingly to talk through it, and that’s exactly what he did. 

“Sirius..Sirius. Sirius!” Then Regulus heard a voice coming out of the compass, it was like a muggle phone. 

“Heyy Prongs, such a funny story, we got caught by Slughorn. We’re waiting outside his office now.” 

“What?” James exclaimed. 

“It was Sirius’s fault! He kept making so much noise!” Remus called. His voice was quieter because he was farther away from the other compass. 

“Oh, bullshit! Look, we’ll be there as soon as possible to get you guys out and- oh shit, he’s coming, gotta go!” And with that the voices from the compass stopped. James sighed. 

“Why do they have to come get us?” Regulus asked. 

“The door at the other end of the tunnel only locks from the outside, we can’t get out without them coming to get us, of course I didn’t expect them to get caught.” James replied. Regulus shrugged. 

“It isn’t a bad hallway, a little long though.” James laughed lightly. 

“We’re coming up on the door soon.” 

“So, your plan. You’re thinking...what? A strongly worded letter?” Regulus asked. James laughed again. Regulus noticed that he laughed a lot, he always looked happy.

“Hardly, we’ll figure something out, take some input from Sirius, and Remus, he’s smart.” The two of them came to the end of the tunnel, which was just another wall, but this one had the outline of a door on it. 

“They should be here soon, Slughorn normally doesn’t lecture. 

“Right.” Regulus said. There were a couple moments of silence before Regulus spoke up again. 

“Thank you for offering to help me, I really appreciate it. No one’s ever done that for me before.” Regulus thought James might look sympathetic given his whole personality, he thought he would look down on him like a wounded dog that needed saving. But he didn’t. He just smiled at Regulus again. 

“Of course! That’s what friends do.” James said. 

“We’re friends now?” Regulus asked, skeptical. 

“Well, if you would rather be friends with those slytherin arsholes then by all means-” 

“No no..that..uh..sounds good.” James smirked. He didn’t smile his signature smile that could light up a room, he smirked. Almost like he was up to something. He took a couple steps towards Regulus, leaving Regulus pressed up against the wall. 

“I can understand if you don’t want to be friends,” James said quietly. He was very close to Regulus now, their chests were almost touching. Regulus looked at James, his grey eyes stared up at James’s hazel ones. He didn’t know what was happening, but he knew he didn’t want it to stop. Before Regulus could reply James cupped his face and pressed their lips together. It took Regulus a second to process this, but only a second, because soon he was kissing James back. The only thing going through his head was “ _ Oh god, I’m kissing James Potter! Oh my god Oh my god.” _ Regulus smiled as he kissed James, he still didn’t completely know what was happening, but he knew he was happier than he had been in a really long time. Then, they heard footsteps close to the door next to them and the boys jumped apart. Sirius came bursting in along with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. 

“Well Sluthorn gave us a week's detention so-” Sirius turned to see Regulus also in the tunnel. His eyes widened for a second before he spoke. 

“Hey.” Sirius said. Regulus smiled weakly. 

“Hi.” he replied. He didn’t really know what to say, thankfully James stepped in. 

“Sirius, we have something to tell you, we also need your guys’s help.” he said, looking up at the other two boys. 

“With what?” Sirius asked, he looked confused, but he was also fighting back a smile. James smiled and looked back at Regulus. Regulus nodded and looked back at Sirius. 

“I’m going to break a 500 year old bloodline.”. 


End file.
